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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To give up breastfeeding as I can't lose weight

101 replies

mustardmustard · 27/04/2021 20:42

Baby is 11 weeks old and I have been breastfeeding, I originally wanted to BF until baby turned 6 months but I feel like my body is retaining all my fat and not letting me lose any weight whilst I BF. I am 2 and a half stone overweight and despite healthy eating and exercise (walking) the scales will not go down, only up if I have the odd day where I have some biscuits or chocolate.
Has anyone else experienced this? I keep hearing that people who BF lose all their pregnancy weight really quickly, this couldn't be further from the truth for me

OP posts:

TheKeatingFive · 27/04/2021 20:44

I had exactly the same issue.

It fell off when I stopped (easiest weight loss ever), but there’s no great rush to lose it, is there? Can you hold on in the knowledge that it will be easy when the time comes?

MySafeSpace · 27/04/2021 20:46

I'm with you on this one, my little boy is nearly 22 weeks and I breastfeed but my weight has not budged at all even though I regularly exercise, at least a 5/6 mile walk most days and try and do online home workouts to tone up. I've got roughly 3 1/2stone to lose to get to pre pregnancy weight and feel like I'm going nowhere but when I've expressed concern everyone says you shouldn't be dieting you're feeding your baby!! But I am always hungry and I mean always, I count down to when I can eat again and although this does tend to be fairly healthy I'm very restricted as am having to be on a strict dairy free diet too! I wish I knew the answers here as like you say most people say the weight drops off but it most certainly has not!!

littlepattilou · 27/04/2021 20:47

@mustardmustard

Weird. The weight fell off me after I had had DD. I breastfed her up to 5-6 months old, and by the time I stopped, I was half a stone lighter than I was before I was pregnant!

I was sure breastfeeding your baby helped you lose weight, not gain it.

Maybe it's not the same for everyone though.

Goblin74 · 27/04/2021 20:47

Ds is nearly 10 months old and I'm still breastfeeding. I lost all my pregnancy weight after the birth and then put on 10 lbs between months 4-6. Breastfeeding makes you ravenous but your body is also burning up to 500 calories a day extra producing milk.
Since my little boy turned 8 months old, I've shifted 6 pounds now and I'm still breastfeeding.

I know it's uncomfortable for you right now with your weight but the health benefits to you and your baby through breastfeeding are worth continuing for.

You can always tackle your weight as soon as you've stopped and 3 months isn't that long really.

However it is your body. So if you really feel you need to stop, then that is of course your choice

MySocalledLoaf · 27/04/2021 20:49

My weight loss was not steady, it came in fits and starts, with the main loss being after 3 months.
You also have the actual weight of the milk in your breasts, this reduced a lot for me over the months.
Bfing reduces your breast cancer risk so I would weigh benefit that against weight loss that might not even materialise.

Original poster

mustardmustard · 27/04/2021 20:50

Glad it's not just me Keating! How long did you BF for? How did you lose weight afterwards? Did you do anything differently to what you were doing when you BF'd?
I am still wearing my pregnancy clothes as my pre clothes don't fit and I can't really afford to buy new ones. Also my confidence has gone, don't want to go anywhere near husband and feeling anxious about the impending hot weather and having to get body parts out on display!
I can already feel myself cancelling plans as I feel very self-conscious about how I look

OP posts:

TheKeatingFive · 27/04/2021 20:51

I was sure breastfeeding your baby helped you lose weight, not gain it.

It’s well documented that this isn’t the case for everyone. I looked into it at the time, it’s down to the balance of various hormones in the body.

The perception that ‘everyone’ loses weight is super annoying.

OP, I took omega 3 supplements at the time and it helped shift a bit, but ultimately I just had to be patient.

Wobbitcatcher · 27/04/2021 20:52

After my first baby I found that the weight dropped off me, but not in the first few weeks. I have photos 6months pp where I’ve still got a bit of a belly then after a year I was a lot smaller. I’m 6months pp with my second and haven’t lost the weight yet either. I’m sure it will go though. For me the benefits far far outweigh the weight though.

Draineddraineddrained · 27/04/2021 20:53

I'm the opposite - losing weight without trying, can only assume it's the bf. Won't necessarily make any difference if you stop!

Orangedaisy · 27/04/2021 20:53

I bf both of mine, one to 2 years and one to 3 years (just bedtime feeds after about 18 months for both). I swear I didn’t lose the weight until they were both eating solids properly. It was almost like my body was saving calories for them until it knew they got enough from food.

FTEngineerM · 27/04/2021 20:54

I mean you can stop for what ever reason you want, whenever you want; your titties. So no YANBU.

Will you still think those 2stone are as important in a decade or so? It depends how it makes you feel, that is literally all that matters.

tuliplily · 27/04/2021 20:56

I think it is completely normal @mustardmustard . I know it's annoying and I understand completely how you feel but you're body is working so hard to keep another one alive! That's all your doing and it's completely amazing that you can do that. Don't mean to sound patronising at all but whenever I feel shit about my weight then I remind myself that I am solely keeping another human alive with my milk and it makes me feel a bit better. FWIW, I was the same with my first and I lost the weight when I went back to work. I Imagine it will be the same with DC2.
You're doing a brilliant job so don't beat yourself up about it.

