Burnout - anyone suffering and any tips for recovery?

[Burn0ut]

I have one month recovery time (starting today!) between me leaving the high stress job which caused me severe burnout and a new, hopefully less stressful job.

Would you please hit me with your burnout happy recovery stories/tips/suggestions?

I have spent most of the weekend sleeping and analysing why my old job gave me so much stress, but I'd like to leave the past in the past and move on, have a better plan to recover.

I have thought of: swimming, walking and giving up caffeine. maybe some form of therapy if available.

At the moment my 'flight or flight' system is fully switched on and I am at the same time lethargic and terribly edgy.

I'd be really grateful to hear about others in similar situation and what helped you. Thank you!

Sorry to hear that OP - excellent work on the job move! For me in a similar position what actually helped for at least a couple of weeks was zero planning. I don’t know if you have any other commitments but following a serious burnout I needed to not have anything in the diary - if I felt like a swim I’d go for one but I wouldn’t schedule them in. I found being outside v beneficial. Over a longer time frame gradually building new habits of yoga and going alcohol free also helped me a lot.

Take a couple of weeks enjoying having nothing to do. Don't think too much about the previous job - it's history now. Try doing something you enjoy which will fill your mind, even if it's just sleeping in late, watching a film and having a bottle of wine in the evening. You can, you are free.

I had a similar thing when I was made redundant (the difference being I didn't have another job lined up). I decided to take a month to recover, and the first couple of weeks were just spent doing absolutely nothing constructive. One morning, a fortnight in, I just woke up bright and alert and knew "that's enough wallowing" and got on with finding a new job, which I started within a few weeks.

Enjoy a couple of weeks of "wallowing" (which I don't mean as a negative term in this case) in the luxury of having nothing to do. Then you'll be able to start thinking about your new job.

Trust me, once you are back in the swing of working, you will think it an astonishing luxury to have had a month to yourself.

Completely agree with @Persephoned , don't plan anything. And when you feel stressed, or despairing or worried don't try to mask the feeling, or numb yourself, or distract yourself. Just sit with the emotion and let it happen.
Don't keep telling yourself all will be well in your new job, it's unfair on your new job to make it responsible for your happiness.
I've been where you are and survived, so will you.

I haven't necessarily had work burnout, more like life burnout, after sick parents, a pandemic, bit of work stress, DH's ill health, but I'm working on having a more healthy response to stress.

I like meditation. I use the Calm app. Gives you tools to manage stress in daily life. Was initially skeptical, but now can see how it's helped I am a convert!

I also tried journalling, which I was skeptical about, but has helped me.

Caffeine reduction has been game changing for me. I still have 1 normal tea but have moved to decaf coffee unless I'm at a fancy coffee shop. I didn't notice a day to day difference, but when I randomly had 2 caffeinated coffees one day I felt dreadful. Super stressed, on high alert.

Sorry to hear about this, OP. There is no magic fast-working pill. You just need to give yourself time. Do as the previous posters advise - just spend time doing nothing and learn not to feel guilty about it. When you start your new job, don't be that over-committed employee. Do you 8 hours and go home. At home, relax and never feel guilty about it. Get into some form of strenuous exercise at least three times a week. Moving your body is hugely important for the health of the mind. Try not to use TV to relax too much as it really overloads the brain. If you want to watch something, watch if of course, but treat it more like a task that requiers active brain processing from yourself as opposed to relaxation. Reading or sport is better for relaxation. Good luck!

Resting and sleeping. But also having a routine and doing hobbies that you find restore you - could be swimming, or yoga. Gentle exercise like walking is particularly good. Eating well also important. Lots of fruit and veg, and anything else you enjoy (that’s a yes to chocolate if that’s your thing)

Gardening. A small garden project, if you have one, will occupy your body and get you free aire and excercise. And while your hands are busy the mind is free to wander! It gets me in that 'flow' state where the unconscious starts repairing damage.

Pamper yourself bubble baths and nice products.Walking,gardening and baking if that is your thing.Hopefully just being free from the old job will decompress you.
I am currently seeking therapy as I have anxiety and I am returning to a high stress job that I did love.However 12 hr days and some toxic issues and I am now stressed to the max.
Good luck with the new job.

