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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find this depressing rather than inspiring?

167 replies

freecuthbert · 28/04/2021 17:44

I really try my hardest to scrimp and save whilst on a low income. I'm a hard worker too but my industry is massively underpaid.

I keep seeing articles about people and how money savvy they are and how great their money management skills are, buying houses young and retiring early. But they usually have a good/high income to start with, some inheritance or gift from family etc.

Today another article like this has cropped up. A couple has over 5.5k income a month and have about 3k disposable income. They are set to retire early because they're so good at managing money and they would like to share their wisdom with us so we can achieve the same. Except me and my partner earn far far less than them. We'd feel well off on just the 3k, which is what they have leftover.

I am also pissed off that at the bottom of their expenses is "other costs: child support and repaying interest-free loan for a new boiler: £401.18". What a way to disguise the actual pittance the guy pays in child support, meanwhile he gets to hobnob it and retire at age 40? Also very telling that his child is simply just another expense no different to a new boiler.

I honestly haven't read past this because it really got to me. I don't feel inspired at all, I only think "what a knob". And I find it kind of depressing because I feel like no matter how hard I work I won't ever be able to achieve this, which they apparently think is purely down to good money management. I'm sure that is an aspect of course, but definitely a lot more to it than that!

So, AIBU? I'm sure I'll get a few responses telling me I'm just being jealous or to just not read these articles!

Article for those interested:
inews.co.uk/news/uk/how-i-manage-my-money-couple-photographer-royal-navy-plans-to-retire-40-earning-974132

OP posts:
KateWinsome · 28/04/2021 18:39

That's their gross income before tax.
They both seem like grafters. He's been working since he was 17 - didn't spend 3-4 years at "uni". When wife got made redundant she got off her backside and found a job as a delivery driver.

For all we know, he may have a "uni" fund for his son, or a healthy savings pot for him. These articles are always edited.

I'm not mum to either of then (honest!) but I don't think they deserve the vitriol you're chucking at them, OP, unless you know him ...

Original poster
freecuthbert · 28/04/2021 18:41

I certainly don't know them... what a bizarre accusation.

OP posts:
madmara · 28/04/2021 18:44

Honestly I wouldn't view them as a success. Other than being mortgage free, they will be living in a camper van, with only two years of savings and have a pre-tax income of £500 a week; hardly a fortune when you're travelling.

And of course, he plans to abandon his son completely as soon as he turns 18 and with such little child maintenance being paid, presumably the relationship will be lost.

I don't understand the obsession with paying off mortgages unless it's unmanageable debt. Our mortgage is the lowest interest loan we have.

name674398 · 28/04/2021 18:44

I think they're completely naive. Our income isn't far from that (net, not gross) and our mortgage is similar, not a bloody chance we will be retiring at 40! Ok mostly due to different life style choices but I'm amazed they will have enough to not need to work again.

StillRailing · 28/04/2021 18:48

Don't read this sort of thing op.
It's my resolution to stop reading about irrelevant (to me anyway!) people.

ThetaSigma · 28/04/2021 18:49

I wonder if they’ve told the family member they’ll shortly be acquiring two cats?

KateWinsome · 28/04/2021 18:50

@freecuthbert

I certainly don't know them... what a bizarre accusation.
I find your reaction to him bizarre?

How old are you, OP? Did you or your DP go to "uni"? Why did you choose to go into a low paying industry?

littlepattilou · 28/04/2021 18:56

@freecuthbert YANBU. It's fucking annoying. This 'if I can do it so can you' bollux really boils my piss.

You often find when people are doing super dooper great financially, and/or have a successful business, and are making loads of money; they had a leg up, by way of a financial boost from someone (often their parents/family...) Not many people make it from nothing... It happens of course, but is the exception, rather than the rule.

Eg, Kylie Jenner being the world's youngest SELF MADE BILLIONAIRE was one of the big news stories of 2019. Utter shit. She is not self-made at all. She came from a famous family.

And stuff like Tom Fletcher's sister (Carrie) being on the west end, and his wife Giovanna being an author with their 'if I can do it so can you' mantra pisses me off.

