Do you have a loyalty to your hairdresser?

[MirandaMarple]

The last couple of times I've been to my hairdresser I've not been happy with my hair (she doesn't know it yet) She has acknowledged that there is an issue and has, on both occasions, given me tips on how to correct it at home and they haven't worked.

She works from home and I've gone to her for 17 years. I'd consider her a friend.

I am at the point now where I'm going to raise it with her (I know I should have done it the first time) but I'm simply a bit worried I'll upset her and feel I have a loyalty to her.
Also, I know that she'd want to know and have the chance to fix it.

My other issue is I have moved further away (1 hour round trip) and it would be in my interest to use a more local hairdresser. It would be cost more (+50%, she's cheap!) but I could walk to it and it would take up less time etc.

If I tell her the truth and she corrects the issue I would feel I have a duty to stay with her.

AIBU to not tell her the truth and play on the fact it's better to find someone nearer to home?

Fully aware I'm over thinking it.

I have loyalty to my hairdresser, been going for 11 years. But she’s brilliant and knows my hair inside out.
If she was crap I’d find another one.

Utmost loyalty to mine-has been doing my hair for over 30years! I did try to find one closer to home as it is an hour away now but ended upset as they weren’t as good so just do the travelling now

That's where your problem lies, OP. You consider her a friend. I think that's a huge mistake. When you pay for a service it's a professional relationship. The minute you blur the lines into friendship you're asking for trouble. Being friendly isn't the same - making it a friendship with all that entails is the danger zone and I'd pull it back if you can.

I'm loyal to my hairdresser, I will never change or go to somebody else. She's not my friend.

Been going to mine for nearly 20 years! But he is a) brilliant and b) cheap.
OP, as you aren’t happy with yours, you have the perfect tactful cop out - just say the long journey is too much and you are going to change to someone local.

Raise the issue with her, you’ve known her long enough to be able to tell her.
She has told you things to do but just explain they aren’t working what else can be done.
Just because you aren’t happy right doesn’t mean she actually fix it and do something else which you’ll love.
Communication is key!
If I was in love with my hair everytime I’d do the 1 hour trip, if I didn’t like it I wouldn’t.

The distance and inconvenience is a good enough get out clause if you need it

No not at all. For years I went to a different hairdresser almost everytime but that was because I didn't enjoy the experience or what they did to my hair. That being said, I have been going to the same salon for the last 4/5 years but I don't have the same stylist all the time I'm happy with anyone who is free. I'm moving out of the area soon but I won't be travelling back all the time. I'll look for a someone new.

None at all. And I don’t expect any back...so on several occasions the hairdresser at the local salon I use has left and handed me over. I’m changing salons now as WFH looks to be fairly permanent but if I do end up back in the office I’ll swap again.

I’ve been going to my current one for 6 years, my only issue is if I have a dye it really stains my head because she isn’t careful enough but I’ve been happy otherwise.
My last one I just stopped going because it was an hours round trip, I had a young child and I wanted to be able to walk and go somewhere more local. It’s a much more positive experience to walk in the sun to and from the hairdresser saying hello to neighbours etc than getting stressed about traffic and parking and squishing my newly done hair with the headrest.

I have loyalty to my HD have been going for about 8/9 years but if I didn’t like how she did my hair anymore I would find a new one.

I've been loyal to mine (It's a small salon with only four staff, two of them do my hair regularly) just because they're the only salon that listens to me rather than doing "What we feel is best for your face shape" and cutting off waaaay more than I wanted.

I actually had one before where I spoke up but there was nothing she could do. She'd cut it too short and everyone says to speak up if you're not happy so I did but you can't exactly glue it back on.
"How's your hair do you like it?"
"Not really, you've taken too much off. I only asked for a light trim on the ends"
"Oh. Well... it'll grow back soon but this suits your face shape more"
Puts it into a ponytail, looks absolutely ridiculous
"It's a style best worn down."

I refused to pay her and went back to my normal salon (it was purely because I couldn't get an appointment there for ages)

If you're not happy deffo speak up OP. Once is bad enough but twice? it should never be "here's a treatment to use at home" if you're paying all that money for it..

You don't have to say anything to her. You've moved further away, just find someone else and if she asks, tell her the round trip is too much now and thankyou for everything she's done.

If I was no longer happy with my hairdresser, I would simply find a new one.

I do and I haven't been happy with my last 2 cuts but still go back.
If I moved though and she was an hour away I would definitely use that as an excuse to go elsewhere.
I wouldn't mention it but if she asked I would say that I desperately needed it doing and didn't have the time to travel to her so had to go local.
Could be different as she's a friend so if you've seen her socially anyway she may say she could do it when you meet up.

You have the perfect excuse - you don't need to say anything - you are just finding someone more local. To answer your question - I have a friendly relationship with my hairdresser but in the end it is a business relationship and I would just go elsewhere if I wasn't happy.

@GlitterGiraffe13 I’ve had that. I went to a posh place as I have always had a hate relationship with my really fine hair and growing up my mum used the cheapest hairdressers. I decided to go to a well known one just for a trim. I asked for about 1/4 inch off and a tidy up. Started to get a bit concerned about how long it was taking and the amount she was chopping away. She’d cut about 3 inches off! Too scissor happy. My hair is super fine and soft so it needs a slight length as too short makes it just lie flat and boring. Plus it was like a bowl cut, I actually cried!

Just say you've had to find someone more local as you are time-poor at the moment.

I have been ‘loyal’ to a few. It never works for me, I think after about three or four cuts they get a little complacent, and give you any old cut. I then realised that since I was the one paying for the service maybe the loyalty should be the other way round. There are so many hair dressers about-if she has given you a few duff cuts maybe it’s time to start looking for a replacement.

I’m in the same situation with my hairdresser. After a disastrous post lockdown appointment with her (and a corrective appointment) I’m really unhappy with my hair. She has told me my hair will look better after my next appointment (6 weeks away) but in the meantime I look very odd. I love my hairdresser but I think I’ve now lost confidence in her.

Very loyal to mine, she's been doing my hair for over 20 years and I moved with her when she left her salon and set up by herself. But she's brilliant, she listens to what I want and always delivers. If I wasn't happy though I'd have no qualms about leaving.

No loyalty, change every time

Thanks everyone.

Those who are loyal and have said they'd go elsewhere if they weren't happy, would you raise your issue with your long-standing hairdresser first?

I had loyalty to mine when I lived round the corner but when I moved 20 min drive away I changed to someone more local

I've been going to the same hairdresser for 20 years. I've moved further away but I still go, despite it being an hour round trip. I've looked at getting a closer one but they are all much more expensive and I'm worried they won't do as good a job. However, if I was unhappy with what she did, I would find a new one.

Just tell her you are going somewhere local as you don't have the time etc.
She's not providing you a good service. You've had problems more than once. There's a chance she knows you won't go anywhere else and takes your custom for granted which is why she isn't providing the service you want and deserve.
A good hairdresser would provide more than just tops on how you can sort out her shortcomings yourself at home.
Go somewhere else miranda!