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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ignored Breast Cancer For 1 Year

53 replies

PixiePopp · 25/04/2021 18:46

My mum just diagnosed had a lump she ignored for a year. Eventually she has had a biopsy and it's been confirmed as breast cancer. It's 2cm and we are waiting to find out if there is lymph nodes involved.

AIBU to be annoyed she left it for for so long? And has anyone known of anyone who has ignored breast cancer for 12 months and been ok? I can't lose her.

OP posts:

Justwingingit2005 · 25/04/2021 18:53

I'm no expert but there are slow growing cancers and aggressive cancers. There isn't one type of breast cancer there are many. If lymph nodes are positive then that means its already started to spread.
You need to wait for the biopsy results to determine the type of cancer, if lymph nodes are positive/negative and then possibly a scan.

GrumpyHoonMain · 25/04/2021 18:54

Just focus on the present for now. BC treatment has improved substantially so even higher grade cancers can result in remission.

toomuchfaster · 25/04/2021 18:55

Yabu to be annoyed at her ignoring it. People are entitled to manage their health how they are fit.

Coulddowithanap · 25/04/2021 19:02

I think your mum needs the support to get through this rather than your anger.
I can imagine it's very scary finding a lump.

TruJay · 25/04/2021 19:02

I know someone who ignored it for about 9 months. It was very bad by the time she sought help. She got very ill and then she completely turned around and is cancer free now and doing absolutely fine.
She says she was an idiot to ignore it and now tells everyone to check their boobs regularly and what to look out for.
Her youngest was only two at the time and it was so upsetting.

Sorry this is happening

CeliaCanth · 25/04/2021 19:03

My mum ignored hers until she started bleeding from her nipple. She was treated with drugs which shrank the tumour then when they were no longer effective had a mastectomy aged 91. She’s still with us.
Hope your mum has a good outcome. I was aghast that mine had ignored it for so long. She said she was too busy caring for my dad who had Alzheimer’s...

Original poster

PixiePopp · 25/04/2021 19:05

It's Grade 2 so not super aggressive I don't think. And no obvious sign of it in the lymph nodes. I am not mad really just scared. Is 2cm big for breast cancer?

OP posts:

MrsPnut · 25/04/2021 19:08

@PixiePopp

It's Grade 2 so not super aggressive I don't think. And no obvious sign of it in the lymph nodes. I am not mad really just scared. Is 2cm big for breast cancer?

Not really, mine was 9cm by 4cm when it was found, it was long and smooth and just felt like a breast lobe when I was showering etc. Mine was found during a CT scan following another cancer being diagnosed.

Original poster

PixiePopp · 25/04/2021 19:18

@MrsPnut I hope you are doing ok now.

OP posts:

MrsPnut · 25/04/2021 19:22

I’m doing ok, I keep showing up for treatment and bitching on the cancer support thread.

bloodywhitecat · 25/04/2021 19:22

It has been an incredibly difficult year for everyone, lots of people tried hard to ignore lumps/bumps and symptoms so please try hard not to be angry with her for ignoring the lump. Even with lymph node involvement there is still hope and treatments for breast cancer are really good these days.

Original poster

PixiePopp · 25/04/2021 19:23

I just don't see how you can ignore breast cancer for a year and it still be at an early stage when it's found. But maybe I will be wrong.

OP posts:

partyatthepalace · 25/04/2021 19:31

Sorry you are going through this OP. A friend of mine’s mum ignored it until ‘her breast felt like broccoli’, she’s still around 20 years later. It may well be the slow growing sort - fingers crossed.

CommanderBurnham · 25/04/2021 19:36

It can. And unfortunately it's really common for it to be ignored.

My mum ignored hers for a couple of months. I was initially angry but didn't have a go as I'm just glad she piped up. It's not the time for berating, just tell her that hopefully she's got away with it and next time she knows what to do.

LuluJakey1 · 25/04/2021 19:36

My mum had ignored a nipple becoming inverted for several years. I noticed it when she was staying with us unwell. I took her to the GP, she was seen at the hospital and diagnosed. Turned out there were two lumps behind it. Oncologist told me it was very slow growing and she would be fine. Had a mastectomy. No lymph gland involvement. No further treatment except Tamoxifen. Died many years later of old age.

