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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have had it with reading diaries?

170 replies

cakefanatic · 27/04/2021 09:29

Wondering which way this one will go - I’ll probably be flamed.

Family life is busy, it’s busy for all of us. But this morning I am totally sick and fed up of filling in the reading diary. I read with/to/listen to my kids read all the time. Every day, in fact, and have done since they were very small. It is totally mandated by school that we have to record in their reading diary every day and it’s the one thing that’s just slipping. With the laundry and the cooking, and the never ending activity drop offs and working full time I just never quite get round to it.

School make a big deal of it, and the kids get stressed, but honestly, unless there is a problem can’t they just ease up on the bloody diary? We’ve been filling it in religiously for years now but just lately I can’t handle it.

It just seems like one of a never ending stream of requests from school, including eleventy billion fancy dress costumes, donations to worthy causes, random pieces of fruit for maths class. I could go on...

YABU - reading diaries are crucial to life on Earth
YANBU - enough already, I read with my kids and that’s what is actually important

OP posts:
Anoisagusaris · 27/04/2021 10:33

Use a tick mark, initial and date. Done.

Once a week add more detail. Ridiculous to have to do it everyday. A child’s standard of reading isn’t going to vary on a daily basis.

LimeCoconut · 27/04/2021 10:33

@apooagnuandyou

LimeCoconut

what you could do, is ASK at the beginning of each year what exactly is supposed to be in the diary - and possibly complain if they expect a full essay which is unreasonable. And frankly, most of the class will agree with you Grin

Thanks, I'd hope that if they give diaries out they do explain to parents what is expected from them!
apooagnuandyou · 27/04/2021 10:35

Also maybe if they tried asking the child or the parent personally about the reading rather than the generic snotty email they might get a better response.

it might work in a small school or private school when you have a group of 10 or 15 kids, not so much in a class of 30!

Alwaysandforeverhere · 27/04/2021 10:37

@apooagnuandyou

Also maybe if they tried asking the child or the parent personally about the reading rather than the generic snotty email they might get a better response.

it might work in a small school or private school when you have a group of 10 or 15 kids, not so much in a class of 30!

But you only need to ask the ones who diary hasn’t been filled in. My point was rather than a snotty generic email because I’ve missed a week ask my child how their reading was/did they read/did they like their book this week.

If you’ve got while classes not filling in the diary the issue is no sod like the diary 😅

MiddleClassProblem · 27/04/2021 10:37

Ours you have a few columns to fill in: date, book name and pages read, comment, new phonic sounds and words to practice.

So jealous of people who can just sign it!

apooagnuandyou · 27/04/2021 10:38

My kids barely read the school books to be honest, but they are massively privileged as they have an unlimited book budget and can read anything they fancy at a reasonable reading level for them.

School books are a chance for other kids to actually have a physical book to read.

It's a real shame the funding is so poor the schools can't have decent libraries, and a member of staff in charge of said library, but there you go.

The school system is genuinely bad, but you can't blame the teachers who are dealing with what little resources they have.

Babycakes39 · 27/04/2021 10:39

As a Ta, it helps so much to know that a child is reading at home to an adult. Even if it's a signature. Reading every night, even for 5 mins helps them improve so much. It amazes me how many parents don't listen to their children read and then wonder why their kids are behind. 🤷🏼‍♀️ If you already listen to them, it doesn't take 2 seconds to sign the book. It's your children's education and part of a parents job. School do enough!

LouNatics · 27/04/2021 10:39

@Demelza82

I love doing my son's reading diary but then I don't see supporting my son's education and the work of a school trying to improve themselves as a chore.
Well, honestly I don’t MIND doing it, in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t take very long. However, I have now been filling in reading diaries daily, every day, including all weekends and school holidays, and through lockdown, for the last twelve years solid. I love reading, and I love reading with my DC, resenting the reading diary doesn’t means I’m not supporting their education.

Reading diary being filled in equals treats at end of term for DC at their school. Missing even one day is very, very bad. It’s literal and emotional blackmail. Uninterested or distracted parent who only scribbles in it once a month? No treats for you, small child! The class with the most “reads” is announced in assembly every week for extra parental guilt points.

YANBU OP, I’ll be glad to see the back of the reading diaries.

Nith · 27/04/2021 10:39

I wonder how much they actually check? I'd be tempted to slip in random bizarre comments to see if they do.

I'm slightly cynical after experience with DS who turned out to be mildly dyslexic. I was dutifully recording my concerns about his struggles in the reading record and getting no response. I also pointed out that because his books were getting changed very slowly he was bored stupid reading the same thing over and over, and they weren't getting a fair picture of what was going on because he ended up learning the books off by heart. Then I started getting jolly comments from the TA along the lines of "MiniNith recites this book very well!" so I sent a rather tart response along the lines that maybe if they changed the book more often he wouldn't learn it and they would have a better handle on his true reading level, and that seemed to wake them up a bit. Mind you, the fact that I was a governor might have helped Wink.

