School run logistics question

[KeyboardMash]

Got our school place confirmed last week, and I have to figure out the logistics of getting DD1 to a school 10-15 minutes away - which is in the opposite direction to their current nursery, which DD2 will still be at for another two years. Nursery is about 30 minutes from the school, about twenty from our house at my walking pace. I can't drive (and I REALLY can't - I've tried. I'm a hazard to human and animal life, and to private and public property. I shouldn't be allowed to try again. "Learn to drive" is not a helpful suggestion here.) I work three days, but my parents will do after-school for us one day.

She's going to have to do breakfast club - there's no way round it. But there are two options post-school: she can go to after-school club, I go get DD2 from nursery at 4.30, trek to the school to get DD1 and we all go home. Or I go and get DD1 at 3.15, we come home and she watches telly/does drawing/crafts till about 5 then we both go get DD2 from nursery and all come home.

I'm averse to putting her in after-school club if I can avoid it. It's a heck of a long day and I'm not sure she'll like it. But then I'm not wholly confident she'll get on with crafts while I work, and it's a long trek to the nursery and back for her (would need her to go on balance bike or scooter for it to be feasible).

Thoughts? AIBU to think a five year old might do a quiet ninety minutes of colouring two days a week? AIBU to think she can manage a forty/forty-five minute round trip on a scooter? AIBU(and overly precious) to want to avoid ninety-plus minutes of after-school club?

Should also mention! After-school club would ultimately mean we're all home a bit earlier, although we wouldn't be able to stop in the park on the way home like we often do. Getting her from school then going out later to get DD2 means a later finish for DD2 at nursery, and we'd be later home - but there's no real time constraint. It'd be stressful getting to after-school club on time, but we can take as much time as we choose with option one (although then we'd possibly get home in time for getting ready for bed!)

I assume a nursery nearer school isn’t an option?

Can you not pick up at 3.15 and then walk straight to get her sister? Or look if their is a bus that takes part of the way?

I would aim to take the youngest child the shortest distance as they are usually the hardest to manage.

I think the elder would like special grown up time at home. They tend to flop after school, so watching TV quietly should be fine.

Could you cycle to pick up? Baby seat on the back for youngest, or a tub bike for them both?

And I won't lie, that sounds like quite hard work.

Is there not another nursery?

Doing that for several years would exhaust me and be pretty grim in the middle of winter with exhausted children

Are you working from home for an employer? If so then I think you will need after school club as 5 is young to expect to stay entertaining themselves after a long day at school

Makes most sense to have the older one at home after school then go pick the younger one up from nursery later. You’re right, school days are long especially when they’re so young.

If I go straight to nursery from school I'll be getting home at about 4.15 with two kids in tow. There's no way I'm getting work done with DD2 around! If I bring DD1 home then go to nursery later I can fit another 1.5 hours in, which I need to get my hours done. There are buses, but it's not very helpful because of where everything is: I'd have to go five minutes out of my way at either end, it would only cover a small section of the journey and probably save about ten minutes overall if that.

You know your child best, but even then predicting how they'll be after school is hard. I remember everybody telling me my child would need to chill out after school and be exhausted but he really wasn't - he was actually bouncing off the walls and wired after a day spent doing more sitting and more thinking than he was used to at nursery.
We ended up putting him into after school club where he runs around the school field and woods for an hour and a half because I couldn't give him enough exercise at 3:30 myself and playdates weren't always available.

Do your company allow you to work while looking after children as post Covid, many are returning to banning this?

I’d look to move DD2 to a nursery or childminder closer to the school, or even find a childminder that covers the school you’re going to and they can cover both pre and post school. They tend to be cheaper than nursery too.

Could you mix it up so a few days a week she does after school and the other days she gets collected after school? When they start reception they’re normally shattered towards the end of the week.
After school can be a bit full on if they’ve had a busy day. Is there a childminder that could pick her up from school afterwards perhaps?
My DD is high school age now but I remember the logistical nightmare. Especially when they bring homework home that needs to be done for the next day

I would look for a childminder for the youngest that will also be able to pick up your older DD when needed. Once in school your eldest will be exhausted you might find that’s she clingy after school and reluctant to go back out again once home.

I’m another person that can’t drive (not won’t, literally can’t! I’d be a liability!) and that sounds like a lot of work. Is there any public transport you can use even if it’s just a few stops on the bus?

What time do you work until and what does your employer think about you working whilst watching the children? For 2 days a week and peace of mind I’d probably do after school club for a few years especially since you’ll all be home earlier that way.

