To expect an outdoor gym to not be used as a playground by children?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

Went for a run yesterday and afterwards went into an outdoor gym which is (unfortunately) next to a kids' play park. There are some weights attached to vertical beams, an exercise bike, ropes, cross trainer and markings on the ground for relay runs. Loads of signs saying age 13+ only and children weren't to use it as play equipment.

It was absolutely over run with small kids aged about 4-10 climbing all over it, using the equipment and just generally getting in the way while their parents sat in the play park in clear sight of them doing nothing. When I did manage to use some equipment kids were waiting as if we were taking turns. I'd been on the exercise bike for about 15 minutes with one little girl who was about 6 staring at me...she went to get her mum who actually came and asked if her DD could have a go as she'd been waiting for ages I said no this bike is for adults and they she got all huffy and was all "Never mind darling, the lady won't get off so we'll have to just wait won't we". I was then doing relays on the markings and they were running in front of me nearly knocking into me. I gave up in the end!

Is it really so much to ask that parents tell their children to keep out of adult only areas and stay in the massive park built for children? Want to go again today as it's a great little gym, council spent a small fortune but CBA with all the unsupervised kids.

To be careful

You keep repeating how dangerous it is for children, and yet admitted you dont actually give a shit about the safety of random children.

When did I say this? Unless you're referring to the post where I responded to someone who asked if I was looking out for the children's safety and I said no thats the parents' job?

By your reckoning then I can go and play on the kids equipment as long as I wait my turn yea?

[quote Jellybabiesforbreakfast]**@ChochoCrazyCat. If you've lived in many different places and you've had problems with the people in all of them, hasn't it ever occurred to you that the common element is you?

When my DS was a baby, I only ever had one older child come up and try to touch him in his pram and that was quite a clear case of special needs. His mother was quickly behind him, apologising. I just don't believe this sort of thing is anything more than an isolated incident - certainly not reflective of children's and parent's 'entitlement' generally.[/quote]
Yeah @ChochoCrazyCat it's obviously your fault some child came and poked your DD in her pram wasn't that obvious 😂😂 so fucking people are so ridiculous

@Goldenbear

I was in the supermarket yesterday at a self service till and a little boy about 6 had a big stick that he deliberately launched towards DD, she was taken aback and said to him not to be careful as he could hurt someone. He held it downward after that, it didn't need me to hiss and embarrass him, he just got carried away in his moment of pretending it was a sword I suspect. Even my DD realises this and understands that younger children are impulsive.

Maybe he was just expressing his creativity and curiosity? How very mean for you and your DD to make such a big deal of it.

@Jellybabiesforbreakfast It's not every single parent, but it is a lot of parents, in my experience. When I worked in an ice rink as a student the staff were regularly shouted and sworn at by parents for things like (nicely) asking a child to join the back of a queue and not push in, or taking the penguin toy things away from a child when their time was up (again, it was done nicely but if your time was up it was up, as there were others waiting to use them). These weren't just "rough" parents either. I was quite shocked by the level of entitlement.

YANBU. I was consulted by my council before they installed an outdoor gym. This problem is exactly what I added to my encouragement - they are so enticing for kids even when we’ll signed etc. Real shame where kids also have their own spaces.

Do you have a confrontation with people everywhere you go.

Although if I'd seen some boy try and hit my DD with a stick I wouldn't necessarily rule out "hissing" (if by hissing you mean a telling off, it what snakes do). Stop being so afraid of children, it's not normal!

My 9 year old was competent in dealing with the situation in a non aggressive way. She is far more level headed and reasonable than some adults by the sound of it.

@Goldenbear

Do you have a confrontation with people everywhere you go.

No, why would I?

Are you one of these posters who think someone posting on AIBU are only posting about things that deeply upset and traumatised them? Or maybe, like here, people post all sorts of things like stuff that irks theM.

Do you always have children wavin sticks at your child? That's the second example you've given in the thread where your DD was attacked by a boy with a stick. Maybe it's something t you're doing wrong?

@Goldenbear

Do you have a confrontation with people everywhere you go.

No. I usually have my earbuds in and I also have resting bitch face.

I think I'd petition the council to change the door so the lock/opening is quite high off the ground.

@Goldenbear

My 9 year old was competent in dealing with the situation in a non aggressive way. She is far more level headed and reasonable than some adults by the sound of it.

