AIBU to find this depressing rather than inspiring?

[freecuthbert]

I really try my hardest to scrimp and save whilst on a low income. I'm a hard worker too but my industry is massively underpaid.

I keep seeing articles about people and how money savvy they are and how great their money management skills are, buying houses young and retiring early. But they usually have a good/high income to start with, some inheritance or gift from family etc.

Today another article like this has cropped up. A couple has over 5.5k income a month and have about 3k disposable income. They are set to retire early because they're so good at managing money and they would like to share their wisdom with us so we can achieve the same. Except me and my partner earn far far less than them. We'd feel well off on just the 3k, which is what they have leftover.

I am also pissed off that at the bottom of their expenses is "other costs: child support and repaying interest-free loan for a new boiler: £401.18". What a way to disguise the actual pittance the guy pays in child support, meanwhile he gets to hobnob it and retire at age 40? Also very telling that his child is simply just another expense no different to a new boiler.

I honestly haven't read past this because it really got to me. I don't feel inspired at all, I only think "what a knob". And I find it kind of depressing because I feel like no matter how hard I work I won't ever be able to achieve this, which they apparently think is purely down to good money management. I'm sure that is an aspect of course, but definitely a lot more to it than that!

So, AIBU? I'm sure I'll get a few responses telling me I'm just being jealous or to just not read these articles!

Article for those interested:
inews.co.uk/news/uk/how-i-manage-my-money-couple-photographer-royal-navy-plans-to-retire-40-earning-974132

@pallisers

I would love to see the monthly outgoings of his ex-partner who is rearing his child.

It's so smug to talk about how well he's doing financially and then drop that in If I could get 24/7 care for my child plus all bills, food and housing for around £350 a month too I'd be doing great financially, it's not exactly an achievement.

OP - you don't know he's a "deadbeat dad" - you're making assumptions based on copy from an edited article.

It's an online article, so it would be very easy indeed to add a statement at the end: "XX has asked us to clarify that...." if he was a decent, supportive dad, but realised (as have we) that the article shows him in a very poor light. Even Take A Break (as has already been mentioned) do that when the subject insists - often to the point of effectively admitting that many of the key 'hook' points in the article turned out not to be actually true, as most people would understand the concept of 'truth'.

He's not a high earner and is presumably paying the CSA calculated amount. His son might spend a lot of time with his dad thus reducing payments. His ex partner might have married a billionaire

There's only so much editing that can be done, though, before you start to wonder if the words attributed to him might actually have been based largely on reality. Even the "I have a son", like you might say 'I have a strimmer in my shed', rather than simply "My son" shouts volumes. He may have been misquoted, or almost every one of us on here might be making the same misinterpretation of his words, but he very much seems to be considering his son as a financial nuisance that will soon be out of his hair. You might well gladly count down the days until your car loan is finally paid off and the pesky thing is gone for good; not many decent parents do the same when it comes to their own children's welfare - excitedly looking forward to the day when they don't get another penny from you.

Legally, you don't have to pay for your children once they turn 18; morally, unless your child is Charlotte Church or Nicholas Hoult and they simply don't need your money at that age, it's a heartless, uncaring parent who will instantly turn off the financial support. Also, even if the boy's step-dad is a billionaire, his own dad should still be paying for him. Tesco is a multi-billion-pound company, and they most definitely don't need my money, but I still fully expect to pay for my shopping.

I've got money already saved to cover DD's years at university including a year abroad. No doubt you'll want to do the same for your daughter. Maybe that's what the bloke has done.

He might have done, but on balance, it's vanishingly unlikely, given the tone of what else he's said - and the fact that it's quite a smug, self-aggrandising article, so you'd surely include that to make him sound even more impressive. Maybe it's just me, but I just can't get over the dismissive "I have a son" phrasing, as if the lad's existence is just a little incidental quirk to his life.

@KateWinsome - you really have a vested interest in this, don’t you?!

Funny.

