Just had a letter from CMS that my maintenance is going down again! For the 3rd year in a row (we’ve only been split 4 years!) I’ve worked out based on what he earns per hour and what he’s getting per year (CMS told me that much) that he works less than 20 hours a week! (Company he works for publish their pay per hour on their website).
I have to work full time even though it’s no good for either my health or DD. I do it across 3 days and 1 weekend day. DD is 6, has several medical conditions including a muscle condition, ASC is not good for her muscles after a full day at school, and we’ve had more injuries at ASC than anywhere else, she’s just too tired, her muscles are tired and she needs to rest – ASC are great offer her the sit down activities like reading and Lego but they obviously can’t control the rules on bubbles, so she still has to walk from the ASC room to the KS1 toilets which are across the hall, through the cloakroom and then through a heavy door. ASC toilets are used by Reception, I’m dreading next year when she’s in Year 3, because she will have to walk even further to the KS2 toilets if they have the same rules. She also does have to do some walking around the room, to get her snack or get herself a drink as the staff at the ASC are not allowed within 2m of the children unless they work in their bubble in the daytime or it’s an emergency. I work Tuesday to Thursday and then Saturday one week and Sunday the next
I can’t not work, UC wouldn’t cover what I need to cover for DD. Her condition means she needs to swim regularly, it strengthens her muscles and means less accidents in general, so that’s £35 a month. She has to have a specific type and style of shoe to help her walking and accommodate her prescription insoles. They’re £65 a pair. She doesn’t grow quickly but due to the way the insoles have to be changed every 12 weeks, she still needs 2-3 pairs a year. Then there’s all the other normal things that come with children; school uniform, clothes, trainers she can wear for school PE lessons, food, gas, electric etc. She’s not entitled to DLA as it’s only a mobility issue and not a learning or care need. We need 6 sets of uniform as her condition means she has toileting accidents, especially if the weathers cold or damp, so I leave a set at school and also have to have extra complete sets as she somehow manages to get her jumper soiled or wet as well as every other item! Thankfully school have a pretty good second hand uniform shop so I can buy things from there when I’m totally stuck for a small donation to the PTA but it’s the principle, why should I always have to buy everything?
I have to buy clothes for ExHs house well Ex-MILs house as he works and lives 2 hours away and comes back to the area for contact. They won’t buy clothes as he only has her 1 night EOW, so for 48 days a year it’s not worth it apparently (I see their logic!) they refuse to have her extra in the holidays so I then have to pay for holiday clubs, which can be £40 a day round here (only 2 holiday clubs in the local area, and there’s such high demand they can charge basically what they like without consequences as they’ll fill the places and the waiting list easily)
If I ask for extra money he tells me that what he pays via CMS more than covers what I need and if I need more I need to work harder like he does. Because £65 a month covers half of everything I need for her doesn’t it?
I am sick of it; I just wish I could make him work even a few more hours so I could cut mine down. If we were together I’d be working part time, probably 25 hours and him probably on closer to fulltime, although I’d be happy to be the other way round. It just seems I do everything. I am responsible for all appointments, anything to do with school, anything to do with her medical stuff, he won’t even do her physio with her.
I know I am UR but I am just fed up of everything falling to me. Just seems so unfair that I can't even afford to run a car and yet he has a nearly new one.