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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have kicked my father's dog

48 replies

Pinkmoon33 · 27/04/2021 12:59

Sorry the title sounds dramatic. I didn't hurt him or kick hard, I swiped my leg in his direction.

Context; I have posted here about my parents before as we have had a difficult relationship over the past year. I took my 7 month old over to see them recently. They have a dog, not trained and spoiled. My father is oblivious to the fact the dog needs training but says he's just a bad dog. When we went to see them the dog barked continuously at us and then later started jumping up at and snapping at my son's legs. It was quite alarming and I kicked the dog back. My father reprimanded me. My mother then later took the dog and quarantined him in another room. Aibu. We have been invited over again but I don't want to go.

OP posts:
CervixHaver · 27/04/2021 13:02

What do you mean exactly, when you say you kicked the dog back?
Fwiw I would've done the same and would've left immediately

WorraLiberty · 27/04/2021 13:04

You didn't kick the dog or you did?

Either way, of course YANBU to do whatever it took to protect your child.

I'm not sure what you're asking? Is it that you feel you did it with too much force or not?

DogsSausages · 27/04/2021 13:06

Theres no such thing as a bad dog, poor thing. I wouldnt visit them, your mum needs to take control, either arrange the dog to have training or have it rehomed to someone who actually cares about it.

JeanClaudeVanDammit · 27/04/2021 13:07

I wouldn’t visit again. And I’d kick a dog that went for my child without a second’s hesitation.

murbblurb · 27/04/2021 13:09

dont visit again while the dog is there. Next time it WILL be a bite.

no, it's not the dog's fault, but it is the dog that will attack. You could actually report it as dangerously out of control because it meets the criteria. Probably too late to retrain it, sadly.

tv86 · 27/04/2021 13:09

poor dog. It's your parents fault not the dogs. I wouldn't visit again until they have trained it.

Angrypregnantlady · 27/04/2021 13:12

Depends how you kicked. Would it hurt if I did the same thing to your belly? The sensible thing to do is have the dog in a separate room when you visit. If I was at someone's house and their dog was barking constantly at me I'd ask them to put it in a different room. If my dog was doing that I'd put her in a different room. Everyone was unreasonable to allow the situation to escalate.

CoolCrazy · 27/04/2021 13:12

You all sound fucking irresponsible to me. Your parents for not training their dog and allowing it around their grandchild. And you, for taking your child and dog to a place where an untrained dog was. As usual it’s the kids and dogs that suffer. The dog got kicked and your son could have been hurt and was possibly scared by the incident.

I think you all need to take a look at yourselves.

emilyfrost · 27/04/2021 13:13

YANBU. Never let your child be around their uncontrollable animal ever again; it’s not safe.

Lockheart · 27/04/2021 13:14

This sounds like overenthusiastic play rather than aggression, but even so your son could get hurt.

I don't think you were unreasonable but generally I would try to avoid kicking an animal as you risk escalating what sounds like play into self-defence. The dog doesn't know it's scaring you by jumping. If you were carrying your child I would have turned away for example. It's not the dogs fault it's never been trained properly.

If your parents refuse to train the dog then you'll have to insist they visit you and leave the dog at home or insist the dog is kept in a separate room when you visit.

ComDummings · 27/04/2021 13:14

@JeanClaudeVanDammit

I wouldn’t visit again. And I’d kick a dog that went for my child without a second’s hesitation.
This^
apooagnuandyou · 27/04/2021 13:14

@CoolCrazy

You all sound fucking irresponsible to me. Your parents for not training their dog and allowing it around their grandchild. And you, for taking your child and dog to a place where an untrained dog was. As usual it’s the kids and dogs that suffer. The dog got kicked and your son could have been hurt and was possibly scared by the incident.

I think you all need to take a look at yourselves.

bit harsh but I agree
Couchbettato · 27/04/2021 13:18

@CoolCrazy

You all sound fucking irresponsible to me. Your parents for not training their dog and allowing it around their grandchild. And you, for taking your child and dog to a place where an untrained dog was. As usual it’s the kids and dogs that suffer. The dog got kicked and your son could have been hurt and was possibly scared by the incident.

I think you all need to take a look at yourselves.

Yeah, I agree.