It's great if you have the money, and the links to famous people who can help get you where you want to be, but don't act like every fucker can do it.

I don't hate or resent these people (believe it or not LOL) but I do LOATHE how 'making it' is dressed up as being something anyone can do. Hmm Many people will try and fail, and will feel low and depressed about it, and like utter failures. And the people who already have a back door in to an industry carping on about how they made it, and how hard they worked to make it Hmm really REALLY fucks me off.

By the way OP, please ignore the posters who are issuing patronising and demeaning comments, like 'why did you choose a low paying job to go into?' What a rude and nasty thing to say. Some people are just very unpleasant. Hmm

Original poster
freecuthbert · 28/04/2021 18:56

Your line of questioning is bizarre Hmm you can just tell me I'm being U without my whole life story you know! Grin

OP posts:
littlepattilou · 28/04/2021 19:02

Ewwww I read the story in the link the OP provided now.

What a couple of A-holes!

the80sweregreat · 28/04/2021 19:04

These articles are to be taken with a large pinch of salt! They are depressing and make normal people feel down. They really are the pits.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 28/04/2021 19:05

What littlepattilou said.

Alsohuman · 28/04/2021 19:07

I think they’re completely deluded if they think they’re never going to have to work after he’s 40. His pension’s not going to go nearly as far as he thinks it will. Poor kid and poor cats.

Original poster
freecuthbert · 28/04/2021 19:08

I know I shouldn't let this stuff get to me... usually I just roll my eyes and move on, but this article feels a kick in the teeth for some reason!

OP posts:
KateWinsome · 28/04/2021 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
freecuthbert · 28/04/2021 19:21

As if you're actually asking me to justify why I have a daughter! How crass!

OP posts:
littlepattilou · 28/04/2021 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Post references deleted post Talk Guidelines.

littlepattilou · 28/04/2021 19:22

@freecuthbert

As if you're actually asking me to justify why I have a daughter! How crass!
Don't bite. Ignore.
Dogfan · 28/04/2021 19:24

YANBU. Those things are always ridiculous and involve people living with their parents or having massive inheritances or handouts from their parents. No issue with that, lucky them, but very disingenuous to suggest it's being smart with money. I don't read those things. I also used to get so annoyed with those articles saying how people spend their money. The people are either on very high or very low incomes and so most people can't relate.

CandyLeBonBon · 28/04/2021 19:26

Some sectors just don't pay very much. That's life unfortunately. Not everyone wants to or feels capable of being in a job that pays £100k+

I'm highly trained. My industry still doesn't pay that well because it's arts based. Some industries pay better than others.

What's your ACTUAL beef @KateWinsome ?

ShirleyPhallus · 28/04/2021 19:28

It’s nuts. It’s also ridiculous - a photographer and a nursery manager are hardly lucrative careers either.

It ain’t inspiring. He’s a knob.

Twattergy · 28/04/2021 19:30

I don't find it inspiring. I doubt many people want to 'retire' at 40 and live in a skanky van. I feel old enough at 45, working is one of the things that keeps me.feeling engaged with life, stimulated and challenged. Plus it gives me cash to live on now and to save for retirement. I don't understand why people think paying off a mortgage means you don't need to work...I don't have a mortgage which is great, but there is no way it means I can't work!

CandyLeBonBon · 28/04/2021 19:31

Quite @ShirleyPhallus - I'm a photographer and I agree it absolutely isn't unless you're in the top echelons and get some very lucky breaks!

KateWinsome · 28/04/2021 19:31

So it's ok for OP to tear a stranger to bits - and make nasty assumptions about his relationship with his son - but she has an attack of the vapours when questioned about her choices and you egg her on?

Rightio.

OP - the couple in the article are clearly hardworking. Hopefully, your DP will get a good outcome from his job interview and the pair of you can knuckle down and start budgeting and saving like they did. They don't appear to have had anything handed to them so they might just be the people for you to emulate rather than despise.

FindingMeno · 28/04/2021 19:33

Love that they talk about the life choices they've made.
Well, lucky them to have been able to make those choices.
I, like plenty of other mere mortals, will probably need to work till I'm 100.