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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have kicked my father's dog

48 replies

Pinkmoon33 · 27/04/2021 12:59

Sorry the title sounds dramatic. I didn't hurt him or kick hard, I swiped my leg in his direction.

Context; I have posted here about my parents before as we have had a difficult relationship over the past year. I took my 7 month old over to see them recently. They have a dog, not trained and spoiled. My father is oblivious to the fact the dog needs training but says he's just a bad dog. When we went to see them the dog barked continuously at us and then later started jumping up at and snapping at my son's legs. It was quite alarming and I kicked the dog back. My father reprimanded me. My mother then later took the dog and quarantined him in another room. Aibu. We have been invited over again but I don't want to go.

OP posts:

Wriggleout · 27/04/2021 14:09

@JeanClaudeVanDammit

I wouldn’t visit again. And I’d kick a dog that went for my child without a second’s hesitation.

Yep, me too. The most important being here is the child, not the dog (all dogs have the potential to cause harm no matter how well trained).

SeaTurtles92 · 27/04/2021 14:14

I'd kick any animal that went for my child.

I wouldn't go round there at all. I would never trust the dog. Don't actually ever trust the dog.

Xiaoxiong · 27/04/2021 14:17

I love dogs, I have a dog. If a dog is behaving aggressively towards me I would freeze and back away slowly but I assume you were in no position to do so with a baby in your arms. I think I would have done exactly the same as you and kicked a dog that started jumping up trying to bite my child if no one else was helping get the dog away from me.

Xmassprout · 27/04/2021 14:19

Nothing indicates that you used any unnecessary force. I think most people's instinct would be to protect their child in the instant. It's not like you did a running flying kick at the dog.

Prevention is definitely needed here though. Your child absolutely should not be around that dog, for both your child's and the dogs sake. A situation like that isn't going to end well.

GenuineViolet · 27/04/2021 14:23

My parents had a dog that was yappy and snappy and I never set foot in their house myself, let alone with my children.

Notjustanymum · 27/04/2021 14:52

@CoolCrazy, OP didn’t take “her” dog over, just her DS.
OP’s parents own the 1 dog referred to in the OP...
I agree the OP’s parents need to take a look at themselves, but the OP was literally just visiting them with their GC, how was she to know they wouldn’t think to control their dog while she was there?

LunaMuffinTop · 27/04/2021 15:00

You did the right thing OP don’t visit them until they have got their dog under control. I have 2 dogs and I would kick them if they where snapping at my child. Kids are more important than a dog.

Original poster

Pinkmoon33 · 27/04/2021 15:05

Thanks all for your views. The dog is yappy and spoiled but has never previously been aggressive. He is very hyper though. My father has been saying that the dog just needs time to get used to the baby but I don't agree that this makes everything okay. Ill definitely keep my distance or only go for short visits when the dog is kept in another room. I hated having to use any physical force against the dog but I guess I didn't have a choice and no one was doing anything

OP posts:

ViciousJackdaw · 27/04/2021 15:08

Perhaps the OP should kick her parents instead then. Oh wait - it wasn't one of her parents who was about to bite her baby

No, it was the dog. A dog who is not being cared for properly. A dog who clearly needs to attend a training class. That's on the owners.

CoolCrazy · 27/04/2021 15:18

OP didn’t take “her” dog over, just her DS.
OP’s parents own the 1 dog referred to in the OP...
I agree the OP’s parents need to take a look at themselves, but the OP was literally just visiting them with their GC, how was she to know they wouldn’t think to control their dog while she was there?

Just re read my post, I know the OP didn’t take her dog, copy/paste error? Not sure how it got in there.
OP knew her parents dog was untrained. She chose to visit and not insist the dog was taken to another room straight away. She should have had this arranged in advance with such a young baby. She chose to go without doing this and then stayed as things escalated. They’re all bloody ridiculous. Poor child, poor dog. It’s always the kids and dogs that suffer.

YoniAndGuy · 27/04/2021 15:34

I would just refuse to go full stop, as it sounds as if that might be the kick up the arse required to get your silly parents to strain their dog properly!

And your dad 'reprimanded' you?! Ohhh no I don't think so. I'd make it clear that you're an adult, he doesn't get to say anything except 'I'm really sorry' to you when it's a case of his badly trained dog hassling you, and if his answer to that includes the words 'in my house', you'll happily stay away from it... with your child, who is your responsibility to keep safe.