Don't put yourself or your child in that situation again OP.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 27/04/2021 13:19

Absolutely I would kick a dog that went for my child. Playing or not.

idontlikealdi · 27/04/2021 13:19

Well I wouldn't be going there again.

justasking111 · 27/04/2021 13:23

So little information age of dog, breed. Your mum isolated dog Which is good

hiredandsqueak · 27/04/2021 13:24

I think the time to put in boundaries was before you took your child to visit tbh so I wouldn't have taken a child to the house when the dog was loose and in the same room as your child. That way your child wouldn't have been scared and the dog wouldn't have had the opportunity to be have badly.
I have a dog who is well trained but I don't allow it in the room with dgs because he's a toddler and he might hurt her accidentally and she might snap if he did as she's an old dog. It's not a problem I have child gates so the dog can't access the room and when dgs is here for childcare I send the dog to a relative for the day so that they both get the what they need.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/04/2021 13:25

You would be very foolish and negligent to ever allow your child around that dog again. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

LaBellina · 27/04/2021 13:27

YANBU. I love dogs but if any dog would ever try to hurt my DS I would do whatever it takes to protect my child without a second thought. I wouldn’t go back there, sounds like a very unsafe environment.

Wolfiefan · 27/04/2021 13:27

Also agree with Cool.

loveheartss · 27/04/2021 13:33

YANBU

I love dogs but I love my child far more.

Spidey66 · 27/04/2021 13:42

I'm a dog owner.

My dog is a naturally calm and chilled dog who is actually good with kids. Loads of kids in my park love her and play with her, and she's fine with kids hugging her etc.

BUT she's a dog, and one day she may react negatively. Older kids I can explain to them 'dont pull her ears'' or whatever and they can understand. But if a parent with a toddler/baby asks if they can stroke my dog, I will keep her on a short leash and I would also expect the parent to be on high alert. Children your son's age don't understand and shouldn't be too close to a dog that's not on a lead, no matter how relaxed the dog is.

Your parents need to have the dog in a crate or another room when your son is around, or if you are happy to them to be ''introduced'' your parents need to do it with the dog on a leash so they can pull him back. Your son's safety has to come first.

Crappyfridays7 · 27/04/2021 13:43

My mum has a dog who isn’t into people, she had a difficult start in life. However compared to how she was when my mum took her on, she’s much much better but also not to be trusted fully. My mum does separate the dog from us when we visit. She’ll go in her covered crate elsewhere or in another room as it’s less stressful for the dog not to be with too many people and kinder for her. She’s ok with me so I’ll go and say hello and get cuddles. The kids don’t bothered as mum has another super friendly lovely boy and they know the girl likes her own space so they don’t go and find her etc she wouldn’t be good with our dog either.

If your parents separate the dog into another room then I’d still visit. But they really need to be careful if that’s how it behaves. I also would avoid your puppy being near him too. Our pup has never met my mums dog and our old dog wasn’t a fan of her but he lived there for a while so was ok. I think people need to be more sensible with dogs, train them, don’t leave them alone with kids or puppies and just understand why they behave in certain ways. Separating the dog from you and your son would’ve been much more sensible early on. If a dog gets to practise behaviours then they’ll continue. Ask your folks to lock it away or crate him/even stair gate or pen or don’t go back

JediGnot · 27/04/2021 13:50

@Pinkmoon33

Sorry the title sounds dramatic. I didn't hurt him or kick hard, I swiped my leg in his direction.

Context; I have posted here about my parents before as we have had a difficult relationship over the past year. I took my 7 month old over to see them recently. They have a dog, not trained and spoiled. My father is oblivious to the fact the dog needs training but says he's just a bad dog. When we went to see them the dog barked continuously at us and then later started jumping up at and snapping at my son's legs. It was quite alarming and I kicked the dog back. My father reprimanded me. My mother then later took the dog and quarantined him in another room. Aibu. We have been invited over again but I don't want to go.

I'd not go back once until your father is dog free - he is clearly not up to the task of owning a dog. Invite them to yours and make it 100% clear that they're not welcome through the front gate let alone the house if the dangerous dog is with them.

Arguably you should be reporting him to the RSPCA as well - it's not fair on the dog when he ends up getting put down after attacking someone, and it's even less fair on the people he'll end up attacking.

ANd that's before we get onto the fact that plenty of people are like me - they hate dogs, they are wary of dogs and they do not consent to dogs being aggressive OR FRIENDLY towards me. It's bad enough having fairly well trained dogs off leads fucking with me, let alone the ones with appalling owners.

blacksax · 27/04/2021 14:04

@tv86

poor dog. It's your parents fault not the dogs. I wouldn't visit again until they have trained it.
Perhaps the OP should kick her parents instead then. Oh wait - it wasn't one of her parents who was about to bite her baby.