To be irritated by people who bang on about where they’re from

[Notfromthevalleys]

Couple of women where I work will NOT stop talking about how they’re from The Valleys (south Wales)
“Haha it’s the valley girl in me”
“Haha you can tell I’m from the valleys”
“You can take the girl out of the valley but you can’t take the valley out of the girl”

There is nothing remotely different or valley-esque about them as far as I can see, other than the fact that they keep harping on about the valleys as though being from there is some sort of pedigree.

There’s also a bloke who will not shut up about being a “Swansea lad”.

Is it a south walian thing?

I am from mid Wales and we all work in mid Wales so not like they’re a million miles away from home.

It’s like the Oxbridge people who name drop their college all the time. That’s annoying too, but I at least it’s a genuine achievement to go to Oxbridge.

I understand that people’s community and identity is important to them, but there’s just no need to bring it into everything.

Anyone else come across this and AIBU to let it grate on me so much?!

It's not just Wales. I have a good mate from Yorkshire. He attributes even the smallest everyday things he does to being Yorkshire "oh I always have a cup of tea at this time - it's a Yorkshire thing'. Another friend does something similar about Belfast. But to be fair, I attribute my love of spicy food to being from South London.

Agreed! I think it's anything where people base their personality on something superficial - be it they're background, a sport they play, their looks, cultural facets, social class, hobby etc.
I think people sometimes use it as a social crutch - when you can't think of anything to say you can fall back on the topic you know about, or make a practiced joke that will not offend anyone because the subject is yourself!
Almost like a conversation piece.
I think it can grate slightly because the person doesn't have the skills to talk about something else or something new, and is making it about them. Unintentionally of course

@LBXXX

What I find slightly annoying is people that claim to be from somewhere they aren’t, just because their grandparents lived there for a short time

For example, where i am from ALOT of young people 20-30 have a fascination with claiming they’re from Ireland, when they aren’t. They were born here, so were their parents. But because their grandparents lived there as children and came to England when they were young they think they’re full fledged Irish.

Be proud of your heritage of course but I just find it very odd when there people claim to not be English at all when they were born and bred here and haven’t stepped foot in Ireland

You've just described my DC. All their grandparents come from Ireland but DH and I were born in London. D.C. were born in the UK and despite spending several weeks a year in Ireland have been U.K. residents all their lives (apart from one who studied in Dublin for 5 years). They have Irish nationality and travel on Irish passports. It really pisses me off when people say they aren't Irish.

My BFF was born in Germany and lived there for 9 years because her dad was working out there. She still speaks fluent German. It doesn't make her German. Being born in a country doesn't dictate your ethnicity, nor does living in another country. Would you tell a person whose family came here from Nigeria / India that they can't describe themselves as African /Asian? In situations like that people can decide for themselves how to identify, legally and culturally.

I knew an Anglican minister who dragged the fact he had worked in Canada into every sermon. And another who did the same with the minor public school to which he had been chaplain.

Being from the Valleys isn't something to brag about. I only really tell people I'm Welsh when they can't place my accent or if it's relevant to the conversation.

Americans - my impression is that they are all wildly patriotic about their country (which is a good thing, i envy them that tbh) while at the same time desperately trying to make a personal connection with somewhere else miles and miles away and so many generations ago that it's irrelevant

If i went back as far as that i'd have Swedish, French and (Northern) English. Not interested. Both my parents were Londoners and i was born in London so i'm a Londoner and that's that.

I've lived in the midlands for 22 years now (nearly as long as London!) but i Londoner i happily remain. Do i mention it? No but my accent marks me out in the villages round here :)

When I was at school in Hereford many years ago, I learned that under an ancient law, it is legal to kill a Welshman there (albeit only in the cathedral close on a Sunday with a longbow from exactly 12 yards).

Given that I was born in Llandrindod Wells, I opted to keep rather quiet about my ancestry.

Glaswegians can be guilty of this. I grew up on the west coast of Scotland, half of my family are Glaswegian. My family are lovely, but there is a certain type of Glaswegian, usually white and male, who will bang on and on about being a Galsgae boy. They invariably all claim to be working class too, even if they have had very comfortable lives - I know a Bearsden accent when I hear one!

I think for a lot of people, where they're from is a big part of their identity and they don't want to lose it.

In my experience the Scots are the worst for this behaviour. They bang on about how great their country is, how much better it is than England, how the scenery is so beautiful, how much they miss living there.

But they choose not to live there!

I live in Norfolk and I'm from Essex. I don't tend to mention it unless someone mentions my accent and that I'm obviously not a Norfolk girl. Proud of where I'm from but I don't bang on about it.

I came to the UK as a baby and get asked constantly where I’m from. I envy people who never get asked!

@HalfCakeHalfBiscuit

How can you tell if you work with someone who is ex-forces?

Because they tell you ALL THE FUCKING TIME

Your experience in a foxhole in Afghanistan bears no relation to your tedious job in accounts. STFU

This is so tedious, most ex forces have a "look" about them so it's not like everyone doesn't know by looking, they really dont need to say it out loud. I actively dont do this, and when people ask where I'm from I'm very vague. I think just one person in many years has guessed that im ex forces. However I was never in a war, so nothing really happened to speak of, could be very different if you were in a foxhole in Afghanistan.