I'd occasionally read an arcle or book from the library about making a small house or bathroom work, inevitably they were bigger than mine, often by a fair bit.

That reminds me of a book I once ordered about what to do with a 'Small Garden'. Even the smallest of the 'small gardens' pictured was about three times the size of the postage-stamp garden I had at the time.

@synchroswimmer that’s what I’d said in my post, his forces pension won’t be great, although we don’t know what rank he is, but I’d imagine SNCO as he mentions having a management post. The pension will be frozen until he reaches age 55, so is actually decreasing in real terms. I don’t see how they think that neither of them will ever have to work again. They have one rental property, and plan on renting out their actual home but with fees, tax, maintenance costs etc won’t be raking it in.

[quote SaturdayRocks]@KateWinsome - you really have a vested interest in this, don’t you?!

Funny.[/quote]
No, just a solitary voice disagreeing with the OP on a chat forum. I think someone should email the couple and ask them to come and confirm if he really is deadbeat dad or not. Go on, OP or WeBuilt...

Their gross income isn't crazy high - £66k per annum, it's not like they're shitting money and throwing it all in our faces.

I think the reaction on here is very odd. It's not like they chose to list child support at the end as if it's an afterthought.

They're overpaying their mortgage, and they don't have debt. That's it really. I don't envy them living in a caravan but if that's what they want to do...

Massive overreactions on here saying they're horrible people.

There was a series like this on tv called How To Live Mortgage Free with Sarah Beeny. Episode 1 was a woman who lived with her parents and saved up to convert a garage on their extensive property into a separate house. Then there was the man who rustled up £40k to buy a posh caravan, which he parked for free on his parents’ farmland. Also the middle aged couple who sold an existing house to build a new (mortgage free) one out of shipping containers. Basically the way to get on the property ladder is “be rich to begin with or have rich parents”.

"There's only so much editing that can be done, though, before you start to wonder if the words attributed to him might actually have been based largely on reality. Even the "I have a son", like you might say 'I have a strimmer in my shed', rather than simply "My son" shouts volumes. He may have been misquoted, or almost every one of us on here might be making the same misinterpretation of his words, but he very much seems to be considering his son as a financial nuisance that will soon be out of his hair. "

This is such bollocks. When I interview someone it's generally for around 30 minutes, then I know I have a certain wordcount to hit to try to add in all the relevant details.

He almost certainly did not say "He’ll be an adult when we go travelling so he’ll no longer be a dependent." That's the journalist's edited way of including the fact that he has a son, and explaining how he will factor in financially.

Again, naive and wild faux-outrage on here.

I think someone should email the couple and ask them to come and confirm if he really is deadbeat dad or not. Go on, OP or WeBuilt...

Like he would either confirm it to or care about what some random like me might think

Surely the whole point of featuring in a published article like this (apart from the bunce) is that lots of people will read it, think about it, discuss it and have an opinion on it. If you don't want people to engage with your story, I'd say don't sell it to a publisher in the first place!

This is such bollocks. When I interview someone it's generally for around 30 minutes, then I know I have a certain wordcount to hit to try to add in all the relevant details.

He almost certainly did not say "He’ll be an adult when we go travelling so he’ll no longer be a dependent." That's the journalist's edited way of including the fact that he has a son, and explaining how he will factor in financially.

Again, naive and wild faux-outrage on here.

So are you admitting that journalists routinely just make up stories from the scantest of details and include actual quotes that are not actual quotes, then? Would you not record the interview to enable you to refer back to it and ensure accurate quotes and representation of what they actually said?

How are the readers supposed to know what's actually true - or do you expect us just to read your hard work and sneer "Yeah, whatever - as if!" at the end of it, like all publications/journalism websites are the Weekly World News or National Enquirer? I probably am foolish and naive, but I kind of expect journalism to be better than just what 'a man in the pub reckoned'.

I don't think I'd call what's been said on here 'outrage', though - more a 'here we go again' eye-roll.

