Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you join a dating site that asks for a CRB check?

28 replies

Carolduckingbaskin · 27/04/2021 20:01

So have just seen a post online from a woman who is crowdfunding for a new dating site where all members will have an “enhanced criminal background check”.

While I think it’s terrifying that predators can use these sites, I’m not sure, if I were single that I’d want to have an enhanced check undertaken and stored by a dating agency.

So
Yabu - it’s a good idea and protects safety
Yanbu - seems a bit too much effort

OP posts:
MadeOfStarStuff · 27/04/2021 20:18

Well it’s DBS not CRB so wouldn’t trust anyone organising such a thing who can’t even get the name right

But aside from that, I wouldn’t do it. I have an enhanced DBS so I have nothing to hide, but wouldn’t want a random dating website to have that kind of thing.

And i would be concerned people would let their guard down if they thought a DBS check meant their date wasn’t a predator. A clean DBS check just means they haven’t been caught and convicted. It could actually attract predators who don’t have a criminal record because they can claim to have proof they’re not a risk

Carolduckingbaskin · 27/04/2021 20:20

To be fair - the mistake on crb vs dbs could be mine - it said “enhanced criminal record check”and I’m not au fait with this type of thing.

I get the idea - and feel for the woman who set it up (seems to be DV related) but can’t see why people would go through the hassle.

OP posts:
WisestIsShe · 27/04/2021 20:25

A clear dbs just means they haven't been caught yet! Obviously that's a light hearted comment but I'd worry that such a site had the potential to give false security about whomever you're chatting to/arranging to meet.

RaspberryCoulis · 27/04/2021 20:31

This isn't going to work.

Enhanced DBS (and standard for that matter) can only be requested if the person is going to engage in regulated activity. This is a legal definition, and covers things like working with children, caring for disabled adults, working in the court system etc.

Being on a dating site or dating someone does not fall into the definition of regulated activity so this site could not obtain enhanced disclosure checks through either the DBS or Disclosure Scotland.

They could ask people to have a basic DBS check as a condition of enrolling with the agency but this would just reveal current, unspent convictions and cautions.

So basically, this woman is crowdfunding for an idea which is not legally allowed. Sounds like she hasn't even done her basic research which indicates that probably you'd be better not backing her.

ComtesseDeSpair · 27/04/2021 20:31

Agree with others. The vast majority of abusers (particularly financial abusers, or those who use coercive control, or who have simply never had a partner report them to the police) don’t have a criminal record, so a background check is no guarantee of meeting a safe or nice person.

Meet people in public places for the first few dates. Get to know new people gradually. Build a relationship over time. Meet their friends. See what kind of person those around them think they are. Don’t do dumb stuff like invite them to meet your DC or move in with them after two months. These are all much better ways of keeping yourself safe and protecting yourself. Not failsafe, but then neither is checking whether they have a criminal record.

wonderingsoul · 27/04/2021 20:32

Those saying it means nothing.. They just havnt been caught... Well yes but that's no different to normal sites.

At least it would help weedle out those who have

And those that that way inclined I would doubt they would spend the extra money it would cost to be checked when there is a free dating sites as it is.

newnortherner111 · 27/04/2021 20:36

Even if it is allowed, as others have said, it just means that they have not been caught. After all, despite their serial misogyny, Ryan Giggs, Woody Allen and Boris Johnson would all pass such a check.

Carolduckingbaskin · 27/04/2021 20:47

@WisestIsShe

A clear dbs just means they haven't been caught yet! Obviously that's a light hearted comment but I'd worry that such a site had the potential to give false security about whomever you're chatting to/arranging to meet.
Yeah I also thought - what type of man would be attracted to this type of site when there are so many others out there.
OP posts:
cameocat · 27/04/2021 20:58

Exactly what @RaspberryCoulis said. Unless they're working with vulnerable adults or children Hmm then this isn't even legally possible!

MadeOfStarStuff · 27/04/2021 21:09

The difference is that some people would feel it was a safety net. And abusive men would do their best to convince them it means they’re harmless good guys because “look I have a DBS!”

