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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you retire early if you didn’t need the cash?

74 replies

Undisclosedlocation · 28/04/2021 08:24

So, shameless post for traffic.

I am mid fifties and financially independent. OH has already retired but I have stayed on so far. Theoretically it’s part time, in reality it’s not and despite trying to change this, I’m working more than ever. It’s unlikely that more discussion will improve work/life balance. Kids are all up and grown, no grandkids (yet!) so no caring responsibilities. I work for a small company which would massively struggle without me in the short term (not trying to brag, honest!) and I feel guilty considering screwing over the owner/colleagues who are friends

I do quite like my job on a good day but it’s stopping me from moving on to a new chapter/hobbies/friends/quality family time and sometimes I resent it for that. It encroaches on ‘at home’ time too so it feels hard to get away.

I think I could fill the time ok, but it feels like I would lose some of my identity and a sense of real purpose. Basically I have been having a year long dither so far, with no end in sight!

So to the question....would you work if you didn’t have to? Have you quit and either loved or regretted it? Is it shallow to just exist for pleasure while still able to contribute?

YABU - get that resignation letter in pronto, life is too short
YANBU - get your work shy butt to the office and stay there!

OP posts:

AFS1 · 28/04/2021 08:28

Personally, I would stop work tomorrow if I could afford it, but that’s partly because I really don’t enjoy my job!

My mum died at 52 and so never got to enjoy retirement, so I say go for it. If you hate not working and get bored, you’re only mid-50s so you can always get yourself another part-time job or do some voluntary work.

KFleming · 28/04/2021 08:31

I would be pushing for the actual part time hours. Or the full time pay. I would not be staying somewhere for part time pay but full time hours.

Then, if you were able to get the part time hours I’d see how that was for a bit. That might be a best of both worlds situation.
But if not, yes I’d probably quit.

Brandaris · 28/04/2021 08:32

In your situation I would give a long notice period so they could find a replacement and have time to train them up. If you think you’ll really miss working have a look for another job that you’ll be able to keep to part time?

For myself, I intend to work part time for as long as I can but with strict control over it actually being part time as I’m self employed. It doesn’t sound like that’s an option for you though. However I really enjoy my work, work with nice people, and work in a niche that is well respected. I also might change my mind when I get closer to retirement age!

PaniniHead · 28/04/2021 08:34

I would retire early and spend time volunteering. Would love to be a cat fosterer and if I could retire to do that without needing financial support from someone else, I would

Scarby9 · 28/04/2021 08:34

No, for the same reasons you are hesitant.
I'm not sure who I would be or what I would do, apart from looking after elderly parents.
Once I work out what I am retiring for, I hope I will be clearer.

Newgirls · 28/04/2021 08:36

Can you freelance? or make travel plans for later this year? Take a gap year if you really don’t want to burn your bridges?

whiteroseredrose · 28/04/2021 08:37

Definitely. I know too many people who died before reaching retirement age.

Ugzbugz · 28/04/2021 08:38

I'm 40 and would retire tomorrow if I could

DelurkingAJ · 28/04/2021 08:41

Retire early and spend time with also retired DH, yes please! We’re budgeting to both retire when he’s 60 (I’ll be 61)...if mid 50s were possible we’d be there like a shot. Plenty of small volunteering things that we could do and some travel. And I enjoy my job enormously most of the time.

ThatWouldBeEnough · 28/04/2021 08:42

I don’t know if I’d completely retire but I would reassess my work choices. I’ve known far too many people pass away late fifties/early sixties and I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste years working myself into the ground if I don’t have to.

Londongent · 28/04/2021 08:43

As a PP said you have to stop doing full time hours for part time pay, but I would retire tomorrow if I could, but my work is not my identity. If you do not have a job that you absolutely love doing (most people, I imagine) then why work if you do not have to?

minniemomo · 28/04/2021 08:43

Mid 50's yes but I would look for something to use my expertise in to benefit society - eg my friend is a business mentor for the prince's trust and I've just got dp involved

LemonRoses · 28/04/2021 08:44

No. We could afford to retire. My husband has stepped back a bit in terms of hours worked, but I have no desire to stop. In fact, I rather want more in terms of new challenges and promotion.

Finfintytint · 28/04/2021 08:44

I retired at 50 and spent a year off before getting a bit bored. I then worked part time for a while and then had another year off. I’m now working full time on a temporary contract.

Iamthewombat · 28/04/2021 08:45

I think I could fill the time ok, but it feels like I would lose some of my identity and a sense of real purpose.

That is what would bother me, too.

It’s all very well saying, “Do it! Life is too short etc etc” but working - in the right role - gives us intellectual stimulation, exposure to different people and a sense of achievement. I’d miss that.

You appear to have made yourself pretty indispensable where you currently work. Could you move to a different business, just to see what it is like? If you are at a small business just now, a move to somewhere bigger, or even just different, might reawaken your interest.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 28/04/2021 08:45

I would not work if I was financially independent and could afford not to. I would volunteer and do more things that I don't have time to do now.

Imnotbent · 28/04/2021 08:46

The fact that you have said no amount of discussion is going to improve your working conditions, gIve your notice, a bit longer if you feel you need to. Are they not screwing you over having you work excessively for part time pay?

That will free you to take a break and look for something actually part time paid or voluntary if you feel bored, lacking etc. You don’t have to retire but you can stop working.

RubyFowler · 28/04/2021 08:47

I've voted to resign, but I would actually go part time. I love my job though.

Pyewackect · 28/04/2021 08:49

I guess if you can afford it and you don’t like your job then you’d be foolish not too. Problem is few people have that level of resource and work is a financial necessity.

Buggerthebotox · 28/04/2021 08:50

In your shoes? Yes I'd retire without a glance backward. Life's too short, it really is.

BarbaraofSeville · 28/04/2021 08:51

They must know that you won't be around forever, given your age and whatever knowledge they have of your circumstances. Do they not do any succession planning?

If discussions about hours and any other annoyances haven't improved things, maybe it's time to resign. You don't owe them your life and they've failed to act on the chances that you've given to improve things.

I'm 47 and due to changes in my pension will get a small pension at 60 and the rest at state pension age. I'm currently saving so that I'll be able to taper down over the next few years, perhaps dropping a day when our mortgage is paid off and then hoping to have saved enough to be able to afford to retire properly at 60. Life is short and if you don't want to work and can afford not to, you don't have to.

HoldontoOneMoreDay · 28/04/2021 08:53

Given you're working full time for part time pay and feel that this can't be resolved, my advice is the same as it would be to anyone: leave your job.

If you resign now you could give three months' notice and still have August/September off! Then see how you feel/what you want to do. But take financial advice first, pension pots running out is a real risk and people often underestimate their longevity.

OllyBJolly · 28/04/2021 08:54

It's a personal decision and everyone is different. I love my job. I can't imagine ever not working. I feel I have so much left to achieve. I pray I keep in good health so I can keep going.

Mandalay246 · 28/04/2021 08:54

I would give up paid work in a shot if I could. There is plenty of voluntary work to be done, and I would also take up new hobbies and spend time on the ones I already have.

Original poster

Undisclosedlocation · 28/04/2021 08:55

@Imnotbent

That will free you to take a break and look for something actually part time paid or voluntary if you feel bored, lacking etc. You don’t have to retire but you can stop working.

Yes you are right of course and it’s helpful to think of it that way, thank you.

I will confess to being my own worst enemy in that direction though, I have allowed the drip feed of little extra things to accumulate and saying no to a friend is genuinely hard for me.

But as you say, my boss is not really behaving as a friend to me in this instance

OP posts:

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