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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse to pay for a shared fence? [Edited by MNHQ at posters request]

29 replies

IHTC · 20/04/2021 12:38

We live in a terraced house where the deeds state we are half responsible for the fencing on both sides of the garden. One our neighbours has said that they can't afford to contribute to the fence and they had always believed they were only responsible for the fencing the other side of their garden.

The fence this side is currently pretty much non existent, with panels missing along the entire stretch.

AIBU to suggest that it simply won't be done as we are not prepared to give them a fence for free?

I should add that my dad is a builder who has offered to install all 16 panels free of charge. The materials would cost about 1k meaning they would get their fence done this side for £500 max. Quite frankly, I don't believe they don't have the money as they have putting in planning to extend by 5m out.

Am I being too harsh? Would you just do the fence?

OP posts:
FelicityPike · 20/04/2021 12:42

I would just do the fence personally.

AryaStarkWolf · 20/04/2021 12:44

They don't have to contribute if they don't want to, a fence is not a requirement by law so if you want the fence just do it

Iwantcauliflowercheese · 20/04/2021 12:44

That's quite unusual. The deeds usually show which fences are yours. If your fence needs replacing, you pay for it. The fact that the neighbours benefit from a new fence is irrelevant.

Brieminewine · 20/04/2021 12:45

Depends how much you desperately want it I suppose.

Original poster
IHTC · 20/04/2021 12:46

@Iwantcauliflowercheese It's really unusual! When we bought the house we were expecting full responsibility for 1 side but the solicitor pointed out we share responsibility to the fence either side and only have full responsibility for the fencing/gate at the back.

OP posts:
LST · 20/04/2021 12:47

If they are happy with how it is, its tough. They could remove the fence completely if it is there's. If you want to replace it, its up to you.

LST · 20/04/2021 12:49

@LST

If they are happy with how it is, its tough. They could remove the fence completely if it is there's. If you want to replace it, its up to you.
*theirs
PurpleDaisies · 20/04/2021 12:50

If it bothers you, just suck it up and do it. From my experience, it’s not worth trying to get money out of a neighbour who doesn’t want to pay.

Either do it because you want it or forget about it because you are fine with it. Don’t let it become a thing. Neighbour disputes have a tendency to get nasty very quickly,

playeddepaler · 20/04/2021 12:52

@IHTC just because that have planning permission in doesn't mean they have the money. They might have it...but clearly the fence is not their priority and you don't get to decide that for them.

Bouncebacker · 20/04/2021 12:53

That’s annoying- but I think I’d just suck it up and replace the fence - would be better than no fence as you wouldn’t be able to avoid them when you are in the garden! Maybe you can paint offensive pictures on their side? Grin

dontgobaconmyheart · 20/04/2021 12:54

Well ultimately how much do you want the fence done? If you do want it there seems limited point cutting your nose off to spite your face in the respect of it, even if it is potentially 'unfair'.

I would give them the quote for half the work and suggest you would appreciate them considering splitting it as it benefits both of you, perhaps when they see it's less than they suspected they might get on board.

You can't make them though and analysing their finances won't change what is ultimately up to them. You benefit from a considerable saving yourself by only paying materials so all things considered I'd do it and enjoy the fact I didn't have to see my neighbours in my own garden.

Original poster
IHTC · 20/04/2021 13:07

Thanks all! My husband also said I was being too harsh but just wanted to check. Just rubs me up the wrong way knowing they're probably going to get their fence done for nothing when they should be contributing. It desperately needs doing especially as we have a little tot who will soon be wondering around the garden. Finding it really hard to calm my stubbornness!

OP posts:
Isthatabat · 20/04/2021 13:08

I’d just do the fence. It’s not worth getting into a massive bust up and there’s no practical way of forcing them to pay. It’s also preferable to have a crap fence.

PurpleDaisies · 20/04/2021 13:13

@IHTC

Thanks all! My husband also said I was being too harsh but just wanted to check. Just rubs me up the wrong way knowing they're probably going to get their fence done for nothing when they should be contributing. It desperately needs doing especially as we have a little tot who will soon be wondering around the garden. Finding it really hard to calm my stubbornness!
Honestly, it’s better to just do it than let it take over your entire headspace. My in laws are ruining their retirement over a dispute with a neighbour about a tree. Once it’s done, enjoy your garden and just forget about it.
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/04/2021 13:15

Ultimately if you want a fence just get it done. I had to pay to get my neighbours tree removed because I wanted the light, they let it grow out of control but weren’t going to pay. I resigned myself to the fact that it was better to pay and keep amicable that cause a fuss and get nowhere - focus on the end goal.

Timper · 20/04/2021 13:16

It doesn’t become priority for them just because you have a child who will soon be using the garden. That’s absolutely not your neighbours problem.

ShirleyPhallus · 20/04/2021 13:20

Tell them you’ll pay for it yourselves and install it then

Then write
SHIELA AT 87 HAS A GIANT HOOF AND GEOFFREY SMELLS OF YOGHURT

All along the panels on their side

Original poster
IHTC · 20/04/2021 13:22

@Timper I've never suggested this? Confused It is (or at least should be in fairness) their problem as they are jointly responsible although clearly, we're going to have to take the hit.

OP posts:
Mamamamasaurus · 20/04/2021 13:22

@ShirleyPhallus

Tell them you’ll pay for it yourselves and install it then

Then write
SHIELA AT 87 HAS A GIANT HOOF AND GEOFFREY SMELLS OF YOGHURT

All along the panels on their side

Please do this. Please.
AryaStarkWolf · 20/04/2021 13:23

@IHTC

Thanks all! My husband also said I was being too harsh but just wanted to check. Just rubs me up the wrong way knowing they're probably going to get their fence done for nothing when they should be contributing. It desperately needs doing especially as we have a little tot who will soon be wondering around the garden. Finding it really hard to calm my stubbornness!
So you need the fence for your child, they don't and like a PP said you don't get to decide how they prioritise their money, if they're building as it is they probably are counting every penny and the fence just isn't up their for them
Zarinea · 20/04/2021 13:23

"It desperately needs doing especially as we have a little tot"

There's your problem. You need it doing, not them!

It might not be fair that you're paying it all, but neither would it be fair if they had to pay for something they don't care about.

Original poster
IHTC · 20/04/2021 13:23

@ShirleyPhallus Grin this made me laugh!

OP posts:
playeddepaler · 20/04/2021 13:25

Where are the building in relation to the fence OP?? If it's close to the fence then the fence could get damaged? Will they need access near the fence? etc etc I would hold off until the building work is done to be honest now that I think of it.

FTEngineerM · 20/04/2021 13:25

they are jointly responsible

They are jointly responsible for maintaining the boundary not replacing the fence.

Blanca87 · 20/04/2021 13:26

Maybe try and reframe the situation that your making your garden safe for the tot and ultimately that’s all that matters. In most properties you would be responsible for your fence had your lawyer not mention it to you would non the wiser.