AIBU to have had it with reading diaries?

[cakefanatic]

Wondering which way this one will go - I’ll probably be flamed.

Family life is busy, it’s busy for all of us. But this morning I am totally sick and fed up of filling in the reading diary. I read with/to/listen to my kids read all the time. Every day, in fact, and have done since they were very small. It is totally mandated by school that we have to record in their reading diary every day and it’s the one thing that’s just slipping. With the laundry and the cooking, and the never ending activity drop offs and working full time I just never quite get round to it.

School make a big deal of it, and the kids get stressed, but honestly, unless there is a problem can’t they just ease up on the bloody diary? We’ve been filling it in religiously for years now but just lately I can’t handle it.

It just seems like one of a never ending stream of requests from school, including eleventy billion fancy dress costumes, donations to worthy causes, random pieces of fruit for maths class. I could go on...

YABU - reading diaries are crucial to life on Earth
YANBU - enough already, I read with my kids and that’s what is actually important

I'm a rebel. I tick and initial. If there's a comment it is "x has already had this book, please replace". They seem entirely fine with this. I even used to go in to support children behind on their reading comprehension. Of course I'd get burned at the stake if I volunteered these days. Schools no longer are at all interested in parents as we are clearly the worst possible thing to be around children.

I think DS gets a house point if he's read 3 times a week, 2 for 5 times a week and 3 for all 7 days. He does feel it's quite important to get 1 house point and he will get upset if we haven't filled it in to that extent but he isn't terribly motivated to get any extra.

So I guess there is pressure but there isn't quite as much as counting the number of reads or rewards for the clasS with the most.

The house points are very general rewards for any good behaviour etc and the teacher always seems to be able to spot some good behaviour to award them for just in time for them to get their class reward which seems like good teaching to me.

Our school sent home pissy little notes with a “your child has not logged on to x y or z, we are aware some log ins have gotten lost so here they all are.”
Followed with an email from school saying “just to remind all year 2 parents, when reading with your child, please record it in the homework diary, along with logging on to x, y and z. Each night”
This stuff takes over 1.5 hrs. It’s stupid

I can’t say I find it a chore but then DS’s school isn’t prescriptive about what you write. I just put “read whole book well” or “read pages 1-9, well read” etc. If there are particular sounds or words he struggled with then I try to put that too. DS is only in reception so maybe they’ll ask for more from us as he gets older! At the moment the teacher reads with him once a week at school and writes in the diary too, and sometimes the TA will do a second session at school.

I have a very dyslexic y5 and a possibly dyslexic y3. School still expects 5 entries in the diary per child per week. This feels very tired after going at it since 2015 and we've outlasted more than one government!

My priority is to instil a love of reading.
Slowly
Reading
Kipper
Biff
And
Chip
Aloud
Week
In
Week
Out
And dutifully writing a token comment in the diary is not achieving that. What my DCs read aloud is not what they've processed on the page. At the moment I'm reading to them and it's far more engaging, bonding and inspiring than the reading record approach. I'm reading books that they wouldn't access themselves (especially with DS1's visual stress)and that's a different but worthwhile benefit. DS2 follows next to me. They also read to themselves and are fortunate that we have a broad range of books to appeal to them. In our case, dutifully listening to reading and making meaningful comments in the diary can be counterproductive because it turns it into a tedious chore. Add in ASD and not having the spare mental energy that night...

School know that I'm involved and care. Prior to March 2020 I was in volunteering with reading/ swimming/ SEN interventions a few times per week. DS1's catalogue of diagnoses is because I'm on the ball and have put all the little clues together when most would overlook them.

Maybe I should write "I did a wonderfully reverent Slartibartfast voice. I could write so much about my awesome reading of THHGTTG, move over Stephen Fry. Life, don't talk to me about life.

I have no idea what I'm meant to put in DD's diary (school based nursery). They sent her home with a book bag, book and diary on day one and no instructions as to whether she should be returning it the next day/a week later/ever. We were sending her into school with her bag for a week before realising nobody else was - apparently the rule is that children come in with the bag whenever they've finished with the book. Now we've got a silent stand off over who is meant to fill out the diary - the teacher and I have both written in it, but if I don't write in it she sends DD home with the last two books again! It's driving me mad but there is no real way to communicate with the school except to shout through the gate at pick up time. Don't know any of the parents and with masks on/distancing there doesn't seem any way to just get chatting. It's driving me mad!

Sorry, this is only vaguely relevant but I needed somewhere to vent.

Bane of our life at one school, useful at a more sensible school.

I think it should become a right of passage, like some schools do pen licences. You are awarded it when you are ready to help your parents fill it in, and, when you are free reading you are given permission to fill it in yourself.

@ConfusedAdultFemale

Extremely glad DC’s school doesn’t do this. My kids love books but I am not sitting recording their expression etc ffs, if the school want to know how well my children can read they can listen themselves.

My problem with this is how removed it is from the situation we are facing.

