To ask how this is going to work? (Work and money)

[Sanddownlane16]

I’m needing some advice to figure things out. I hope that’s okay.

I’ve always been the one mainly working since my partner lost his job. We have a one year old. He’s finally got a new job which is four days midweek, 8:30–6pm. This is, of course, great. It’s an easy going job and is going to be great for his mental health.

But it leaves me wondering how I’m going to work myself. I am the higher earner, and work in media. I have five clients and I need to be available in the week, especially in the mornings.

My MIL minimises my job and says I should just do my ‘stuff at night time’ after making sure I have DP’s dinner on the table when he gets home.

Can i put a one year old in nursery? I’m not sure how it works. My career is what makes me ‘me’ and to lose it would make my mental health even worse than it already is.

I’m so happy for my partner, but I can’t help but feel worried about what this means for my own career, which I’ve worked so hard for.

Thank you xx

@Sanddownlane16

No I didn’t realise you could go to nursery at 1. I don’t have any mum friends either, and was told it was three by my family. That’s why I asked, sorry

"Free hours" start at 3, although in some circumstances you can get FEET funding for a 2yo. Daycare Nurseries start from young babies until school age.

Your MIL sounds like an old bag. I’d have to make a comment to her about how you’ve supported the whole family financially while her darling son was unemployed, and will continue to be the higher earner too

This! How dare she?!

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

How do you think people go to work with babies and young children?

This. Are you in the UK, OP?

OP has asked for help, is there any need to be such a dick?

So your husband has been a SAHP until now and you’ve supported him financially?

Now he’s got a job and suddenly you have to sort out the childcare?

Both mine were in nursery/childminder from 1. It’s expensive but they were/are happy. You spilt drop off/pick ups, household chores and cooking. It’s 2020 not 1950.

Your MIL is vile and what’s DHs take on this?

Good luck OP. I hope you can sort something. It's relatively easy where I am to get childcare at short notice and costs £45 a day for nursery before the tax-free deduction. I find it sad that in the UK in 2021 you and your family seem to think there are such barriers to women working - I don't mean to be rude, but I'm genuinely baffled by it. Can I ask what sort of community you live in?

OP has asked for help, is there any need to be such a dick?

I don't think it's being a dick to know the bare minimum about basics like childcare by the time your baby is 1.

Also you know.... google