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Original poster

Partner saying coworkers name in his sleep

56 replies

Trustynickname · 20/04/2021 12:48

Hey all
I may sound absolutely crazy and get some stick for this but here goes...

My partner has been at a new job for around 6 months, of course he has made some friends that are his co workers, one including a woman who is the same age as me, and he seems to like a lot as he has talked about her a good few times when talking about work. I have seen her on his social media but haven't met her.

He's actually had some holiday from work so hasn't been there for 5 days, last night I was putting our child too bed when I accidentally fell to sleep untill I heard him call and say "ladys name, are you coming in here?", it seemed as though he was awake when he said this so when I questioned him why he called me her name he said he said he was dreaming about her and can explain why he said her name, but the next day he said he don't remember saying any of it and he was asleep and sleep talking and he wont be arguing over it as I'm being pathetic. I have been really moody and off with him since.

And tbh I probably am being pathetic, so am I being unreasonable to question him as to why he got our names mixed up and why he was even thinking of her whilst in bed? As i don't know whether I sound psychopathic right now. Plus I'm pregnant so I'm possibly hormonal, and just feel fat and disgusting, and this lady is very pretty and is actually a model so maybe I'm just feeling a little insecure in myself thinking why is he thinking about her to get our names mixed up. Its actually an unusual name too.

Would you be pissed off?

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 20/04/2021 12:50

You can't control what you dream about and what you say in your sleep.

bunglebee · 20/04/2021 12:52

Well either you think that he was awake or asleep.

If he's asleep there's really no sense in worrying or criticising him for what he was dreaming. The other night I dreamt that my uncle and I were having a cosy chat whilst riding those weird things from the Mandalorian. I don't even like my uncle. I've also had an awful lot of dreamsex with people of both sexes.

Presumably you don't think he thought she was actually in your bedroom, so is this really worth turning into a big thing and creating days' worth of atmosphere?

Original poster
Trustynickname · 20/04/2021 12:53

He seemed awake at the time. He was talking to me, so yes I thought he slipped up with the names. But he's saying he was sleep talking.

OP posts:
GoWalkabout · 20/04/2021 12:53

He was half asleep and calling you, the right instinctual part of the brain took charge and guessed instead of the sensible waking left brain - and got the wrong name. No big deal. Judge him by his waking actions.

listsandbudgets · 20/04/2021 14:35

I wouldn't worry about this alone OP. He was probably just dreaming about some kind of work meeting.

I talk in my sleep and sometimes have quite realistic dreams. Poor dp got woken up recently by me yelling rude things at him in German - what's odd is that when he told me what I'd said (he translated it to English) I had absolutely no idea how to say it in German despite having cursed him quite fluently in my sleep Confused.

Our brains are really weird things and there are many questions about how they work during sleep or at all that have not yet been resolved.

listsandbudgets · 20/04/2021 14:38

^^ I have German GCSE from many years ago but what I said would DEFINATELY not have been part of the syllabus-- Grin

SchrodingersImmigrant · 20/04/2021 14:40

@listsandbudgets as long as it wasn't Aramaic, all is ok😂 Otherwise you could have woken up to a priest there😂

MolotovMocktail · 20/04/2021 14:42

I wouldn’t worry about the sleep talking but I would probably be wary of the mentionitis.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 20/04/2021 14:42

When I'm focussed on work stuff my colleagues crop up in dreams in random ways, absolutely nothing sexual about it and I've never cheated or even remotely been tempted to!

I'd more assume it's that he's preoccupied with work than cheating etc

monkey1978 · 20/04/2021 14:44

Does he usually sleep talk?

BuyYourOwnBBQGlenda · 20/04/2021 14:45

I dream about colleagues all the time. Sometimes I've had sexual dreams about ones I don't fancy. They are a big part of my life just by virtue of me seeing, typing and saying their names for 40-50 hours a week so it's natural that they pop up in your brain.

slashlover · 20/04/2021 14:50

If he was asleep - I dream about work sometimes.

If he was awake - I've called people by the wrong name before.

dotdashdashdash · 20/04/2021 14:55

When DH was a teacher, he "woke up" in the night and had a half conversation with me, before turning to the none-existent children in the room and told them off for talking when he was talking to me.

He did this regularly.

I wouldn't worry about it.

emmetgirl · 20/04/2021 14:56

I've had dreams that I've had sex with people I find physically repulsive so I wouldn't read too much into it. Dreams are weird!

Angrypregnantlady · 20/04/2021 14:58

DH has learned not to have conversations with me at night because I'm most likely asleep. It doesn't matter if we're talking and I sounds coherent, I'm not.
People dream about weird people, I dreamt the other day about friends I had at school 10 years ago! It doesn't mean anything.

Thehawki · 20/04/2021 14:59

It just sounds like he was either half asleep or fully asleep and had his wires crossed. The brain does weird things when you dream, I wouldn’t judge him for this at all. In fact it’s kind of funny 😆 Put it down to a brain fart and don’t worry about it.

Sanchez79 · 20/04/2021 15:00

You're getting into dodgy territory when you're punishing your partner for what happens in their sleep. I'm not saying you are punishing him OP but something to watch out for.

Dollywilde · 20/04/2021 15:04

Yeah, I’m with the consensus that this on its own isn’t weird. DH turned to me in bed the other night and asked me ‘Amy, are you going to send that out or should I?’ (Amy is his colleague, I am not called Amy!) Luckily the context was enough to confirm it was non-sexual but frankly even if it had been a sex dream I wouldn’t have a right to be cross with him - you can’t control that stuff and I’ve definitely had sex dreams about people I know while sleeping beside him Blush

stalachtiteorstalagmite · 20/04/2021 15:07

My ex did this with a co worker's name. We were messing around and he said "oh stop it Bertha!*" (I am not Bertha)

Within a few weeks he'd left me for her and they are now married with a kid.

*not her real name. It is a true story though.

I'd be absolutely livid and telling him you don't want to hear her name mentioned again.

Blankspace101 · 20/04/2021 15:07

He can’t help what he dreams about, just as you can’t control what pisses you off.

OrangeRug · 20/04/2021 15:14

Honestly I've dreamed about my co workers countless times. I spend a lot of time with them after all and I think about work a lot even when I'm not there. Sorry haven't RTFT but I think the important thing here is are you generally happy and does your gut tell you something is off? My partner worked with a very pretty girl for a while and my insecure side kept telling me she was better than me and to stalk her fb but the rational side of me knew she wasn't his type and that he was/is very happy with me. Sometimes it can be hard to separate those two sides of your brain.

OrangeRug · 20/04/2021 15:17

Oh also my partner sleep talks. We often have full conversations and he has no memory of it the next day.

Lou98 · 20/04/2021 15:19

@Trustynickname

He seemed awake at the time. He was talking to me, so yes I thought he slipped up with the names. But he's saying he was sleep talking.

I talk in my sleep and have been told my everyone that's heard it that I was so clear and eyes open etc that they were sure I was awake - I definitely wasn't. If people talk to me I often reply, but again, I'm sleeping and not aware until they tell me the next day.

I also dream about work a lot, I also dream about other people etc. None of it means anything, I'm sleeping. We can't control what we dream about.

I would say pick your battles OP and let it go, it really doesn't sound like there's anything in this

PersonaNonGarter · 20/04/2021 15:23

I think he fancies her.

But, so what, really? What are you going to do about it? You can’t sulk him into not fancying her.

FTEngineerM · 20/04/2021 15:28

I dreamt I had sex with a director in my company; he’s double my age I was mortified by the whole event and felt really awkward for ages after. I don’t think dreams should be taken seriously!

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