I was born and raised in Swansea. I don't remember being from The Valleys ever being anything to shout about 😜

@DodoApplet

When I was at school in Hereford many years ago, I learned that under an ancient law, it is legal to kill a Welshman there (albeit only in the cathedral close on a Sunday with a longbow from exactly 12 yards).

Given that I was born in Llandrindod Wells, I opted to keep rather quiet about my ancestry.

I smell a Dan Brown book 😀

Totally agree with the OP, and "professional northerner" is a good term.
I've also met people from Ireland and Scotland who do the same. It's really tiresome. The ones I have come across who feel the need to announce where they're from all the time do nothing to dispel negative stereotypes, either - in fact they tend to reinforce them.

@Confusedandshaken calm down love you clearly didn’t read my post. I said that these people I speak of have never set foot in Ireland. Your DC clearly have spent some time their however I’d still consider them English and not irish

And yes if someone is born in the uk they are English in my opinion with whatever heritage they have as their background

You don’t like it? I don’t care I stated my opinion and you stated yours

My partners grandparents were born in Ireland and his other side Jamaica. Does it make him Irish or Jamaican? No he’s English with Irish and Jamaican heritage

@Angrypregnantlady

I think for a lot of people, where they're from is a big part of their identity and they don't want to lose it.

That’s rather sad, don’t you think? When the ‘identity’ someone has constructed from their place of origin is such a big deal to them that they have to go on about it and build their entire persona around it.

As @LonstantonSpiceMuseum noted upthread, the tendency to mention your origins regularly is probably linked to having no other conversation.

@TheRebelle

What’s worse is English people with a “Scottish” surname who get married in Kilts and give their children Scottish names when the closest they are to being Scottish is their 5 x great grandfather once ate some haggis. 🙄

I know a couple that did this! They actually went to Scotland to get married, for the first time, because one of their dads had lived there til he was 4. He was fervent his Scottishness and the "clan" he was descended from, so it was a bit embarrassing to be in Scotland with them, English as anything, surrounded by actual Scots. Kilts, bagpipes, the whole set up, despite the fact they'd never been there before and had a negligent connection to the place.

I think the FIL drove it, as he's bit obsessive about his place of origin too, and insisted his son keep his very Scottish surname. He also claimed to be devastated about Prince Philip, because of the Edinburgh connection. Didn't have the heart to tell him....

If you were born and bred in the UK yet described yourself as being Jamaican, you’d be accused of not integrating into British society!

This is a fairly common thing in Ireland between the counties. It's mainly just banter though, I have a friend that's from dublin and I'm from cork and we would slag each other off about our respective counties quite frequently. Same all over Ireland especially when the gaa is being played. I'm in the uk and I'm quite proud of being Irish but I don't ever need to drop it into conversation, my strong accent makes it very clear where I'm from😂😂😂

I do find it quite a helpful social cue; if your personality and conversation is centric on your place of origin, then you're probably not all that interesting.

@MizMoonshine

Being from the Valleys isn't something to brag about. I only really tell people I'm Welsh when they can't place my accent or if it's relevant to the conversation.

Well that’s rather the point isn’t it? The people doing it - bragging about coming from somewhere considered less aspirational- are doing so because they want to present themselves as more authentic than anyone else in the room, or as a working class hero who has escaped their humble origins by reason of their own brilliance. Yawn.

I get irritated by that too if it goes on for too long. My mum used to say 'as a Londoner' when she moved in the mid (which I'd reminder her of when she started).

I used to work with a couple of people from Yorkshire who dropped that into the conversation regularly...'you wouldn't find us Yorkshiremen/women doing that' or 'we'd do it differently in Yorkshire'. One had lived in Iran for 20 years then moved back to England and settled in....SW London. The other had lived in London for 15 years. Anyway, one day we were having a conversation in a pub and they were comparing London unfavourably to Yorkshire (again) and I'd had enough. I just said 'why are you living here then?', 'well, work of course'. 'Best not bite the hand that feeds you then eh?' then walked off. Bloody annoying. If you're living somewhere, working there and have no intention of moving 'back home' then stop harping on about how great the place you came from is in comparison. It's not, or you'd be living there.

My DH moved away from Scotland when he was in his thirties and lived abroad. When he finally came back to the UK he moved to London as he felt he'd 'been there, done that' with Scotland. He has a Scottish accent but other than that you'd not know he was a Scot. When he's asked where he's from he says the town we now live in - cos that's where his home is. If pressed he'll say 'born in Scotland, happy where I am'.

I moved from London to a lovely market town and the only time my background comes up is when someone asks if I'm born and bred or moved in. Because this is my home - London's where fate had me originate from.

All regions do this.
Scousers
Brummie you name it.
I have a friend who bangs on about being a 'Geordie lass' all the time.
It's just what people do.
Stop being so bitter!