Original poster
cakefanatic · 27/04/2021 10:49

@LouNatics wondering if we are at the same school Grin or whether there is more than one who uses such tactics to shame those kids whose parents are not as reading diary compliant as we should be.

OP posts:
Cheekyweegobshite · 27/04/2021 10:49

Genuine question for teachers - what do schools do with the information from reading diaries? How does the information that a child has/hasn't read every night (or at least a record of this) get used? Does it mean that the teacher will prioritise reading with those not practising at home?

Maggiesfarm · 27/04/2021 10:50

Never had 'reading diaries' when mine were at school. We all read a lot anyway and there were some set books.

I don't blame you for being fed up with it. I bet you're not the only parent who is. I hate the idea of policing parents.

However the diaries were probably introduced because some don't bother very much.

Ceara · 27/04/2021 10:51

Covid (fomite paranoia) killed the reading diary at DS's school after lockdown 1. I danced merrily on its grave and would be overjoyed never to see one again.

We read every night and love that time. I resent having to do parent busywork by way of "proof". If the teachers had time to read comments and to give feedback via the reading diary I would very happily engage with it, but they have far too much else to do. So it's only purpose is a tick box exercise, because they don't trust us to be getting on with it. Infantilises the parents and undermines the parent/school relationship. And I doubt the reading diary makes any difference at all to whether or not parents read with their children.

Ceara · 27/04/2021 10:51
  • its
LimeCoconut · 27/04/2021 10:51

@Babycakes39

As a Ta, it helps so much to know that a child is reading at home to an adult. Even if it's a signature. Reading every night, even for 5 mins helps them improve so much. It amazes me how many parents don't listen to their children read and then wonder why their kids are behind. 🤷🏼‍♀️ If you already listen to them, it doesn't take 2 seconds to sign the book. It's your children's education and part of a parents job. School do enough!
Genuine question here: how does it help you? If you discover a child IS being read to, what does that help you to do or change? If you realise a child isn't being read to, I guess you contact the parents and try persuade them to do it? What if they don't?

I get that it's nice to know and I agree that parents take on a huge role in their children's education. But how does it actually help in any real practical way?

MildredPuppy · 27/04/2021 10:52

Buy a stamp that says 'i read with my child today'

LimeCoconut · 27/04/2021 10:53

@LouNatics that's genuinely awful. How can they morally justify openly giving treats to children for something their parent has done, and excluding other kids whose parents haven't done it? It doesn't make any sense and rewards kids for something they haven't actually done. What a weird message to send. If it was rewarding the kids for actually filling it out then fine.

sadpapercourtesan · 27/04/2021 10:55

I'd be furious if I were you, and I can't imagine she would want to see that either! It's a really weird thing to do.

sadpapercourtesan · 27/04/2021 10:55

wrong thread, sorry Blush

Cheekyweegobshite · 27/04/2021 10:55

@MildredPuppy

Buy a stamp that says 'i read with my child today'
I like the idea of a signature stamp too. I was going to buy one for the secondary school homework diaries until my kids told me that they'd been forging my signature for years Shock
Thurlow · 27/04/2021 10:56

I hate them too. DD9 is a prolific reader, she'll read the bloody cereal packet just to have words. She doesn't read out loud to us and we rarely read to her as she just wants to read herself. She's in the top book band in her class, I've got no concerns at all. I do sign it when I remember, and she only fills it in so she doesn't get a detention. But it's a pain, and there's plenty of other areas of her school work I think we should be focusing on, not the bloody reading journal.

Sirzy · 27/04/2021 10:59

I just write “to page 68” and the date.

Best thing we did though was stop the school reading books and let him pick his own book to use as his school reader

Goodtohear · 27/04/2021 11:01

When mine were young I used to write in once a week what they'd done for the week - 3 dc x1 a week was better than 3dcx7 a week and still gave the same information to the teacher.

Babycakes39 · 27/04/2021 11:05

@LimeCoconut it means we can read with the ones who aren't being read to and also approach the parents who aren't to try and gently remind them to read with their child. I always read any comments and always leave comments for the parent to show they have read in school. The ops school does seem a bit militant about it all though! I'm in foundation so we really try to get the children and parents into that routine of reading every night but sadly many parents don't 😢 xx

firstimemamma · 27/04/2021 11:06

Takes less than 30 seconds. I used to be a teacher and when a parent told me she was struggling to fill it in and asked for advice, I said she could just tick the box with the correct date in.