Of course she had a perfect calm and teacher-like response. That definitely happened So what if she did? How is that even relevant? You seem weirdly keen to tell us how mature your DD (who is never told no) is even though no one has asked.

Yeah @ChochoCrazyCat it's obviously your fault some child came and poked your DD in her pram wasn't that obvious...so fucking people are so ridiculous

Clearly that wasn't what I meant .

You can't extrapolate from one child poking a baby in a pram that the way of the world now is "bad manners and entitlement". That's just illogical.

Most people are nice.

Yes, I am afraid of children, that's why I didn't confront a 6 year old about his behaviour. Why would I get involved if my DD is capable of asserting herself. This is part of growing up, I'm not going to be around to help her all the time and I certainly don't want to ringing the secondary school every week with a complaint to a teacher that will be moaning about her 'preciousness'.

I honestly think @Goldenbear is scared of telling her child no and is posting all these random irrelevant examples of how her DD has amazing calm and adult-like reactions to stick waving in a bid for people to tell her what an amazing mother she must be.

Funnily enough the most badly behaved children I've ever taught and dealt with, including one who told me to fuck off and threw his phone at my face because I told him to put it away, are described as angels, mature, sensible etc by their deluded parents. It must have been my fault, he was only expressing his emotions etc. Good parents recognise their children aren't perfect. Just sayin'.

Why is it so surprising that a nearly 10 year old can speak for herself in a calm manner, don't judge people by your own shortcomings.

You are right though, it is the second time in about 3 weeks she has had a boy with a stick has launched at her, it's a good job she has the confidence to handle herself.

And personally I like to stand up for my small children who are being threatened, not just stand by and hope they can deal with it. Not my parenting style I guess

I didn't describe my DD as an angel, I have said she is confident- quietly so and assertive because she is. I also said that we are all flawed children nd adults alike. Do you only ever deal with extremes. I have seen all sorts in the education sector it doesn't mean a child should be pigeon holed even if they make a mistake.

There was no 'hope' about it, I was right next to her but she can handle a 6 year old as she is not a small child in age I don't think a nearly 10 year old is small.

@Goldenbear

It is not about saying, 'No', it is about whether it warrants a 'no', I like my children to think for themselves, be inquisitive and not stifle that. I think if someone is being polite and asking if they can use an exercise bike, then it is harmless, why would the parent have to go on a power trip by shutting down a reasonable request with a no, if they deem the action to be reasonable. The child was on the receiving end of your, 'No' so lesson learnt by child - adults have different levels of tolerance.

If your child wanted to drive your car - because they were curious and inquisitive about driving - would you allow it? Or would you say no because it wasn't safe/meant for children?

The OP wasn't saying no because she was on a power trip. She said no because the outdoor adult gym equipment is NOT for children. Because it's NOT safe for them. I have seen a child get injured on a piece of equipment - it's not about what the child wants when what the child wants is dangerous for them.

@cordelia16 shhh don't be logical, it'll upset everyone

@Goldenbear I do hope your DD is the way you describe. We need strong and assertive girls and women. My DD is very similar - takes no crap, asserts her boundaries - but I haven't had the same "dont ever tell them no" approach as you...so I think you also perhaps need to accept that people parent differently and people can assert boundaries with their kids (or stifle them according to you) and still produce well rounded, level headed strong children.

I've never said, I don't say no, in fact I said I absolutely do say no but not in some arbitrary fashion!

The car example is hyperbole, it is against the law for a start, last time I checked, using an adult gym is not against the law as demonstrated by the video of the small girl using the equipment. Mind you I didn't watch it to the end, do the police turn up?

Saying no because it's u safe to do something isn't 'arbitrary'. Arbitrary would be saying no you can't go down the slide.

@Goldenbear

So it's disingenuous to say it is about safety.

I think the rigid thought process about park space being 'off limits' to some, when it is seemingly a free flowing area so not fenced in, not a private concern is never going to happen, why get so cross about it, you are just ruining your own well being by getting worked up about it.

One park I know has dog agility equipment which I think is genius. I'm sure some children think the tunnels etc are great fun. But I wouldn't expect them to be on it if someone wants to use it with their pet pooch be it a rottweiler or a chihuahua