To expect an outdoor gym to not be used as a playground by children?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

Went for a run yesterday and afterwards went into an outdoor gym which is (unfortunately) next to a kids' play park. There are some weights attached to vertical beams, an exercise bike, ropes, cross trainer and markings on the ground for relay runs. Loads of signs saying age 13+ only and children weren't to use it as play equipment.

It was absolutely over run with small kids aged about 4-10 climbing all over it, using the equipment and just generally getting in the way while their parents sat in the play park in clear sight of them doing nothing. When I did manage to use some equipment kids were waiting as if we were taking turns. I'd been on the exercise bike for about 15 minutes with one little girl who was about 6 staring at me...she went to get her mum who actually came and asked if her DD could have a go as she'd been waiting for ages I said no this bike is for adults and they she got all huffy and was all "Never mind darling, the lady won't get off so we'll have to just wait won't we". I was then doing relays on the markings and they were running in front of me nearly knocking into me. I gave up in the end!

Is it really so much to ask that parents tell their children to keep out of adult only areas and stay in the massive park built for children? Want to go again today as it's a great little gym, council spent a small fortune but CBA with all the unsupervised kids.

It is not about saying, 'No', it is about whether it warrants a 'no', I like my children to think for themselves, be inquisitive and not stifle that. I think if someone is being polite and asking if they can use an exercise bike, then it is harmless, why would the parent have to go on a power trip by shutting down a reasonable request with a no, if they deem the action to be reasonable. The child was on the receiving end of your, 'No' so lesson learnt by child - adults have different levels of tolerance.

@Tallybeebloom thanks, what does ASN stand for? I find it really interesting. Even though my children seem quite creative, they often get bored on long days out. I often wonder if it's related to the lack of creativity you're talking about, or if they're just tired

@Goldenbear

It is not about saying, 'No', it is about whether it warrants a 'no', I like my children to think for themselves, be inquisitive and not stifle that. I think if someone is being polite and asking if they can use an exercise bike, then it is harmless, why would the parent have to go on a power trip by shutting down a reasonable request with a no, if they deem the action to be reasonable. The child was on the receiving end of your, 'No' so lesson learnt by child - adults have different levels of tolerance.

Using stuff that isn't for them definitely warrants a 'no'. You are doing your kids no favours bringing them up to be bratty and entitled - learning the world doesn't revolve around them is useful lesson for life. Some things are for grown ups not children and your children should be taught to deal with that.

@Goldenbear

It is not about saying, 'No', it is about whether it warrants a 'no', I like my children to think for themselves, be inquisitive and not stifle that. I think if someone is being polite and asking if they can use an exercise bike, then it is harmless, why would the parent have to go on a power trip by shutting down a reasonable request with a no, if they deem the action to be reasonable. The child was on the receiving end of your, 'No' so lesson learnt by child - adults have different levels of tolerance.

Children need to learn that not everything is for them. They can't use the equipment as they are too young so a 'no' is absolutely warranted.Harmless if there's an accident with it then no, not really. I don't think this is any more complex than that TBH.

My DC are good at expressing themselves, they have strong emotions about things and I'm not going to stop them from having those feelings which I think saying 'No' frequently does, it is basically saying, your feelings are irrelevant.

My DC aren't bratty or entitled. One of them is a teenager and certainly doesn't fall in to that category. What a strange judgement to make about children you have never met.

@Goldenbear

My DC are good at expressing themselves, they have strong emotions about things and I'm not going to stop them from having those feelings which I think saying 'No' frequently does, it is basically saying, your feelings are irrelevant.

Boundaries, that's what it's about. Saying no when it's appropriate is not denying their feelings and emotions, it's just part of parenting. It's the real world, where there will be lots of 'nos' along the way and not just from parents in the future.

@Goldenbear

My DC are good at expressing themselves, they have strong emotions about things and I'm not going to stop them from having those feelings which I think saying 'No' frequently does, it is basically saying, your feelings are irrelevant.

I had strong feelings about eating chocolate for breakfast when I was a kid but luckily my parents decided that I wasn’t to make the nutritional decisions, regardless of how intuitive I was.

How does schooling fit in with your parenting? It’s full of adults saying no, often for arbitrary reasons...

I didn't say that I would never say, 'no', I just try to use it minimally as I don't think it is productive.

@Goldenbear

My DC are good at expressing themselves, they have strong emotions about things and I'm not going to stop them from having those feelings which I think saying 'No' frequently does, it is basically saying, your feelings are irrelevant.

They sound a bit bratty and entitled to be honest - expressing their strong emotions and never being told 'no, that is for you, it is for grown ups' will not make for very nice children.

It is not about saying, 'No', it is about whether it warrants a 'no'

How does signs saying "no children under 13" and very obvious safety hazards not "warrant a no"?

I like my children to think for themselves, be inquisitive and not stifle that.

Well I like my children to think they aren't above the rules for virtue of being very young but there you go. I like to show them they can be inquisitive and think for themselves without impinging on stuff that's not for them and without compromising their safety. I must have a better imagination I guess

@Goldenbear

My DC are good at expressing themselves, they have strong emotions about things and I'm not going to stop them from having those feelings which I think saying 'No' frequently does, it is basically saying, your feelings are irrelevant.

