Is my husband a self-important prick? (Slightly lighthearted...)

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

So for context we have both been working from home for more than a year. Similar level of seniority and salaries. I worked from home a lot before the pandemic, he didn't.

This morning I had put a wash on and asked him to put it out on the line when it was finished if he was free (he works downstairs, I'm upstairs). The response I get is 'you know I have a meeting every Friday at 9am.' Erm no I don't because I'm not your PA and even though you might have told me that information several times I don't retain it because I don't need to and quite frankly I don't care!

I think being in the same house 24/7 may be getting to us slightly...wish he would bugger off back to the office and take his very important job with him and leave me to WFH in peace!

You shouldn't have used "if you're free" you should have used "when you're free"

^ from my DH

Ah good tip, thanks. Except that could have been 5pm by which time the opportunity to dry outside has gone!

I think being in the same house 24/7 may be getting to us slightly

It certainly seems that way.

My DH would never get washing out/ unload the dishwasher when WFH. If I asked he would look at me, incredulous, but I am working.
I have always WFH some of the time and often he will book in tradespeople, deliveries etc for those days because "surely you can spare five minutes".... 🤔

What is good for the goose... he is now running back to the office every opportunity he gets, actually running 😂

I am jealous, @Fleurchamp. Would love the house to myself again! I also get 'just because I'm not in a meeting it doesn't mean I'm not working.' Erm yeah I know...I do know what working looks like - I do it myself!!

"10am is fine dear"

YABU, we are all working from home, and I don't do washing or other chores during the working day, nor do I expect anyone else to, meeting or no meeting.

And I know my DH's regular meetings and he knows mine, it's not that hard.

Jesus, it's the least I'd expect and I'd not have to ask him. If the washing machine makes it annoying chirpy noise signalling it's finished he'll just get it out and hang it up in between meetings. He'll also take DC to school or collect if he has no meetings at that time, make me lunch or empty the dishwasher. I am also working but do odd hours here and there during the day and a couple of evenings. We just do stuff between us that needs doing.

I understand that we both have flexible jobs though (his more than mine as if I've a client I can't just leave them to hang out washing).

One of my friends ex husbands told her his job was too important to nip to Tesco for calpol when one of the kids was sick, that was the final straw and is why he is now the ex husband.

@DuesToTheDirt

YABU, we are all working from home, and I don't do washing or other chores during the working day, nor do I expect anyone else to, meeting or no meeting.

And I know my DH's regular meetings and he knows mine, it's not that hard.

Wtf, why do you know your DH's regular meetings? I'd rather focus on my own work diary thanks

The response I get is 'you know I have a meeting every Friday at 9am.' Erm no I don't because I'm not your PA and even though you might have told me that information several times I don't retain it because I don't need to and quite frankly I don't care!

This bit makes you look bad, not him.

I would have said “when you’re free this morning” or something like that.

In my house, the wash machine beeps away if you ignore it so he’d want to get up if he works downstairs!

Maybe start just washing your own stuff... He will have to make time in between his Very Important Job and practicing being a twerp to do his own then..
And you won't ever have to mention his unmentionables again..

Why on earth would you know your partners work diary? We ask each other when relevant, but I wouldn't know he has, say, a regular 10am Monday meeting!! I'm sure as hell he has no idea that every Tuesday at 12pm I'm in my team meeting.

Hmm, does he know your regular meeting times, though, if you have them? I was actually on Zoom interview panel asking the candidate questions when my DH burst into my study thrusting the landline phone at me and telling the caller he was handing them over to me. I had to do the palm-out stop signal at him and shoo him away.

He wasn't best pleased, but what do he expect?!

meh I don't know, I wouldn't give it that much head space tbh, he just means he's busy surely? But yeah wfh and Lock Downs are getting to a lot of people, hopefully it's nearly over

@NewlyGranny of course he doesn't know my meeting times, nor would I expect him to!

Not sure why the PA comment makes me look bad...I didn't say it to him just thought it as I sent him daggers.

I certainly know my DH regular meetings and visa versa, especially after a year, do you not take interest in each other?

Erm we have a LOT of meetings. Both of us. And do I want to talk about work when I've closed my laptop? Not really, no.

The response I get is 'you know I have a meeting every Friday at 9am.' Erm no I don't because I'm not your PA and even though you might have told me that information several times I don't retain it because I don't need to and quite frankly I don't care!

I am sure you have been delighted if HE had said that to you...

You are not inferior because you remember some details from your partner's schedule . The only comment that comes to mind is "who do you think you are" frankly.

@thirstyformore

Why on earth would you know your partners work diary? We ask each other when relevant, but I wouldn't know he has, say, a regular 10am Monday meeting!! I'm sure as hell he has no idea that every Tuesday at 12pm I'm in my team meeting.

don't you people TALK?

@motherloaded I DIDN'T ACTUALLY SAY IT!!

[quote chocolatesaltyballs22]@motherloaded I DIDN'T ACTUALLY SAY IT!![/quote]
I got that, but that doesn't change my point.

If you knew your DH thought it, and it's pretty obvious when you know each other, would you find it acceptable?

On a practical note, both DH and I tell each other about the important stuff. Unless we have things that clash, it's helpful to know which one should answer the door to a courier or take the phone call from the school.

Works both ways and makes both our lives easier.

I don't know pp are dissecting what you responded as if you literally said it

Anyway I think WFH has gotten the better of most of us. All that said I do think in the big scheme of things a lot of men regardless of whether or not they're working from home or the office don't really 'see' what needs doing around the house like cleaning, washing up etc.

Just as a thought experiment, how would you feel if your partner posted on an internet forum calling you a derogatory name for not taking the washing out?

Regardless of light hearted or not, I know how I would feel.