To wonder why people make eye contact mainly at me during meetings?

[thgfdcvhtf]

I have always noticed that whenever I'm in a group setting where someone is speaking/addressing the group they will always make eye contact with me a lot more often than others. It's something I noticed as a student at university; lecturers would always make eye contact with me a lot more often than other students. I have also noticed it at work. Today we had a meeting (socially distanced, wearing face masks) and the person leading the meeting was constantly looking at me. I feel like I become the almost default/resting position for their gaze aside from a few cursory glances around the room at others. A colleague even brought it up afterwards as they had noticed that the person leading the meeting was pretty much only looking at me. As I said, we were in face masks so it's nothing to do with my facial expressions. It happens with male and female speakers but probably mainly male.

It makes me feel self-conscious as I become overly aware of my body language and how receptive I am appearing as I feel that I'm being watched.

Has anyone else noticed this? I am quite a quiet person so I'm wondering if it's because I come across as non-threatening? However, this does happen with strangers who don't know my personality.

Do you smile and look interested in what they are saying while everyone else looks angry/bored?

Maybe it's because you're looking at them? It tends to be easier to meet someone's eye if they're looking at you and engaged

You probably have a face, eyes/style that put people at ease!

It'll be because you look like you're actually listening.

I get this. Had it the other night. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Doubt its because I have a face thats easy to look at etc. I have a proper bitchy rest face (forever being told to smile for example). Maybe its because I do look at the speaker as I feel its rude not to, unless they are asking us to look elsewhere obviously.

Are you attractive?

This happens to me all the time in meetings and 9/10 it's because I'm the only one not fiddling with my pen/playing with my tie/examining the pattern on the ceiling 😂

I always get this too. In meetings, someone can ask a question, and during the course of the answer, the other person has turned towards me and answers to me.

Sometimes I look back at the questioner to try and deflect it back.

It's definitely not just men, by the way, it's everyone. I hold a lot of one to one meetings for work, so I'm comfortable with it, but I definitely notice it.

It may be that you have a friendly face. In that case, it's a nice reason but I can understand why it makes you feel self conscious.

I think I’d look at whoever I felt more at ease around, so even if I didn’t know you, I’d look at you if you were paying attention. I certainly wouldn’t look at someone who is looking down or away.
But if I knew you and you were someone I’m comfortable speaking to, I’d look at you to ease my own nerves. If it makes you nervous/uneasy, look down yourself. :)

I get this all the time too. I think it's because I make an effort to look like I'm listening, to 'help' the talker, and they grab that with both hands. (For the record, I'm averagely attractive, but certainly not traffic stopping stuff).

I get this too.i think it's just because I'm clearly listening/reacting/engaged.

When I'm presenting, I do tend to look most at those who are most engaged.

I get this. I think it's because I'm an active listener - I nod, I respond to what they say with facial 'movements' (smile, frown, etc), I empathise.

I'm not particularly attractive (I'm no spring chicken any more!), but I am open, friendly and professional.

I get this too - I have a piercing stare (I'm told!) and I think people notice it. I also listen quite intently which shows.

I once went to a Led Zeppelin tribute act and the singer sang all his songs while making eye contact with me which was bloody excruciating, I don't even like Led Zeppelin, let alone a fake version!

I get this too, my colleagues have noticed it. I’m not attractive. A female senior manager once told me I was “a radiator” and that’s why she liked me being in an audience. I guess we’re just reassuring listeners?

If you notice every time they are looking at you then you must be intensely looking at their eyes too- they probably are just being polite as you look so engaged..most people in a meeting/lecture don't constantly look directly at the person presenting/talking, they are doodling, looking around the room, looking at the slides etc.

I get the same thing, and like a pp said, I have also been to concerts where the singers have basically sung the whole show ‘at’ me (it was the boyband Blue, for anyone interested 😆).

Are they looking at you thinking “why is this woman staring at me”

I always look for the kindest face when addressing a group. I always come back to that face.

I get this too OP, I think it’s because I give the eye contact back to the speaker.

My guess is a combination of the suggestions above. You are attractive but not threatening. You pay attention without being too intense. You have a receptive face and body language. It sounds like a real positive trait to have.

You probably look like your listening.

My sister looks like this and is actually not paying any attention or has no idea what the person is on about. I look disinterested as I fiddle about a lot due to anxiety: but I actually am listening and take everything in

I get this too all the time. I think it’s because I make a lot of eye contact when talking and interact but it starts feeling uncomfortable so I start breaking off to look at someone else or the board or something. Sometimes I chew my lip, nod my head and look up pretending to be deep in thought of what they’ve said 😂

Please count yourself lucky that you're able to have face-to-face meetings.

I get that a lot too. It is weird. Random people talk to me all the time too.

My DH says it because I look friendly and smiley (pretty much opposite to bitchy rest face)

I am NOT friendly though 😂