You think that telling a child that they can't use something because

1. It's unsafe and
2. The rules exclude them

Is saying their feelings are irrelevant? Blimey

Our local park has two

The one next the the playground always has children on

I’ve let ds and his friends use it supervised no one else was using it I very much doubt I’m the only parent on here

Can i just say, I teach teenagers and I can tell from very early on when a child has been raised never being told 'no'. They are the ones who have very few coping skills, who struggle with homework and exams because it's doing something they don't quite fancy doing. Sometimes they're bratty, sometimes they're lovely, but they really can't cope with not being the centre of everybody else's choices. It's very hard for them to suddenly go from being told "of course you can real the rules darling I don't want to stifle your creativity" into the real world where a sense of order, practicalities and a hell of a lot of perceived unfairness is the reality.

*break rules

Questioning rules is not necessarily a bad thing. Challenging the status quo can be a good thing and sometimes that will make people unhappy as they want things to stay the same.

I think it is unimaginative if you can't comprehend people do things differently in life, including bringing up children. My DC are so easy going, they are the kind of children that are wanted on playdates as they are no hassle. It might not fit posters narrative but there are other ways to bring children up that can produce well rounded individuals. If you can't understand that maybe you should explore the prejudices and preconceptions you hold.

Questioning rules is not necessarily a bad thing. Challenging the status quo can be a good thing and sometimes that will make people unhappy as they want things to stay the same

Could you tell me in what way challenging rules that are there to prevent serious injuries is a good thing? Would you let your kids play with knives? Or play chicken on the road?

I like a good challenge of the status quo but not when it means taking things away from other people who need that thing more than the person 'challenging'. Challenging the status quo has to have a positive outcome and the risk to be worth it. Is it so very bad that a child who is next to a child's play haven, is told they can't go on the only part of the park that's not meant for them? Tell me seriously - what benefit does that bring to anyone?

I think it is unimaginative if you can't comprehend people do things differently in life, including bringing up children

Meh, I think it's unimaginative that you can't raise a child to have spirit and challenge without also riding roughshod over the feelings of others.

My DC are so easy going, they are the kind of children that are wanted on playdates as they are no hassle.

So are mine. And I have the added bonus of children who don't think the world revolves round them. I wonder how your children react when told no - if they ever are.

It might not fit posters narrative but there are other ways to bring children up that can produce well rounded individuals

Like I say, children who aren't told no, even for their safety, struggle later in life IME. Hardly the rounded individual you expect them to be.

If you can't understand that maybe you should explore the prejudices and preconceptions you hold.

Lol I am prejudiced against little Tabitha and Timmy because I expect them to find enjoyment in the facilities made for their age and not run to mummy when the nasty lady is using equipment designed for her 🤣🤣 this thread is comedy gold.

I wonder how you'd feel about your little darlings exploring where they can be unstiflef should they ever dropped a large weight on their toes or sustain a head injury ?

Questioning rules is not necessarily a bad thing

Interesting statement. Could be interesting when say, being stopped for speeding or being arrested though. Might be a bad thing then.

But back to the OP the questioning of the rule is fairly cut and dried-

'Can i go on this equipment Mum?'
'No'
'Why not?'
'Because you aren't old enough-see the sign?'
'Oh yes Mum you are right'

The End

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop can you go back tomorrow? All the children that can't be denied anything will hopefully be busy questioning the rules in school.

Well you said upthread that you aren't interested in the safety aspect...but anyway, you are not getting it. I am saying that an enquiring mind is a good thing, curiosity is a good thing, this thought process is why this child wanted to go an exercise bike. I am not really sure what harm it would do if the child did this. The parent asked you politely, what is the big deal. It is hardly the crime of the century. I just wouldn't perceive it as entitlement if someone asked me this.

@Sparklingbrook wash your mouth out - how else will little Johnny explore his boundaries if not for playing on unsafe equipment and pissing adults (who have no rights to enjoyment, especially women) off around him

I used to be sympathetic to this. lately the children's playground is occupied by groups of men with tops off using the swings/climbing equipment for exercise. Most of the kids don't have the confidence to approach these men to ask for a turn and most of the parents feel pretty awkward too. I find watching children feeling intimidated by men in a playground pretty depressing. They don't even move on when the kids are all in after school

Well you said upthread that you aren't interested in the safety aspect

Who me? I'm not sure I did, Pinocchio.

I am saying that an enquiring mind is a good thing, curiosity is a good thing, this thought process is why this child wanted to go an exercise bike.

So the only solution to allow a child on a piece of equipment that's unsafe for them in an area they shouldn't be, is to always acquiesce? There's never the option of "no because you aren't old enough and it's not safe". Curious minds also need boundaries to flourish.

I am not really sure what harm it would do if the child did this

The harm would be I can't use the equipment...you know, the type of person it's made for. Not a big deal to little Timmy I'm sure but my feelings count too.

The parent asked you politely, what is the big deal

They asked me to get off a piece of equipment so someone who wasn't supposed to use it could go on. Tell me, because you haven't answered - can I ask a 6yo to get off the swing and give me a turn?

?It is hardly the crime of the century.

So what? It's still an inconvenience to me. And me saying no won't traumatise the child if she's being raised correctly.

I just wouldn't perceive it as entitlement if someone asked me this.

Because we judge people by our own standards and you think the world should revolve around children, whereas I don't

I can't really take your answers seriously tbh, you seem quite angry about people having a different viewpoint.