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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wanting to report her to SS? Wondering how to remain Anonymous.

53 replies

Breastfeedingworries · 27/04/2021 21:27

Hi all, going to keep this as brief as I can as I’m tired and not feeling well but some things are playing on my Conscience so I want some advice. I’ll will reply with more detail and explanation tomorrow. (I think I’ve posted previously about her but can’t find the thread)

A friend of a friend I know, I’ve seen a little of and quite a bit recently (I helped her through a breakup) she’s what you’d call a vulnerable adult, was in and out of care herself, had quite a bad upbringing and turned to drugs in her youth. She’s had two children previously removed, then (you’d say turned her life around) everything seemed to be well with her, her third child is 4 but recently because of a new relationship there’s drugs, lots of face tattoos (not that I’m judging on that score but it seems unstable, I’m talking in the space of few months being covered so worried reguarding mental health)

Now I’ve seen things on social media, (not naming to be that outing) but drugs being taken during the school day. I think it’s the reason she isn’t taking her dc to school as she’s on benders with this boyfriend. They recently broke up but got back together I’m worried mostly about his influence on her life.

I’m wanting advice on how to report to her dcs school. I think they’d be the best to speak to. Cuts out the middle person and time if you go through a charity, also the hold times are madness currently with Covid. I need to remain Anonymous and I’m worried about sharing how I know what I know and being traceable. In all honestly I’m just hoping she has the support and intervention so this dc isn’t removed. She knows where I and a friend live who would know the most to tell the school. Do you think if I keep it too vague they won’t act?

sorry longer that I intended even when I tried to keep it short!

OP posts:
Shimmyshimmycocobop · 27/04/2021 22:27

I would call child and family social services and ask to speak to the duty worker rather than the school, you can do this anonymously.

Bluntness100 · 27/04/2021 22:29

I’d defintely call social services direct. Don’t go via the school.

clareykb · 27/04/2021 22:30

Just for reassurance. I work in SS we get anonymous referrals all the time and they are kept confidential. Staff are very used to doing it so it shouldn't be an issue at all.

Tututootwoto · 27/04/2021 22:31

Report to Ss not school

stuckinagut · 27/04/2021 22:37

I think our HT recently sent around a link or notice about a form or app (she's very keen on apps) called 'whisper' for discrete reports of welfare concern....

lanthanum · 27/04/2021 22:41

If the child's not in school, then that probably provides an excuse for SS to pay a visit to follow up the absence. Then the mother need not even suspect that anyone has said anything.

shinynewapple21 · 27/04/2021 22:44

Another one saying report directly to social care .

PandemicAtTheDisco · 27/04/2021 22:47

Be specific when speaking to SS. Say drugs done 5 days in a row and child off school at same time. Identify school. This means a quick check - yes child off school at time stated.

In my experience some school staff are less confidential than they should be.

Ohnomoreno · 27/04/2021 22:53

No experience but I'd definitely ask for this thread to go, you never know! Seems like ppl have provided good input.

Kangaroobill · 27/04/2021 22:56

The direct route is to report to social services. School can’t report your concerns only their own. A welfare check by social services will be better than a doorstep visit by school who have no power to enter the home.

takemetothelakes · 27/04/2021 23:04

@Kangaroobill

The direct route is to report to social services. School can’t report your concerns only their own. A welfare check by social services will be better than a doorstep visit by school who have no power to enter the home.
Neither can social care unless they have cause to attend with the police.
ButterflyTonight · 27/04/2021 23:07

Another one saying go directly to Social Services, both for speed (for the child) and more anonymity (for you).

(Retired teacher, worked in areas where drugs were a big problem).

SnowdaySewday · 27/04/2021 23:11

@Breastfeedingworries

Do you think the school would be more outing? Maybe I should re think and just go direct. I just worry wi the all the calls they’ll be getting he’ll be low on their radar, the school know him, can call his mum straight up and sort a welfare check.
School can't do any of that. The services responsible for safeguarding are social care, health and police. Not education. All the school can do is report to social services, which won't carry much weight if all they have is an anonymous report, so will tell you to report.

Call Social Services. A PP has explained how to contact them.

Kangaroobill · 27/04/2021 23:14

@takemetothelakes yes but social services in this case are the only service who can start the ball rolling. It’s not a police matter so they won’t get involved so a report to social services will start enquiries to see if it meets section 47 and if it’s decided it does they will do a full assessment. As I’m sure you know but I get the feeling you wanted me to expand on my previous post??

takemetothelakes · 27/04/2021 23:17

[quote Kangaroobill]@takemetothelakes yes but social services in this case are the only service who can start the ball rolling. It’s not a police matter so they won’t get involved so a report to social services will start enquiries to see if it meets section 47 and if it’s decided it does they will do a full assessment. As I’m sure you know but I get the feeling you wanted me to expand on my previous post??[/quote]
I was just clarifying that social services don't have the power to enter a property either.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 27/04/2021 23:18

I would screenshot all the posts where she talks about taking drugs, edit them so you aren't identifiable and then make a throwaway email account and send them on to SS. If its reported without evidence then she may well delete everything and deny it all.

Combustablecustard · 27/04/2021 23:19

Go directly to social care, as others have said. School probably would tell you to do this anyway as it would be third party reporting if they did it on your behalf

me4real · 27/04/2021 23:20

I would report to Social Services. The school would only do that anyway, or SS would be the right people to contact I think.

They wouldn't disclose who told them.

Butwasitherdriveway · 27/04/2021 23:22

Screenshot. Give to school. Post anonymously if you have to.

Lalliella · 27/04/2021 23:22

You were right in your heading - report to SS. It’s very brave of you, well done for doing this for the child.

42isthemeaning · 27/04/2021 23:35

Hi OP. I am a DSL working in school. I would have to tell you to take your concerns to SS directly.
SS would also contact school.

2bazookas · 27/04/2021 23:39

Do please inform social services before something terrible happens to that child.

WatchlistAndWaiting · 27/04/2021 23:45

Good on you for reporting.

When you speak to social services, make sure the first thing you say is that you're worried about consequences for you if the person you're reporting finds out. That means it's top and centre of what they log.

If she's had 2 children removed in the past, can't SS say they're just checking in on her without a specific reason?

Mittens030869 · 27/04/2021 23:50

Defo report directly to SS not the school. It will be easier to keep yourself anonymous that way as well, I think.

HollowTalk · 27/04/2021 23:52

I can understand the need to post a thread about this so that you can discuss it, but for god's sake surely the answer is absolutely obvious?

Swipe left for the next trending thread