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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have taken my baby to emergency

162 replies

NeedingAGoodNap · 23/04/2021 13:19

Our 8 month old daughter was feeling very unwell. She had a temp of around 40.3 and her breathing was very fast. It was 2am in the morning and we didn’t know what to do so we jumped in the car to take her to emergency. The triage nurse did some tests and found that her temp, breathing and heart rate were all very high so she admitted us straight away.

The doctor seemed confused as to why we were there and thought it was obvious that it was a virus and we should have just treated at home. They monitored and gave her pain relief for 4 - 5 hours until her heart rate we back in a normal range and then sent us home.

Where we unreasonable to take her in? It’s not like she can talk and tell us why she is so upset and unwell

OP posts:
sheepisheep · 23/04/2021 13:55

Doctor was probably trying to figure out if you had deeper concerns and phrased it badly. Doctor was probably also exhausted, it being the middle of the night and not completely on their A game communication skills wise. You're fine OP.

To those PP calling some doctors twats, just stop it, eh?

sarahc336 · 23/04/2021 13:58

With a child especially one that xs to tell you how they feel you don't take a risk and I thought this was the general opinion of all Heath care professions. An 8 month old with altered heart rate and breathing to me is a hospital matter. I assume the dr probably has a pod bedside manor, but if in doubt you get it checked over, why take the risk?? Xx

catfeets · 23/04/2021 13:59

No YANBU. We took our baby in as she was unresponsive, we couldn't wake her up and she was projectile vomiting.
We were told we were time wasting and to go home. My DP said we were not going home until we'd been seen by a doctor. The doctor admitted her straight away and she was in there for two weeks.
Within 30mins we were accused of abusing her because she had a bruise on her face which I'd asked them about myself as it wasn't healing - it was a Forceps mark. They refused to treat her at all until we could prove the bruise wasn't caused by us - despite her still being unresponsive at this point.

OP, I wouldn't be worried about whether you should have taken her. You were worried enough to take her and that is what matters - if she'd been ok they wouldn't have admitted her in the first place.

greeneyedlulu · 23/04/2021 13:59

It is always better to be safe than sorry, you did the right thing

MrsAvocet · 23/04/2021 14:00

It's a long time ago now OP but when I was young I worked on a children's ward for a while. It was quite common for babies and yiung children to be admitted looking awful through the night but to e bouncing around like nothing was wrong by the morning ward round. I remember one junior doctor making some disparaging remark about anxious first time mums wasting his time and the really experienced Consultant really tore a strip off him in front of everyone. He said he would rather admit a thousand babies who were fine than miss one with meningitis and that when the young doctor grew up a bit he would realise that things are not always as obvious as he currently thought. I've always remembered that. It's definitely better to be safe than sorry.

Justri · 23/04/2021 14:04

I would have done the same,better safe than sorry

DaisyDaisydoo · 23/04/2021 14:05

Agree that they can have a poor bedside manner that can be taken to heart when you are understandably worried. I had to go back to A&e three times with my toddler and finally insist on an X-ray which showed a broken arm. Try to let it go and don’t hesitate to follow your instinct again next time. Flowers

AryaStarkWolf · 23/04/2021 14:07

Why would it be obvious to you, you're not a Dr. of course you did the right thing. Forget about it

diddl · 23/04/2021 14:08

So it was obviously a virus that you could have treated at home, but she was kept in hospital for some hours until her heartrate came down??!!

So what treatment/obs were you supposed to know to do at home?

ShurImGrand123 · 23/04/2021 14:08

You probably got a junior doctor at that time in the morning who is inexperienced and decided that it was ‘just a virus’, but so’s Covid and we all know not to ignore breathing issues with that!

You did the right thing getting your child checked out so don’t let his poor bedside manner put you off taking your child to hospital, in the future, if you’re ever worried about their symptoms.

Ohnomoreno · 23/04/2021 14:09

I still don't own a thermometer after 7 years and 3 kids...if they still feel a bit hot after Calpol I see the GP. Did get it a bit wrong once though!

imalmostthere · 23/04/2021 14:11

@HippeePrincess

I wouldn’t have even with pfb, would have tried paracetamol first unless there were other worrying signs.
Oh how ridiculous. A temp of 40.3 in itself can be fatal to a baby, and cause seizures. Not to mention a fast heart rate and unable to breathe. It's worrying you wouldn't seek medical attention if this was your child.
Imapotato · 23/04/2021 14:11

You were worried, if you’re worried you should always get a baby checked. They can deteriorate so fast. The nurse was obviously concerned enough to admit you.

Drs are people too. They sometimes get it wrong.

EnglishRain · 23/04/2021 14:12

I would have done the same OP. DD is 9 months and hasn't had a temperature before, and over 40 is really high for a small child isn't it? Especially at 2am when the GP isn't open for example. Better safe than sorry, and 99% of healthcare staff would far rather see a baby who can be sent home with the recommendation to dose up on calpol than not see them and have worried parents sitting at home stressed about their child.

diddl · 23/04/2021 14:13

There's no excuse for him to be so rude/dismissive.

