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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you retire early if you didn’t need the cash?

74 replies

Undisclosedlocation · 28/04/2021 08:24

So, shameless post for traffic.

I am mid fifties and financially independent. OH has already retired but I have stayed on so far. Theoretically it’s part time, in reality it’s not and despite trying to change this, I’m working more than ever. It’s unlikely that more discussion will improve work/life balance. Kids are all up and grown, no grandkids (yet!) so no caring responsibilities. I work for a small company which would massively struggle without me in the short term (not trying to brag, honest!) and I feel guilty considering screwing over the owner/colleagues who are friends

I do quite like my job on a good day but it’s stopping me from moving on to a new chapter/hobbies/friends/quality family time and sometimes I resent it for that. It encroaches on ‘at home’ time too so it feels hard to get away.

I think I could fill the time ok, but it feels like I would lose some of my identity and a sense of real purpose. Basically I have been having a year long dither so far, with no end in sight!

So to the question....would you work if you didn’t have to? Have you quit and either loved or regretted it? Is it shallow to just exist for pleasure while still able to contribute?

YABU - get that resignation letter in pronto, life is too short
YANBU - get your work shy butt to the office and stay there!

OP posts:
ClareBlue · 28/04/2021 08:55

You say you don't want to let your colleagues down who are friends, but they are happy to pay you for part time work whilst receiving full time hours. I think that by willing to do this it shows you can not see your life outside work and also the work functioning without you. But,

Nobody is indespendible and organisations, even small ones, go on with or without you. You should only think of what is good for you.

By asking the question here you obviously have some thoughts you want to try something away from what you do now. You don't have to call it retirement, just a different life phase,

You are concerned work gives you your purpose and you would lose it, but I would say that is a good reason to look for a change as work really is not all what we are,

You can manage your exit to minimize disruption and they really would understand

Are you reluctant because of the example set by your OH ?

I would say go for it, but treat it as a project. Set goals for new interests, hobbies, volunteering etc

And if is possible, get two goats to look after and you will be for ever happyGrin

Zancah · 28/04/2021 08:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CounsellorTroi · 28/04/2021 08:58

I retired on a voluntary early exit scheme two years ago, just short of my 58th birthday. Have not regretted it for s second.

SynchroSwimmer · 28/04/2021 08:58

In answer, I would definitely fix the current part time hours, perhaps by establishing which days you are working, and which days you are not in, so the company have no expectation of you on those days. Part time working is the perfect compromise.

I would say maximise this time that you have at this age - while you are young, fit and have energy to go out and do things.

None of us know what the future holds, I lost my husband way before pension age, also a close friend, he had recently self-purchased extra pension years, very active, had loads of exciting plans, had no idea what was about to happen. I would say grab each day and grab it now.

I was made redundant mid-fifties and it was great to become self-employed and then spend time working outdoors, realised I resented all the decades of my life that I had been forced to spend working indoors.

Still not pensionable age, but made the decision to max out my enjoyment of life as it is now, whilst physically able, rather than wait for the magic pension date - and then find that I can’t physically do stuff and travel.

Energy and fitness levels drop off notably between mid 50’s and the age of 60, when not working fulltime, it’s nice to create new routines and do things differently, plan days out, spend more time with friends, boredom has not featured at all.

Dailywalk · 28/04/2021 08:59

Life is too short!

dottiedodah · 28/04/2021 08:59

Quite honestly life is too short for this shit! I understand you are well thought of at work ,but no one is indispensable as they say! I would give notice for 1 month now .Your DH is retired ,and you can have days out ,a more relaxed lifestyle a dog maybe? Take advantage of cheap weekends away.While you are well enough to enjoy all this

SpiderinaWingMirror · 28/04/2021 09:00

Retire is over stating it, but I have a degree of financial freedom and I did just leave a job in 2019 because it was making me miserable! I literally realised I didn't have to do it.
I have a hob job now, pay is poor but I can literally shut the computer at 4.30 and not give it another thought.
I have a friend who ni longer works but is involved in setting up a school for high achieving autistic children.

Original poster
Undisclosedlocation · 28/04/2021 09:00

Actually since starting rethinking this week more seriously about what I would do, I have come up with a number of options which could include low key paid work in my field freelance and I could very easily find volunteer opportunities which are my direct specialist skill set. Mad that I haven’t sat back and really thought that through before now.

Hmm, maybe I’m just held back by fear of the unknown?

OP posts:
Zancah · 28/04/2021 09:00

If I was in a full on job that I disliked, yes I'd give it up. But not to do absolutely nothing. I'd stagnate.
I'd get a really light, no hassle job in its place. Let's face it, you'd have to have some serious moola behind you to not need to earn a single penny for the rest of your days, even a couple of hundred pounds a month is going to help.

Userg1234 · 28/04/2021 09:00

I'm 52 and plan to dramatically slow down at the end of the year. With the aim of stopping the end of 2022. I was always going to retire at 55 but have arthritis which my job doesn't help. It's not too bad but I can afford it.
I think about fil who worked to 70, had a heart attack and was too worried to go anywhere or do anything.
I have lots of customers who could garden themselves but are too busy in retirement enjoying themselves. You will fill your time and develop as a person I assure you.
I also think about my parents who were dead at 54 dad and 47 mum😥

Stuffin · 28/04/2021 09:03

I hope to retire in 4 years when I will be early 50s.