HarrietM87 · 27/04/2021 20:57

I lost the weight in chunks over the first year breastfeeding as the baby made leaps - it was weird. So I lost like a stone when baby started solids, really quickly in a few weeks, then another half stone at about 9 months, and then the last half stone when I stopped completely. It’s shit feeling like you’re not yourself but you are doing a great thing for your baby. You will also reduce your risk of breast and ovarian cancer and type 2 diabetes so like a pp said why not just accept this is the way it is for a few more months. How would you feel if you stopped breastfeeding and didn’t lose the weight?

TheKeatingFive · 27/04/2021 20:58

Glad it's not just me Keating! How long did you BF for? How did you lose weight afterwards? Did you do anything differently to what you were doing when you BF'd?

I BF for around a year. When I stopped, I kept an eye on sweet stuff, but nothing that would have counted as ‘dieting’ in my eyes. It was all gone in six weeks. It was like a dream.

I totally get you on the clothes/confidence thing. Can you buy a few nice bits to lift your mood a little? I found jojo bfing clothes quite good.

Original poster

mustardmustard · 27/04/2021 20:59

Thanks everyone for your replies.
It sounds like some of us are not as lucky then!
I really enjoy BFing but also want my body back, like one of you said it might not even make a difference!
Loaf - Good to hear it might be possible once I reach 3 month
Some good advice here, I think I will carry on for a bit longer

OP posts:

EnglishRain · 27/04/2021 21:01

This was me, but then when DD was about 4-5 months old the weight did start to come off. Really didn't shift the first few months though. She's 9 months now and I still breastfeed. I have a suspicion that I will lose a bit more when I stop feeding her if my eating stays the same.

Happycat1212 · 27/04/2021 21:02

Breastfeeding never made me lose weight, It made me gain it because it made me constantly hungry, when I mentioned it to the hv she told me to not even bother trying to lose weight whilst breastfeeding, funny thing is when I mentioned to my midwife that I was concerned with the amount of weight I had gained in pregnancy she told me not to worry as if I breastfeed I would “lose it all” Definitely doesn’t work for everyone!

cakefanatic · 27/04/2021 21:02

I actually put on weight while breastfeeding; my body seems to need extra calories and fat reserves to make the milk. But as soon as I cut down the feeds, the weight just dropped off. I didn’t have to do anything, just became less hungry and the weight melted away. I fed DC1 for 14 months and DC2 for 22 months, but noticed a dramatic change around 9/10 months and then it continued from there.

HelplessProcrastinator · 27/04/2021 21:02

I couldn't lose weight when BF. Came off with diet and exercise relatively easily when I stopped BF. Those posters and articles telling me BF would make me lose the baby weight gave me the rage. I know several other friends who experienced the same as me. I BF to about 9 months with my two but had just had enough at that stage. I was back at work and BF seemed to give me brain fog. That disappeared when I stopped as well.

Happycat1212 · 27/04/2021 21:02

Oh and I breastfed each child till 2 and no it didn’t start to come off at ANY point.

Bluntness100 · 27/04/2021 21:03

@FTEngineerM

I mean you can stop for what ever reason you want, whenever you want; your titties. So no YANBU.

Will you still think those 2stone are as important in a decade or so? It depends how it makes you feel, that is literally all that matters.

Isn’t the question will she think those extra three months were so important in a decade? We all know the answer is no.

stuckinarutatwork · 27/04/2021 21:05

I didn't lose any weight when BF nor did it suddenly drop off when I stopped so don't assume that stopping = weight loss.

sensiblesometimes · 27/04/2021 21:06

No i didnt loose anything whilst breastfeeding , i breastfed long after ds was 6 months old , i don't regret this ,but i do regret worrying about my weight , instead of enjoying life with my baby .

Found prebaby weight eventually . But wont re find those lost lovely times with my baby

pointythings · 27/04/2021 21:08

It's not predictable, is it? With my first the weight fell off me so fast I was in pre-preg jeans after 10 days and ended up 3 stone under my pre-pregnancy weight (I was overweight). Second time around I gained less but couldn't shift a thing until I stopped BF completely after a year.

The benefits of BF for your baby are still massive though, so given that you are eating healthily and exercising a lot, isn't it worth deferring the weight loss for a little while? Especially since the reduced cancer risk for you is also a thing.

Ultimately it's up to you though - if your weight is making you unhappy, that's a valid reason to stop and try to lose it.

Original poster

mustardmustard · 27/04/2021 21:08

Sounds like there are so many of us with the same issue! It's really bad that the NHS give us false information that BFing will make us lose weight! I wish I had have known that retaining weight was a possibility too, then would have felt less disappointed about it

OP posts:

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