Been there OP and for my recovery it helped to get all the physical and mental rest I needed, I cleared my diary of everything big and small and just done a few small things that I enjoyed doing such as going for a walk, gardening and cooking. I found packing my body with the right food made me feel generally better. (Don't fall into the trap of doing nothing at all as this can delay recovery and increase the risk of more severe mental illness, imo).

If you have access to therapy then go for it. Also use the time off to try and understand the steps that lead to burn out for you so if it happens again you will recognise it before it escalates. I have had a few more wobbles over the years but can see it coming and have strategies in place to stop it in its tracks.

Good luck, OP. You have my complete empathy

Thank you, you are all so kind, I am reading this and tearing up. Lots of really good points and suggestions.

I think the point of keeping active and eating well is so important, up to September/October I was able to keep it all together, eating well and exercising before work, and then it just got worse and worse to the point I thought I could not do it anymore. I was just working, eating rubbish to make myself feel better, and drinking (more and more) alcohol.

"Don't keep telling yourself all will be well in your new job, it's unfair on your new job to make it responsible for your happiness." - that is an excellent point, I think I need to build boundaries and get less stressed by work matters. I think the word is compartmentalise - I can barely spell it, let alone practice it!!

I am a high performer but I can't take it emotionally (I am unable to write this without sounding like a complete knob, sorry) - to give you an example, I was capable to write a doctoral thesis in 3 years without any intellectual difficulties but, emotionally, it really affected me negatively, and created a lot of anxiety. Similarly in my past job, I was the star performer in my team but I could not take the pressure.

I need to learn to compartmentalise (I can barely spell this, let alone practice it...) and just learn to be normal... not to carry all the woes of the world on my shoulders... how does one do this?

Spend at least 1 whole day in bed minus eating and going to the loo!

Could you book yourself in for a massage? Maybe a massage will help get rid of any stress and tension you have in your body.

I don’t know if saunas are open yet but I used to love lying down in the sauna and just letting the heat from the wooden benches penetrate into my back

Doing one thing at a time - I was turning into that meme of 'too many tabs open' so now I try and focus on even the smallest, mundane task. I dry my hair for example without also drinking a tea, texting my mum and logging into m work laptop. Sounds ridiculous (and not always possible), but when you apply it to the big tasks too, it helps calm your mind down.

Eat healthily, get plenty of sleep, go for a walk everyday as the sunlight and exercise will boost your mood. Try to put all thoughts of the previous job out of your mind. Maybe something that will mentally absorb you will help with this.

A change is as good as a rest.

Is it possible to book a night or two away? COVID depending of course.

I've just redecorated my kitchen and its really cheered me up. A fresh new look for a fresh start.

A new haircut.

Treat yourself to some new clothes for your nee job.

Make sure you are doing something every day that you positively enjoy. Doesn't need to be a big thing - eat a bar of chocolate, watch an episode of your favourite boxset, tea in the garden with a friend. This is more important than Getting Things Done.

The caffeine is a good shout. I've switched my morning cuppa to decaf black coffee and feel much better. Still can't give up my post-lunch cup of tea but I get real pleasure out of it.

Lots of good suggestions already. Some previous comments have hit on a few activities I have also found very useful personally (time outside walking or gardening, gentle exercise like yoga - but also some strenuous exercise like running, a cold swim, going for a massage.)

One of the things that helped me the most was understanding what led to stress / burnout and how I experience that. Personally, I get a lot of muscular tension which is why the activities above are helpful to me. Someone else might need to focus instead on dealing with emotional distress, or another expression of burnout.

Meditation & breathing exercises might also help you to feel a bit more restored over time, and begin to feel more like your old self. (You could try Calm or Headspace apps, or for a free option "progressive relaxation" or "loving kindness meditation" might be useful key words for YouTube searches.)

If it's a stressy type of burnout, the nhs recommended stresscontrol.org course might be beneficial. One of the takeaways I had from this was that focusing on boosting your wellbeing will help you to be more resilient against future issues with stress / stress related burnout.

