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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they are creating an 'us and them' atmosphere at my workplace

34 replies

Rae34 · 23/04/2021 10:43

Been wfh since covid began. We work in a small office for the amount of people. Over the last year we were told changes were being made to make it safer.

Anyway, they have now decided to have a workplace day out at the pub! Upwards of 30+ people invited and it is against the rules for more than a small group to meet here. Most of us arent vaccinated.

Myself & 2 other colleagues have spoken out saying we feel uncomfortable and wont be attending. So now less than half of us, but still a sizeable number, have signed up & I am getting a real 'us and them' vibe about it. They are applying some pressure on those who havent signed up yet.

I think they should have waited until it was safe for all of us. We havent even had a risk assessment for going back to the office (although we are told we will be going back in June). AIBU?

OP posts:
lurker101 · 23/04/2021 10:45

Depends who “they” are really. Is it a colleague that’s keen to see everyone, or is it senior management organising it as a “team building exercise/similar”?

Original poster
Rae34 · 23/04/2021 10:49

It is being organised by a senior colleague @lurker101 so it is a bit of both.

2 of my colleagues have contacted me this morning saying they feel they are being put under pressure

OP posts:
Beamur · 23/04/2021 10:49

I didn't think you could meet in groups of more than 6? How are they getting around that?

Original poster
Rae34 · 23/04/2021 10:51

@Beamur they have said they will book under multiple different names.

But imo it will be clear they are together

OP posts:
gamerchick · 23/04/2021 10:54

Isn't that putting the venue in a shit position though?

Aprilx · 23/04/2021 10:56

The pub isn’t going to host anything that isn’t allowed. It sounds like you are making a thing of it rather than anyone else. Since I began work in the 90s there have been work dos that some people go to and others choose not to.

Original poster
Rae34 · 23/04/2021 10:58

@Aprilx

I disagree. The fact 2 of my colleagues have contacted me about their discomfort shows I am not just 'making a thing of it.'

This is different to the usual work dos because it is being made out to be a big deal that this will be the first time we will see each other in a year, hence pressure to attend

OP posts:
GrumpyHoonMain · 23/04/2021 11:00

Just call the pub and warn them what’s happening. If it’s against rules you could make an anonymous tip off to a local paper / the daily mail / police / council.

UCOinanOCG · 23/04/2021 11:06

My DD met in a group of 12 recently. They just booked two tables of 6 so I guess your work group may just divide it up like that? It also looks like by May 17th groups of 30 can meet outside. What date are they suggesting?

WhateverHappenedToMe · 23/04/2021 11:06

On a separate point - even in normal times we have been advised not to have "official" meet-ups in the pub because it's indirect discrimination against Muslims.

FizzyApricot · 23/04/2021 11:10

@WhateverHappenedToMe

On a separate point - even in normal times we have been advised not to have "official" meet-ups in the pub because it's indirect discrimination against Muslims.
This is a good point. It also puts alcoholics in a difficult position.
lazyarse123 · 23/04/2021 11:15

@WhateverHappenedToMe

On a separate point - even in normal times we have been advised not to have "official" meet-ups in the pub because it's indirect discrimination against Muslims.
Which is a ridiculous thing for them to say. We have a muslim lad who works with us. He always comes to the pub just doesn't drink alcohol and he is very devout.
lazyarse123 · 23/04/2021 11:19

On a separate point - even in normal times we have been advised not to have "official" meet-ups in the pub because it's indirect discrimination against Muslims.

This is a good point. It also puts alcoholics in a difficult position.
Every situation is likely to make someone uncomfortable for whatever reason but we cannot stop doing something that the majority will enjoy. Just say no.

FizzyApricot · 23/04/2021 11:22

For an official work do you have to be inclusive

Original poster
Rae34 · 23/04/2021 11:29

@UCOinanOCG they are suggesting next week or week after. And they have suggested an indoor venue, I have absolutely no idea why.

Of course I will continue to say no. But it IS causing tension between those who are signing up and those who dont feel comfortable. I think it's a bad premature move.

OP posts:
StringersBell · 23/04/2021 11:51

How can it be an indoor venue before May 17th?

ladsholiday · 23/04/2021 12:02

@GrumpyHoonMain

Just call the pub and warn them what’s happening. If it’s against rules you could make an anonymous tip off to a local paper / the daily mail / police / council.
Oh for fuck sake! Peak mumsnet
Original poster
Rae34 · 23/04/2021 12:05

@StringersBell I don't know - I assume they just plan to break the rules.

OP posts:
PuttingOnTheKitsch · 23/04/2021 12:06

Further to @FizzyApricot point, other reasons for companies avoiding work socialising around pubs is the HR headache of the poor behaviour that often ensues.

Original poster
Rae34 · 23/04/2021 12:08

what I find really surprising about it is we were told we would return to work on a phased basis, with everyone not being back in the office at the same time. But it's ok if we all meet down the pub.

This is raising concerns for me around that actually happening and I'm sure they haven't carried out a risk assessment @PuttingOnTheKitsch

OP posts:
FizzyApricot · 23/04/2021 13:12

@PuttingOnTheKitsch

Further to *@FizzyApricot* point, other reasons for companies avoiding work socialising around pubs is the HR headache of the poor behaviour that often ensues.
This is true. There is often a flurry of HR meetings after the Christmas party!
FizzyApricot · 23/04/2021 13:13

@Rae34 could you ask to see the risk assessment?

Original poster
Rae34 · 23/04/2021 13:30

@FizzyApricot I will ask to see this once they tell us of a return date. I don't believe they have one.

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 23/04/2021 13:34

If they are meeting outside and booked tables, the pub if it's a good one will ensure they stay on their tables and prevent people mingling. So I dont think it's a massive risk. But I'd be pissed off that my company was putting pressure on me to meet up in a crowd in a pandemic if I felt uncomfortable with it as well as asking you to break covid rules

SharonasCorona · 23/04/2021 13:40

lazyarse123 Fri 23-Apr-21 11:15:46
WhateverHappenedToMe

On a separate point - even in normal times we have been advised not to have "official" meet-ups in the pub because it's indirect discrimination against Muslims.

Which is a ridiculous thing for them to say. We have a muslim lad who works with us. He always comes to the pub just doesn't drink alcohol and he is very devout.

I'm Muslim, don't drink, and don't begrudge people going to the pub at all.

I used to go along and just have a coke but I'm so bored of it now, I just make an excuse now.

I've really appreciated it when people have suggested going bowling or something instead.

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