ChazP · 25/04/2021 19:37

I understand your frustration - my mum ignored what was obviously a suspicious looking mole on her back. When she showed me I couldn’t believe she’d left it so long. But I’m pretty sure your mum has beaten herself about leaving it so long as much as my mum did, so try and go easy on her. (I’m not suggesting for a moment that you’ve let her know that you’re upset with her).

I don’t have experience of breast lumps, but treatment has progressed so much that hopefully your mum will be ok. Fingers crossed for you both

LostArcher · 25/04/2021 19:38

Nope, 2cm and grade two is very doable. If it is bog stNdard invasive ductal it is the cancer, if you HAVE to have a cancer, to have. Very treatable and likely to be lumpectomy followed bt radiotherapy. When I had mine, one of the things I found most scary was people's instant reaction that cancer meant you were going to die, and that it was all going to be awful (I have to say, it wasn't pleasant but actually my friend who has a chronic heart condition has it way worse than me). This sense that it is a 'battle' is bollocks. You have something; the most important person is the patholgist, followed by the surgeon and oncologist. Macmillan nurses are lovely although variable and incredibly busy so the whole phone us and we are on the end of a line is also bollocks. Honestly, the path will be rocky but your mum needs you not to panic and be a rock.

ElleDubloo · 25/04/2021 19:38

It must be very slow growing if it’s only 2cm after being noticeable for a year. Great that there are no nodes. Fingers crossed for a good outcome, OP! (Oncologist)

Redannie118 · 25/04/2021 19:40

Hi op my bc was 5cms and grade 3 when it was found last year and im fine :) its always a worry but in BC terms 2cms is small, and obvs the smaller the better. If its any consolation my consultant told me the reason you are kept under review for 5 years after a diagnosis is generally it takes 3-5 years for a tumour to grow big enough to be found, so in theory she could have had it for 3 years before it was even felt. I found comfort in that statistic as you always blame yourself for not noticing/ getting treated earlier. Hope shes ok.

queenatom · 25/04/2021 19:44

As others have said, there are so many variants of breast cancer and they grow at different speeds. When my mum was diagnosed (at 40) the doctor said they reckoned her lump could’ve been growing for the best part of a decade. It was still pretty small - she had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy, it’s now 20 years later and no further issues. Hope all goes well for your mum and try not to be too annoyed with her - what’s done is done.

Yellredder · 25/04/2021 19:52

My aunty who’s in her nineties refused invasive treatment for hers and has been living with it for the past couple of years.

Original poster

PixiePopp · 25/04/2021 20:10

@ElleDubloo

It must be very slow growing if it’s only 2cm after being noticeable for a year. Great that there are no nodes. Fingers crossed for a good outcome, OP! (Oncologist)

Thank you. They don't know about nodes yet, the scan was clear but they said it will take an operation to be sure. That's the part that's concerning us all at the moment.

OP posts:

Mmn654123 · 25/04/2021 20:13

@PixiePopp

I just don't see how you can ignore breast cancer for a year and it still be at an early stage when it's found. But maybe I will be wrong.

Yes it’s possible. It’s a risky strategy and not to be recommended obviously.

Some cancers are aggressive and the others less so. The reason we have rapid referrals for potential cancer is because at that point you don’t know which is which and if it’s aggressive, a few weeks can make a difference.

If you are fortunately enough to get a less aggressive cancer than it’s possible it won’t have spread further in a year.

Hope your mum is ok.

Thatisnotwhatisaid · 25/04/2021 20:14

Hope she’s ok. My best friend’s Mum ignored hers for a few months and when she eventually went it had spread. She had chemo and a mastectomy but sadly it returned a year later and had spread to her bones so she died. She was only in her 50s so very sad.

Glad to hear so many positive stories in this thread though, I hope your Mum is another.

LtJudyHopps · 25/04/2021 20:18

Honestly cancer is so unpredictable there’s no point wondering you’ll drive yourself mad. My mum went to the doctors as soon as her symptom showed up (very obvious one) and started treatment within a month. It wasn’t a high grade but by the time we were preparing for a mastectomy (around 6 months later) it was found to have spread and was secondary - no longer curable. No idea if it had already spread before treatment and we’ll never know but the wondering and not knowing does my head in.
Fingers crossed for a good outcome for your mum

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