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AIBU?

To want to stay part time

48 replies

Firsttimemummy33 · 25/04/2021 13:21

Currently work three days a week, have two primary aged children. I’ve been offered a new job which is full time and it’s a job I’d really like. I have been coasting since having the children and am not really enjoying my job that much anymore. The new job is closer to home, more senior and more money but would mean working 5 days a week. I really enjoy having two days a week to myself at the minute and also the thought of not doing the school run which I couldn’t do very often in the new job is upset me! I really want this job but am scared to commit to full time work again. We could do with the extra money, am I being silly and lazy to be close to refusing because I want to stay part time?

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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SamMil · 25/04/2021 13:24

Could you ask if they'd consider part-time?

When I applied for my current job, it was advertised as a full time position. I was doing 3 days a week at previous job and when I got the offer I asked if they would consider part-time. We compromised on 4 days a week in the end. No harm in asking!

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DungeonKeeper · 25/04/2021 13:26

Do you think there’s room for dropping hours later on? Or condensing hours?

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osbertthesyrianhamster · 25/04/2021 13:27

I think it's lazy, selfish and shooting yourself in the foot. Your pension contributions can be greater, your earning power, chance of promotion. Life is uncertain and in these times a good FT job is a great thing. The family could use more money, so you do the best you can to provide that, both of you.

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Landlubber2019 · 25/04/2021 13:27

I would apply and ask for a 4 day week as you will still to consider childcare in holidays

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Raffles1981 · 25/04/2021 13:27

Apart from the job offer OP, I am in the same position. I'm at a point where I can go back full time and I should. It would make us better off financially, but as with you, the thought of my two days off is stopping me. Can you see yourself doing the same part time job a few years from now? If it was me, I would take the job, adjust and then see how I felt. If its too much, you're not happy, then change it. But you may kick yourself if you don't take this opportunity.

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EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 25/04/2021 13:27

did you apply for the role, or were you randomly offered it through a contact?
Assuming you applied for it, did you not think it through before you applied?
No harm in asking about flexibility on hours before accepting - with current move to organisations being more flexible, they may consider four days, three might be more of a stretch.

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BreakfastOfWaffles · 25/04/2021 13:28

How far up primary school are your children? I ask because you may well find that as soon as they hit secondary school you will feel very much more ready to work more hours. If that is not far off, then I would definitely consider this role and deal with the sub-optimal primary situation as a temporary thing. Also, would you be able to work from home some days? That way at least you could be home if someone can do the school run for you.

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Mellonsprite · 25/04/2021 13:39

I went FT in a more senior role when my DD was nearly 4 and it was a massive shot in the arm for my career, and I’m so glad i dud it.
Obviously there are trade offs (school run being one). I now do compressed 5 into 4 days and whilst I love a day off on the week it, it does really reduce flexibility for appointments and things outside of working hours. There’s no perfect solution to this problem!

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BuyYourOwnBBQGlenda · 25/04/2021 13:48

Surprised they don't have a fold out one in the disabled loo. Very unusual.

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BuyYourOwnBBQGlenda · 25/04/2021 13:50

I don't know how that happened, was meant to be on the changing area thread Blush

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AtrociousCircumstance · 25/04/2021 13:50

Don’t do it if it’s not the right time and ignore anyone else’s judgements. This is your family and you have every right to weigh things up and look for FT work later on.

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PinkCookie11 · 25/04/2021 13:52

Did you apply for it?
Surely you knew it was full time before applying.
Ask if part time is available, but if kids are in school and you could do with the money then why not go full time.

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Everyday21 · 25/04/2021 13:52

If you can afford it id stay part time but I'm very much "work to live". I plan on working 4 days and having solo adventures (and probably housework) on a day off to myself

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IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 25/04/2021 13:54

I’m sure your partner would like two days to himself but can’t so yes I certainly would take the job and assist with the financial pressure.

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Toilenstripes · 25/04/2021 13:58

Sounds a bit lazy to me. There might come a time later, in menopause for instance, when going part-time would serve you better. For now, you owe it to your family and your pension to work full-time.

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KingAlex · 25/04/2021 13:59

I work 2 days and my children are in Infants/ 1st year of Juniors.

I'll probably go up to 3 maybe 4 days at a push, but have no interest in full time. I want to pick my children up from school, take them to clubs/ playdates, help with homework and have time to play and talk to them in the evenings.

Full time would mean constant rushing around and everyone being tired all the time. I don't think it really benefits them. I'd only do it if we couldn't manage financially, but we do.

I'm 34 and feel I have a lot of working years a head of me so no rush. It is something I battle with though.

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ThatOtherPoster · 25/04/2021 14:01

I get why you’re torn, but I think I’d do it. Long-term it’ll be good for your career. And as soon as your D.C. get to secondary school you probably wouldn’t be doing the school run anyway.

How old are your kids?

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PerveenMistry · 25/04/2021 14:03

@Firsttimemummy33

Currently work three days a week, have two primary aged children. I’ve been offered a new job which is full time and it’s a job I’d really like. I have been coasting since having the children and am not really enjoying my job that much anymore. The new job is closer to home, more senior and more money but would mean working 5 days a week. I really enjoy having two days a week to myself at the minute and also the thought of not doing the school run which I couldn’t do very often in the new job is upset me! I really want this job but am scared to commit to full time work again. We could do with the extra money, am I being silly and lazy to be close to refusing because I want to stay part time?


I think you should snap at the job. For future security, finances and myriad other reasons.

Working pt is nice but a privilege that can't last forever. You've had yours.
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Firsttimemummy33 · 25/04/2021 14:20

Thanks for the reply’s- most have said what I already think! My kids are 6 and 8. Just to correct myself when I said I have two days to myself I meant two days not at work whilst the kids are at school where I’m rushing around doing shopping, housework, admin etc not enjoying myself! I literally do everything at home which would need to change if I was working full time

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Firsttimemummy33 · 25/04/2021 14:21

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Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 25/04/2021 14:21

Jeez can't believe some pp are calling you lazy for not wanting to work full time!!!
I would def asking question if it can be done over 3 or 4 days.
How supportive and hands on is your partner? Will you be expected to do all the wife work and life admin too?

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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/04/2021 14:23

Are you a single parent? Sorry if I’ve missed the answer.

I’m a single parent and I’ve just got to a better paid job which has more hours (was full time before but this is more full on). I think it’s worth it as it’s interesting and challenging to me. Better than spending two days on housework imo!

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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/04/2021 14:24

Outsource some drudgy stuff like cleaning with your higher pay packet and shop on line!

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minniemomo · 25/04/2021 14:25

If you were full time you could afford a cleaner etc! Is that good incentive. I found a lady who would collect my kids twice a week and clean, even cooked a meal for us all - highly recommend

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worrybutterfly · 25/04/2021 14:31

I'd see if they'd accept 4 days a week and get a cleaner with some of the extra money.

You're not enjoying your current job, the new one is nearer to home and more money.

Unless the hours each day are significantly longer than in your current role, you'd not be loosing much time with your DC.

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