YoniAndGuy · 27/04/2021 15:34

Train... although straining the dog through a sharp colander might also be the answer, of course.

nottman · 27/04/2021 15:47

If I saw anyone kicking a dog I would kick them. Hard. It's not the dogs fault that he/she hasn't been brought up properly, it's the owners fault.

1forAll74 · 27/04/2021 16:04

If your parents have an untrained dog, who is not good around children, they should be prepared to put the dog in another room whilst you visit.. It's sad to have to do this, as a nice dog enjoys being part of a family.

Your immediate instinct, would be to shoo the dog away if it was a danger to your child, and rightly so., but it shouldn't be your responsibility; to keep the dog under control when you visit.

It's very unpleasant to visit family or anyone really, when they have a badly behaved dog, and sad for the dog who has to be pushed out, because it hasn't been properly trained.
If your Father just couldn't be bothered about what could happen with a snappy and barking dog. and a small child, then I would not like to visit him, especially if the dog is an older dog, and fairly untrainable now.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/04/2021 16:06

If I saw anyone kicking a dog I would kick them.

intheenddoesitreallymatter · 27/04/2021 16:19

@JeanClaudeVanDammit

I wouldn’t visit again. And I’d kick a dog that went for my child without a second’s hesitation.

This.

And I say that as a complete dog lover. A child's safety comes first, always.

I'm sorry your parents don't appreciate that.

5foot5 · 27/04/2021 16:23

If I saw anyone kicking a dog I would kick them. Hard. It's not the dogs fault that he/she hasn't been brought up properly, it's the owners fault.

Oh that's OK then @nottman, so the OP should just have taken no action and let the dog bite her babies legs I suppose?

And she did say in her OP
I didn't hurt him or kick hard, I swiped my leg in his direction.

Which sounds to me more like she was using her leg to fend the dog off because her arms were full holding the baby out of harm's way.

intheenddoesitreallymatter · 27/04/2021 16:23

@nottman

If I saw anyone kicking a dog I would kick them. Hard. It's not the dogs fault that he/she hasn't been brought up properly, it's the owners fault.

So if your dog lunged at a child and the parent kicked it away in defence you think an appropriate response would be to kick the person trying to protect their child rather than reprimanding the dog.

You have your priorities skewed.

No one is stating the dog is at fault, it is clearly the OP's parents but that does not negate the fact the dog was jumping and barking at a child and getting increasingly agitated possibly threatening to bite a literal baby. The kick was effective and perhaps the safest thing to do.

Ifonly86 · 27/04/2021 16:34

Yabu for taking a baby to a house with an untrained aggressive dog that you knew was like that. Yanbu for kicking it to protect your baby. However you’re all irresponsible, there’s no excuse for a dog to behave like that and I would refuse to visit until it’s corrected.

coffeecroissant · 27/04/2021 16:42

I honestly don't think you did anything wrong. Dangerous dog behavior needs to be addressed immediately. I once smacked my own beloved dog when she was about 6 months old and she bit me (I was 14 and she was just a puppy playing around, she didn't really hurt me). I felt very guilty and I am not proud of this, but for what it's worth she has never tried to bite another living thing (not even a rabbit). I know that I would not hesitate to do the same if any dog, even a chihuahua, bit a child in my care. However 'family friendly' a dog breed is, if bad behavior isn't corrected the consequences can be so awful. :( It's instinctive and you needed to protect your child. You did absolutely nothing wrong at all. The dog won't be traumatized by this, hopefully it will learn a good lesson.

PS I know that physical correction isn't advised by vets etc, all I can say is that as long as the owner is always calm and fair, and physical punishment is reserved for behaviors like biting, I really don't see the problem.

Bourbonic · 27/04/2021 16:46

What on earth were you thinking taking a baby to be around an untrained dog in the first place??

Daphnise · 27/04/2021 17:26

The child is more important than the dog, so don't go there again, and that way the dog also escapes the cruelty of being kicked.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 27/04/2021 19:37

Honestly I think all the adults in the room were at fault here. The whole situation should not have happened. Your parents should not have allowed the dog to work itself up to this degree of excitement. It should have been allowed to greet you then if it was leaping about like something demented it should have been shut in another room to calm down. It doesn't sound like aggression so much as rough play so removing it to another room to calm down and then allowing back in once settled would likely have helped.

You shouldn't have kicked it though as you risk escalating the situation and potentially provoking it to bite.

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