If you saw a woman with a black eye

[bruffin]

What is your automatic thought on how she got it?

I’ve never heard of someone falling on a step, getting a black eye, a bruised forehead, a split lip and bruised leg. That would have been one hell of a fall to damage your face so badly.

I know someone who recently managed to seriously damage shoulder, ribs, hip and knee by somehow tripping over an outside step.
Meanwhile people walking out of completely smashed car with barely a bruise! It happens.

It's more infuriating when it shouldn't have been more than a small bruise.

I genuinely wouldn't assume, I would wonder though. Domestic abuse or fighting would be top of my list to be fair. However I had a black eye when DS1 was about 18 months and threw a metal thomas train at me during a tantrum.

I would think accident. My mum was constantly black and blue from falls before she went into a home - she had a few black eyes.

I’m so clumsy that I’ve had numerous awkward-to-explain bruises so my first thought is “ouch” followed by “what happened”.

However, I do jump to domestic abuse, if the bruises are covered up by heavy makeup, sunglasses or clothing. It’s trying to hide them that would cause me to wonder.

Sympathies OP. I tripped on a tiny step going into a supermarket. I ended up with a forehead that made me look like one of those aliens on Star Trek, two black eyes and a broken nose. You know when you see a photo the police release when an 80 year old gets mugged? That's what I looked like.

DH police officer, my doing a civilian role, fortunately no one thought he did it, caused alot of amusement and mickey taking but made me think because he could have done it couldn't he.

I fell down the stairs and badly tore ligaments in my ankle.
Had my wisdom tooth removed and looked like a boxer after a bad fight.
Broke my kneecap and had my knee in a brace, walking with crutches.

My DH who is double my size in weight and a foot taller always got mean looks.

@StamfordHill confirming my long held belief that Jimmy Carr is a cunt.

Thinking about it, it wouldn't even occur to me (because it never has) that it might be domestic violence. If I even think about it, at most I merely wonder if it's accident or sport.

I’ll never forget how upset my DH was when my baby DD gave me a black eye. She flung herself back in my arms and knocked me right on my eye socket. He was so worried about what other people were going to think. He wasn’t wrong. I had three separate mums approach me and tell me that ‘they are there if I need someone to talk to’. It was ridiculous. One of them actually rolled their eyes when I told them I was head butted by DD, she then proceeded to give me her phone number in case I ever needed help.

If they were trying to hide it - make up/hair/not mentioning it - I'd assume dv.

Brazing it out - accident.

MIL had one a few weeks ago, her dog pulled her over when she was walking it. I’d most likely think she had an accident.

The only black eyes I've ever had were from walking into a wall (yes, really) and being kneed in the face by my friend's child, so I wouldn't assume anything but DV would go through my mind as one of the possible reasons because I was concerned people would think that both times I've had one.

Given I’ve had 2 black eyes in the last 6 months just being clumsy I don’t think I could assume anything. I got one when I went over the handle bars of my bike. I got the other when I ran into a doorframe - seriously. I was trying to get through baby gate, the whole thing gave away, I fell forward, put my hands out, unfortunately 2 doorways opposite and my hands when either side and bam, inpressivd black eye from a door frame.

It’s hard walking around looking like that. I know what everyone thinks. I got a black eye 10 years ago also from a bike incident. Plus a few suspect looking cuts. Really did look like I’d been beaten up. Taxi driver who drove me to get check out assumed the worst and didn’t believe me, people at work assumed the worst (and I my found out later), mutual friends/aquantences suspected my then very recent ex...

In my immediate circle of friends I would assume it was a horse related accident (because it often has been in the past) and would express concern and ask how it happened.

For a stranger or acquaintance I wouldn’t assume anything.

My friend recently had a bad fall of her horse and had serious bruising under both eyes and her one cheekbone. She said the looks her DP would get when they were out in public were shocking.

I wouldn't assume anything because I'd hate for someone to wrongly make assumptions about how I got a black eye.

The only black eye I ever had was got from slipping in the area outside the sauna at the swimming pool and face planting on the concrete floor. Painful but more embarrassing than anything. So no, I wouldn’t make assumptions.

Accident would be my first thought.

I'm severely accident-prone so I'd assume an accident... Or you have a toddler

My most recent black eye came from falling off a curb whilst drunk so I'd assume she did something like that.

I'd wonder if she'd been hit, yeah. Despite the fact that any time I've had a black eye in recent years, has been due to being headbutted by my baby and dropping a phone on my face!

I'd presume accident but I might gently ask depending on circumstances. I've had a policeman I knew through work ask about bruising on my wrists before and if I needed any help. Didn't bother me.

I bruise easily and things that have given me a black eye include a cardboard tube wielded by a 2 year old, a plastic car, a volleyball and walking into the wall in ds's bedroom twice.

With most face swelling or bruising I would assume cosmetic work (I've left with some nasty bruises just from the dentist! And I've seen a lot of filler and Botox disasters), most other injuries I would think it was an accident or some kind of self inflicted injury, I managed to get some shocking marks carrying heavy shopping bags around my wrist on a day long shopping trip once! Looked like I'd been cable tied or hand cuffed (and tried to break free!)

But there is something so shocking about a black eye it always makes me think of spousal violence. The only thing that would make me think that more is hand marks on somebody's neck. Even though most DV survivors I have met mostly had their bodies injured not there faces. I will try not to jump to any conclusions in future though! I have had so many people disclose DV to me now, it's where my mind goes first

I was leaning over my daughter helping her get dressed and she decided that would be a good time to show me how high she could jump. Hit me right in the eye with her hard head. 😒

I remember going to the supermarket with DH on my way back from hospital, I was pregnant and suffering with hyperemesis. I'd been into hospital so many times, and had so many IV drips, that my arms were black and blue with bruises all the way from the backs of my hands to above my elbow. It looked horrific, but as it was a warm day I didn't have my arms covered. You could see people looking from my arms to DH and back again. One bloke went out of his way to barge into DH.

To this day I have no idea what he thought he was achieving by this? If he genuinely believed I was a victim of DV did he think making my potential abuser angry would have made life any easier for me?

Well, I wouldn´t think anything weird. My baby was crying in the middle of the night I jumped up half asleep and went to rush out in the dark and walked into the half open door face first. Nice bruise on eye and eyebrow. My neighbour joked about that and husband sent him to hell...