Pre lockdown, the schools were already begging for volunteers to read and help out, anyone with any "skill" was invited to volunteer as much as they could in my kids school (science, maths, languages...).

With the pandemic, it's 1 teacher for 30 kids, most classes don't even have a full time TA! It's outrageous and completely unpractical especially for little ones, but we can't blame the actual teacher.

So once you decide to put your child to state school, you have to accept that you have to involved.

You have to accept that your child will not be the priority for the teacher, they can't be, so the one encouraging and practicing their reading has to be you.

It's not unreasonable to be asked to keep track of books you or they read.

UnconsideredTrifles

Genuine question.. why don't you ASK the nursery? Phone or email...

When things are not clear, why not trying to find out? I'd understand better if you decide to ignore full stop.

My priority is to instil a love of reading. ...And dutifully writing a token comment in the diary is not achieving that.

That was my issue with it all - I was doing dancing bears and apple and pears work with them to improved the decoding and encoding skills then also reading to them, getting audio books, comic books - fully decodable books buying and hiring from on-line library to try and get them to love reading - and we then we had boring as fuck and often not decodable at their level books to read every night over three kids.

It was an often unhelpful additional task - plus diary that never seemed to be looked at needed doing.

Our school are excellent. Only expect you to write what they read. Any comments get a next day answer.

And I’m genuinely horrified by the number of parents who are ‘too busy’ to get their Infant School aged DC to read to them and then are surprised that other DC are streets ahead in reading. To quote DS1 (Y3) earlier this year ‘lots of the class have been doing catch up reading, Mum, apparently it’s needed to allow them to access the curriculum’ (goodness knows who he was quoting!). If DS1 didn’t read to me how would he learn what words like ‘visceral’ meant?

It sounds a nightmare OP, and I say that as someone who adores reading - but what a way to make it into a chore!

What would happen if you literally just refused to do it anymore?

Ah this used to wind me up too! DD was a ridiculously early reader - reading Roald Dahl etc by Y1 - but the school insisted she read their entire programme of books, which she wasn't the slightest bit interested in.

My son is in year 5 and an excellent reader. He gets notes aimed at him but really for me because I won't record his reading in the holidays and I didn't during lockdown! I do it in term time but that's enough!

@MMMarmite my children will be penalised by not being rewarded. And the thought of the reading diary not being done causes massive anxiety.

I think that’s my biggest problem with it. That it’s a task assigned to me, but the onus is on them.

I'm really surprised you are all still using reading diaries, DDs school stopped the diary thing because of covid (didn't want things being passed to and from school, they are quarantine reading books etc).

I hear you.

But i let my kids fill it in themselves.

Doodle. Mathletics. Reading ra rah rah

It does all feel too much at times

@apooagnuandyou I’m sorry your local authority have stretched your schools so thin, that must be extremely difficult to cope with. I guess we are lucky here that our local authority school isn’t in this position. Both my children’s classes have TA’s, DC2 has 1-1 support too as well as a massive amount of learning help and resources, even during the pandemic. The school also understands that making something regimented will make it a chore children dig their heals in about. All of my children love books, stories and reading.

We haven't seen a reading record since Covid either. Ours were once a week and even that was tedious (there's only so many times you can say "DC read well" "This book is well within DC's capabilities" "DC enjoyed this".)

Daily just seems OTT (and the teachers will be perfectly aware of who reads daily/ most days and who doesn't).

Essentially the comments amount to:

Read well and book right level
Found book too hard/ easy
Child enjoyed / didn’t enjoy book.

I would initial each day but add comments at end of book only or weekly if that makes more sense.

As someone who checks it daily, we can usually tell who isn't reading at home with rare exceptions. But the communication helps. If I see a child reads every day, I would move them up a band and stretch them because I know they have support. Whereas the non home readers stay on the same band for months or years because they get a max of two five minute reads per week. And it is soul crushing sending home notes because we KNOW the non readers will ignore them anyway. Don't take it all personally. We have the rules in place so that Ofsted can see we are trying to get families engaged rather than to punish you for admin.

I don't see why the child can't write it themselves and then you sign and date it. What on earth is the school going to do to sanction you if you don't follow the rules? If you must compromise then have a few 2 word comments on rotation e.g. "read fluently" "tried hard" etc.

But I'd be reluctant to do that because I think pressure for comments in the reading book is doing the opposite of what's intended. You end up writing something just to fill the space, whereas surely what is wanted is (a) Confirmation that they're reading at home (only needs initials and date, possibly page numbers), (b) Feedback on problem areas or things that are going well (not needed every night) and (c) Showing interest in your child's reading (but compulsory daily comments might take away the positive impact of an occasional genuine "Well done DC for persevering with some difficult words!")

Yes!! Tedious and sth I always put off until the eve before it's due in.

I don't see why the child can't write it themselves

because for the first year or 2, most children don't know how to yet!

ConfusedAdultFemale

It's ridiculous, and I don't know how teachers are expected to cope without any help. Obviously they do, but it's not good for anyone.

Reception should have at least 2 TA!