Beatinghearts · 27/04/2021 21:16

I don’t think so no as having a clear dbs doesn’t mean a person is a good person. It only shows crimes where they have been caught to. I would imagine these many people who have committed crimes with a clear record.

Carolduckingbaskin · 27/04/2021 21:18

@MadeOfStarStuff

The difference is that some people would feel it was a safety net. And abusive men would do their best to convince them it means they’re harmless good guys because “look I have a DBS!”
I agree - I can’t help but think a certain “type” would be attracted to this type of site - and it wouldn’t be a good one.
OP posts:
shouldistop · 27/04/2021 21:19

They're only going to have a dbs if they have a certain job / voluntary role.

shouldistop · 27/04/2021 21:21

And think about how few sexual assaults and rapes are actually reported or prosecuted once reported, there must be tonnes of predators with clear records.

Happycat1212 · 27/04/2021 21:25

Well it would had been nice to know my ex had been to prison before I met him but yeh doesn’t sound workable

Pedalpushers · 27/04/2021 21:28

I don't think even the nicest of men would bother joining such a thing. A dating site that starts with checking you're not a predator probably doesn't do it for most.

ThetaSigma · 27/04/2021 21:32

I’m not sure how attractive it will be to men to join a dating site whose default position is that you’re a sex offender until proven otherwise.

TheLastLotus · 27/04/2021 21:37

Forget about me having a DBS check - I’d run a mile from any man who even entertained the thought of having a profile on the site. What does it say about them needing official proof to convince people that they’re not a criminal?

Also the sort of women who join will probably be the most vulnerable.

It’s like letting foxes loose in the henhouse!

VodselForDinner · 27/04/2021 21:38

I’m not in the UK so don’t know the answer to this but would be interested to know-

Are these checks carried out by a government agency? On that basis, I think it’d be a waste of public resources.

A dating site that does a credit check would be very helpful to lots of women on MN, though.

XenoBitch · 27/04/2021 21:59

Yeah, good luck with that. As has been mentioned a few times, only specific sectors can ask for records like this. And having a record does not mean you are un-datable. I have cautions, and one of my friends has been to prison.

Ariela · 27/04/2021 22:02

But a DBS also check they are who they say they are and in whatever names they might have changed their name from (if they have). Would wheedle out the dodgy types who go under a false name on a profile

BiBabbles · 27/04/2021 22:02

For me, it's less "too much effort" and more, alongside all the other good points already raised, that I'd assume they'd want a scan of it or similar which meant they could see it to verify and the DBS has every name I've used in any legal capacity, my birth date, place of birth, and my position within that specific organization that I got the DBS for.

I know that information is generally out there if someone wanted to dig enough, but I'm not comfortable handing that personal information over to a dating site's admin team.

Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 27/04/2021 22:59

@VodselForDinner

I’m not in the UK so don’t know the answer to this but would be interested to know-

Are these checks carried out by a government agency? On that basis, I think it’d be a waste of public resources.

A dating site that does a credit check would be very helpful to lots of women on MN, though.

No, they are done by a few private providers with a licence to access records, and there is a charge for them.

As someone else said, they are checks done under restricted circumstances where someone will be doing certain types of work only. So it won't be possible for a dating agency to get them done on clients. The certificate belongs to the individual though, so I guess they could only allow people with existing enhanced crbs for work to join up.

It's a false sense of security though.

Propagandalf · 27/04/2021 23:12

A few have pointed out that the OP meant DBS, but I've always known it as CRB.

Snickers will always be "Marathon" for me.

You still see "no DSS" on rooms / flats to-let adverts.

On topic, it's a bit 1984, but it's a good idea on principle. As long as the site doesn't misuse the info (Data Protection Act) or the site doesn't get hacked.

TheCrowening · 27/04/2021 23:14

Pointless even discussing this as it’s not legal and cannot happen, as some have said already.

Swipe left for the next trending thread