@Ariannah

There was a series like this on tv called How To Live Mortgage Free with Sarah Beeny. Episode 1 was a woman who lived with her parents and saved up to convert a garage on their extensive property into a separate house. Then there was the man who rustled up £40k to buy a posh caravan, which he parked for free on his parents’ farmland. Also the middle aged couple who sold an existing house to build a new (mortgage free) one out of shipping containers. Basically the way to get on the property ladder is “be rich to begin with or have rich parents”.

All her shows are like this and 99% of all those property shows.

Where did I say anyone made anything up?

What I said was a journalist has to take a 30 minute conversation and turn it into 250 words. Nothing is ever going to be verbatim, because it can't be. It's not like this is some expose of their family, it's an article about their finances. And the ONLY reason the son is mentioned is in relation to their finances and future financial plans.

All her shows are like this and 99% of all those property shows.

They all seem to focus on certain people's extreme lack of imagination and often just basic inability to look on Rightmove. The availability of a very large amount of money is a given; like when they're still in their 20s but they have a budget of £1.5m - and they would be 'willing' to increase it to £2m or so for 'the right property'. Just like that: a further half million sourced following one short phone call!

I fear that some of these people actually believe that they've achieved something great - that already having a huge amount of money, resisting temptation to blow the lot on endless expensive frivolities and thus ending up still with that huge amount of money is somehow a testament to their solid financial acumen and hard slog. They maybe see the poor people and just assume they must already have recklessly spent all of their fortune.

Then again, how many times do we read on MN where somebody feels an utter failure because they can't even afford a new school jumper now their child has outgrown the old one and they're told to go on a luxury spa weekend or three-hour pampering session at a fancy salon to boost their self-confidence?!

I hate all these kind of articles... savvy mum buys tonne of pony carrots for £1, batch cooks enough for 10 years in sandwich bags in the freezer..

Where did I say anyone made anything up?

That article was all written in the first person and was clearly presented as though the man had written it all himself. The only reason there were no quote marks is because the entire piece was portrayed as one big quote from him.

I've no issue with journalists reasonably summarising somebody's words in the third person, but to make it look explicitly as though it's the subject's own actual words when it isn't would be dishonest and very lacking in integrity and professionalism.

They do it all the time, SausageRoll, write an article in the first person as though it was written by the interviewee. Daily Mail do it a lot. Did you really not know that?

Daily Mail often use the byline ^as told to

They do it all the time, SausageRoll, write an article in the first person as though it was written by the interviewee. Daily Mail do it a lot. Did you really not know that?

Oh, I know they do it - it happened to me when a certain solar-named national paper got hold of a very silly story about me, sent out a reporter and then just completely made it all up anyway. All I'm saying is that it's not what I consider to be honest journalistic integrity, however big the publication. The Independent/I have a much better reputation than the tabloids, but maybe it's undeserved?

*Daily Mail often use the byline as told to

Oh come on @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll you think he just dashed that off and sent it to the paper to see if they fancied printing how some random spends his money?

It's a series, in the same format each time.

And there's the journalist's byline right at the top!

Next, you'll be trying to tell me that not everybody selling their salacious sex-based stories to Take A Break is from the 18th Century and they don't all actually describe their coupling activities as 'romping'....

So....we're saying that what journalists report can't be trusted?

Well who knew

People like these pop up all over the place as if they have done something special and clever. As if material wealth was the only thing that mattered.

Money-aside, I wonder how they're planning to travel through Europe full time considering, you know, Brexit.

Oh come on @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll you think he just dashed that off and sent it to the paper to see if they fancied printing how some random spends his money?

Of course I don't (although I don't see why sending it in on-spec as opposed to having contacted them and pre-arranged the feature is relevant). I'm just saying that it's dishonest - however prevalent it is - to present a first-person quote when you've summarised it.

This is just an online talk forum, but I'm confident that, were I to quote here what you said and then respond to your words - except my 'quote from you' was actually my own rough re-interpretation of what I believed you meant and not what you actually said, I would rightly be pulled up for it.