He could put someone off seeking treatment when they really should!

imalmostthere · 23/04/2021 14:13

Absolutely you did the right thing. I did the exact same with dc and they had bronchitis and needed to stay in and were on inhalers for ages, he was very poorly indeed. Symptoms were all the same as your dd.
Always follow your gut, don't let a snippy doctor put you off doing the same in the future. The temp itself is very high, and could be very dangerous.

DarcyLewis · 23/04/2021 14:15

When you have kids, you have to develop a thick skin when dealing with healthcare/nurseries/schools.

Your baby only has you to advocate for her. If you annoy or inconvenience professionals tough shit. Your one and only priority is your child.

If you’re worried about your child always get them seen by the doctor, have the awkward conversation with the teacher, insist on the health visitors referral. Never feel like you’re wasting anyone’s time by looking out for your child.

paralysedbyinertia · 23/04/2021 14:16

It's terrifying when your tiny baby is sick. You did what you thought was best at the time. It's always better to be safe than sorry.

Insidelaurashead · 23/04/2021 14:17

I know a paediatrics doctor. She always says she'd rather see 10 'it's okay, they're fine, take them home Mummy and Daddy' babies than one 'oh no they're seriously ill I wish we'd got to them sooner' baby. You did the right thing

Graphista · 23/04/2021 14:21

I think it's an experience/confidence thing. I'm guessing this is your first child and you don't have a huge amount of experience with babies? If so perfectly fine and sensible to err on the side of caution and no hcp will say otherwise really

That said I personally wouldn't have taken to emergency for a slightly raised temp and increased breathing (that's normal for babies btw and even adults on occasion it's the body trying to cool itself) I'd have stripped baby to nappy, given calpol, a cool drink if they'll take one or increased bf if bf and cooled the room they were in slightly - the weather is getting warmer and it takes some babies a while to cope with that.

BUT I've a LOT of experience with babies inc sick ones. My own dd runs hot and in her early childhood had febrile convulsions. Very frightening but normal for her at this point. First time I did call ambulance as it was first one and a bad one, but after that and getting advice on prevention and treatment (a refresher/update for me really) I didn't always call someone if it was a fairly mild one but would get her checked at gp next morning as an urgent appointment

What you may find helpful - and frankly I think all new parents should do this if only to help them stay calm - is doing a baby 1st aid course. I'm out of touch with who does the best ones now and if they're available to do online with covid but the Red Cross, St. John ambulance, st Andrew's ambulance here in Scotland from memory were always pretty good on this stuff

Some links

https://www.redcross.org.uk/first-aid/learn-first-aid-for-babies-and-children##

https://www.sja.org.uk/get-advice/first-aid-advice/paediatric-first-aid/

Always better to learn this stuff BEFORE you need it if only so you're not stressed and panicking! Kids can be buggers for accidents/illness that scare the bejesus out of us Wink

My dd it much later turned out has a disability. It makes her more prone to accidents (she's had some SPECTACULAR ones over the years that could have been written for "some mothers do ave em"!), more susceptible to certain infections and it's why she tends to run hot too - so a high temp for others is normal for her, that took us a while to learn/get our heads around.

I'm sure she will be fine but it's hard not to worry Thanks

(Doesn't get any easier as they get older dd is 20 and I worry more about her now!)

GameSetMatch · 23/04/2021 14:22

YANBU some doctors have no bedside manner. You did the right thing a 40+ temp in a baby is really high. I would of done the same.

Graphista · 23/04/2021 14:23

You might also find it helpful/interesting to work out her base temp when she's not unwell. Take her temp from a variety of places on her body and at different times to get a rough idea what her normal ave temp is.

My sister has one who is the opposite and runs cool so a "normal" temp for others is a high fever for them and she's had difficulty getting some hcps to accept and acknowledge that

Trixie78 · 23/04/2021 14:24

You absolutely did the right thing and the doctor should have told you that. If you're at all unsure get them checked out. When kids are Ill they can go downhill quickly. I've seen it in my kids, when my youngest was a baby he went from being absolutely fine to seriously ill, to the point we thought we'd lose him, in just a couple of hours. It'll always stay with me the speed he became so unwell. He made a full recovery but we were told he only pulled through because he was seen almost immediately (we happened to be right by the hospital when he started showing signs of being unwell and got him straight in. I dread to think what would have happened if we'd been at home.

OverTheRainbow88 · 23/04/2021 14:24

You did the right thing. I would take baby in again tonight with the same symptoms. I would take my 4 year old in with those symptoms.

lanthanum · 23/04/2021 14:25

If the triage nurse admitted you, then it wasn't obvious to her that you didn't need to be there, and why should you have known any better than her?

There's always going to be differences in judgement, with some erring on the cautious side and some not. We once had an out-of-hours appointment through 111. The doctor we eventually saw said that if she'd been triaging, she would have been confident enough that it was what she diagnosed that she wouldn't have needed us to go in, but she definitely didn't hold it against either us or the triager.

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