Related to this, Coursera.com hosts a free online course from Yale called "The Science of Well Being". The course helps to translate research on psychology into actionable steps each of us can try to build a happier life in general. Maybe this would be of relevance to you as you 'reset' and start in a new role?

OP, best wishes for the future!

Boundaries. They are under valued, but you need them. Cloud and Townsend were where I found the idea, have a look.

Once your boundaries are in place, everything else becomes easier to manage.

Questions like 'Whose problem is this?', allow you to separate yourself from things you aren't responsible for.

Also, prioritise yourself. Never let the task or the team be more important than you. If you are sinking, you are no good to anyone else.

Thanks again all for the suggestions! I have 'actioned' quite a few of them.

Yesterday I have:

• been swimming and walked about 9,000 steps (to go to the pool)
• went for a short walk with my teen son after school so he could tell me all about the evil of the Super League (my listening skills went down to ZERO when I was super stressed)
• cooked dinner for the first time in ages (not at the weekend)
• ordered a book about burnout online
• done some mild gardening
• mixed my essential oils in a destress mix (something that takes 5 minutes and was on my "todo" list for weeks but could not find the headspace to do it)
• did a 30 minutes meditation (again, something I used to do but had stopped doing)
• I had cake in bed with my OH watching Line of Duty from my laptop.

It's unreal though how tired and lethargic I am - when I came back from the pool I had to lie down for a bit - and I slept, really slept, from 9.30 until 7 am.

Today I am planning more walking, more swimming and I will book a massage, as suggested. Also looking at the Boundaries book and free well being course!

The biggest challenge for me is getting up in the morning... I find it so hard. And the tiredness I mentioned. So tired.

Sleep as much as you need to. Also, don’t expect to be recovered in a month. Maybe in six months or a year you will be able to feel normal again.

@bridgetreilly, you re totally right, it's just that I hate (well, maybe not hate but deeply dislike) what I have become
:(

i am grieving for past me who would get up and six and go for a run and be bouncing with energy and optimism all day. I feel I am 94 years old now

:(

sorry this is so bloody self indulgent.

I was thinking perhaps this is not so self indulgent because it may help somebody googling burnout in the future, as I have, and she will be able to see lots of good tips and suggestions, and maybe when I get better it can give her hope too.

If that is you, hang on in there. We can do this.

You're not being self indulgent. You're just looking for ways to get better, and yes, you are helping others.
Well done on your progress so far. You've done lots.
If you feel tired, sleep. Listen to your body.
I second journaling. I get it all down. It's so interesting to read back, too, at a later date. Maybe buy a nice notebook and jot down other things, too. Quotes, positive comments, goals ( short term/ long term). All of this makes me feel less overwhelmed when I feel burnt out, or when it all gets too much. Oh, walking. I know it's been mentioned, but walking with your best friend. Works wonders for me.
Good luck, and I think you're going to be fine.

It's not self indulgent to need to grieve your loss or to treat yourself with compassion while you do.

Most likely, those are two things you need to allow yourself to do in order to recover. And without interrupting yourself with put downs for having emotions.

I am not sure if you can do this but a holiday somewhere quiet with warm water and birdsong worked for me.

I have had burn out three times in my life. It is the pits. Literally like your body switches the off switch, and simple tasks become like walking in treacle. I knew I was heading for one the second time around, and couldn't fend it off. Third time around, I moved mountains, and it was milder but still so difficult. I hated the uncertainty of knowing if I would ever feel better, but you will.

You have addressed the root of the burn out - your job, if you don't change the root of the issue then you are destined to continue to have them. I ended up also with an auto immune disease, so it is imperative you really do listen to your body.

You are still listing stuff op, as if you are needing to 'achieve' I would stop. Swimming and all the cooking, that isn't going to help. Go and lie in the garden for a few hours, stop moving. Stop 'doing things'. You are so stuck in the 'on' mode you sound like you are finding it hard to switch off.

You nervous system needs to come down. Classical music, lavender baths long ones doing nothing. Phone and TV and all gadgets off. Close your eyes, go to sleep. Let other people cook for you.

No need to swim every day. Just take a bath and relax. Let you body fully relax for as long as you can possibly do so. Massage therapy and quiet. Quieten your chattering with mindfulness. Stop the lists. Do nothing.