After working around 35 years full time I am more than happy to spend my healthy years in retirement.

bunglebee · 28/04/2021 09:04

Why don't you just, you know, change jobs? You can find a job where p/t is truly possible and see how you feel with more time for life.

Or you really have nothing to lose by telling the business owner that either you really do p/t or you quit, if you're as essential as you say. The fact you've framed this as a binary stay/retire makes me think your thinking has gone a bit rigid.

Laska2Meryls · 28/04/2021 09:05

Oh god yes, I retired at aged 62 at the beginning of last year... Events have meant that It's not been quite what I imagined so far, but I have not regretted the move at all..
Even with lockdowns I have been so busy and just love being able to do what I want ...
Life out of the office is just brilliant !
Do it..

BingBunnyIsAnnoying · 28/04/2021 09:06

I'm 42 and would probably get a p/t job instead of fully retire. More for the social aspect and mental well-being. I would leave my current job today if I could

My kindred spirit at work is leaving this Friday after eighteen years. When they first told me I was absolutely gutted. They are 55 and have never had children, no mortgage, just came into inheritance and their partner has a small successful bust which they plan to help in where they can. They've just hated working at my place for the last six years and I think furlough was an eye opener into what life could be like

Laska2Meryls · 28/04/2021 09:07

I spent the last 5years of my working life just dreaming of the day.. And as soon as I could afford it, I went without a single look back ( and I had a busy fulfilling job )

Etulosba · 28/04/2021 09:08

I've decided to retire early. The wheels are in motion. I have too many things that I want to do and work keeps getting in the way. Covid has has made it far worse and focussed my mind. Losing my identity is not an issue and it's perfectly possible to be intellectually stimulated, meet new people and have a sense of achievement without working. My father showed me that. Not everybody spends their retirement watching reruns of Countdown.

My boss suggested going part time but I have seen too many colleagues being paid three days wages for five days work for me to consider that as an option.

Oddly enough people keep suggesting part time jobs I could do to fill my time. I won't need anything extra to fill my time!

TinyGlassOwl · 28/04/2021 09:08

I would say go for it, but treat it as a project. Set goals for new interests, hobbies, volunteering etc

Agree.

If you're worried about boredom or loss of identity surely there are other things you can do that don't involve this specific paid role?

I am in a similar-ish position although a few years younger so 'retirement' per se isn't on the cards. I'm in a job that I don't feel I can leave at the moment but the life has gone out of it and I'm just going through the motions. So I'm looking to the medium/long-term by gaining extra qualifications / training that will allow me to work for myself. Hopefully it will give me more control over that essential work/life balance and let me pursue my professional and personal interests rather than stare at spreadsheets all day long, which is what my once-interesting and hands-on job has become!

Life is too short to stay in a job out of (possibly misplaced) loyalty.

ClareBlue · 28/04/2021 09:10

SyncroSwimmer has it
' max out enjoyment of life'
All those that have experience of early life bereavement say go for it. That says something.
My Dad a vet, just establishing a successful practice, 3 young children, fitness levels to compete in cycling competitions, Dead at 44 from an unknown genetic issue.

Life really is too short. What's the worst that can happen? Worst is not trying it.

Original poster
Undisclosedlocation · 28/04/2021 09:11

Thank you so much everyone, this is really helping.

OP posts:
Couchbettato · 28/04/2021 09:12

We live to live. We shouldn't work to live or live to work.

I think some people let it become part of their identity and miss out on other opportunities to broaden their horizons.

So yes, I would retire early if I could.

EerieSilence · 28/04/2021 09:13

I enjoy my job but I can also imagine some hobbies that would definitely keep me occupied.
I would be leaving my job immediately if given the chance, despite liking it a lot.

Batteriisincluded · 28/04/2021 09:14

Yes, I did and retired at 50. I have a very flexible part-time income, but I'm self employed and decide how I fulfil my contracts. Never looked back. So many things to do!

Ponoka7 · 28/04/2021 09:16

I had to come out of work because of health issues. I'm in my 50's, mortgage free and can live ok on what I've got. My time is full. I've got grandchildren though and I've recently started dating again. I'm desperate to take up sewing but can't find the time. My Sister who retired at 60, no children/partner, but lots of friends, doesn't know how she ever found the time to go to work. I've got lots of city breaks/historical houses on my to do list and I'm owed three theatre trips when things open up again. I bought a cross trainer and new weights during lock down. I like gardening. So my hobbies are varied. Voluntary work is in the future. Don't jump in to quickly, or you might as well stay in work.

CombatBarbie · 28/04/2021 09:18

In a heartbeat, the fear of the unknown is probably your enemy but look at what you have listed for advantages, hobbies etc. You only get one life, if you can afford it, do it!!

Ponoka7 · 28/04/2021 09:18

I should add that I was widowed in my 30's, which changed my perspective. We had so much planned when work wasn't as intense and our children wasn't so young.