Sorry if this is equally unhelpful as "can you learn to drive?" But can you ride a bike? Possibly one with a trailer? My dd(5) would manage telly for that long pretty much no bother but probably not get up to anything constructive like colouring without my input because when you're WFH you have limited tolerance for being pestered so you just go for the path of least resistance one. I'd be ok with that but if you're not can you compromise and do some says asc and some days telly? Or is there someone who lives near you who'd drop DD2 back for a fee? One of the nursery staff perhaps?

See, I'm probably being a bit precious again, but I'm reluctant to change DD2's nursery. She's happy there. I probably could find a childminder - for DD1 I think this might be a better option, but DD2 is a sociable, busy, active kind of kid. I think she's better off with a bunch of other kids and excitement at nursery.
I'm fairly confident DD1 would be happy with telly and crafts - she's more of a flop-and-relax child than a bouncing-off-the-walls child. But dragging her out on a forty minute round trip to collect her sister is less likely to be successful....
I wasn't keen on the idea of bus, as they're so fucking unreliable and crowded and generally horrible. But I think I might need to get over that as it would at least trim the journey down.

Hand mine an iPad and a snack after school and I’d not see them for hours. What both mine would massively struggle with is coming home after school, “flopping” and then being expected to go out again on a lengthy trek to nursery. Especially in winter.

Have you considered a cargo bike/bike trailer or a nursery closer to school? You’re proposing to walk upwards of an hour in the morning (I’m assuming a circular route dropping one then the other), then thirty minutes for school pick up, then forty minutes for nursery pick up - that’s an awful lot of time in a busy day!

From what you've said, it would only be after school club two days a week (because you work three and your parents will do one). I think you're worrying unduly about it. Why do you think she won't like it? Yes it's a longish day, but it's an hour and a half of playing with her friends/colouring etc- you're not proposing to send her down a mine!

I really wouldn't fancy trying to get a reception age child out of the house for a 40 minutes walk/scoot at 5pm after school. Especially in winter when it's dark and especially towards the end of the week. That sounds a bit grim to be honest.

How old is DD2? I work in a preschool, lots of children come to us for the morning are picked up by a childminder at lunch time and then their sibling is picked up after school? Might be the best of both worlds? Also one the youngest is 3 she’ll get her government funding so you probably wouldn’t have to pay anything for the preschool mornings.

Missed it’s two days a week. For that I wouldn’t move your younger ones nursery. I’d use after school club.

Maybe a compromise is the best and she does one day after school club and one day I get her then we go out. If after school doesn't work so well it's easy to drop that - although if I discover the home-then-walk solution is a disaster I'm not likely to be able to pick up an extra day as they'll be full.
My boss is very relaxed and flexible. If I'm doing my hours, and getting my work done, they aren't bothered precisely when or how!

Why not look for a childminder just for after school for DD1, she could even go before school to avoid too long days at school.
But after school club really isn’t as bad as you think for tiring them out. They usually have lots of options and if they want quiet time because they’re tired they can have that. I’d use it the 2 days then collect both children together rather than DD1 having a 30 minute walk home then 40 minute round trip to nursery, that will be more tiring.

Another possibility might be to get a teenager to come to your house at 5 o'clock and sit DD1 while you fetch her sister. By that time most secondary school pupils are home.

Hmm. I think I'm going to look into a childminder. (Next question: where the fuck do you start looking for a childminder?! I don't know anyone round here who uses one who could recommend someone.) And I think I'm probably better off starting with after-school club. The nursery run takes me twenty minutes in one direction, but I walk fast. Even if she was on a scooter I think it would take us longer. And it's not like they throw DD2 at me while I do do a screeching U-turn - there's a few minutes handover/faff/collecting off sticking pictures. So we'd probably be out best part of an hour, which she isn't going to be keen on, especially on a wet day in December.
I'm being a bit precious. I just don't like the thought of her parked at after-school club for significant periods in her first year. I'm barely ready for the school part, let alone for nine hour day for her! 😭 But it's not unusual, and they'll be geared up for tired kids....

Does DD2s Nursery have an after school club that picks up from DD1s school? I know my DDs old Nursery pick up from DDs primary school and a few of the parents send their children there as they have younger ones at Nursery so it's one trip rather than 2

Another possibility might be to get a teenager to come to your house at 5 o'clock and sit DD1 while you fetch her sister. By that time most secondary school pupils are home.
Wholly freaking shit! That's genius! There's an almost-sixteen-year-old next door. I could definitely ask if she minded sitting in our house for forty-five minutes while I grab DD2!

Ask on any local Facebook group for childminders who do pick up from your school. Or the council holds a list of all childminders, look at the ones in the area around your school and contact them.

I know what you mean about the 9 hour days but I’m sure she’d prefer a 9 hour day at school, supervised by staff, with interaction with friends and different activities to do than a 7.5 hour day but having to spend time crafting alone while you work then an hour picking her sibling up. All kids I know love after school club and it’s only 2 days a week. 76 days a year at most.