17 and 20 are very different

[Swordfish1]

What would you think if a 27 year old man started dating a 17 year old (with quite severe health issues and considered vulnerable) girl.

So essentially she is still at school.
Its apparently no different than if she was 20 or 21. But I think it is quite a bit different.

I know the age gap is only 10 years and lots of relationships have large age gaps. But for me 17 and 27 is a lot different to say 30 and 40.
AIBU to be a bit concerned here?
For a little more context, she is a 'young' 17, very lovely and politie girl but comes over quite naive.
He is unemployed since quite a while, living with mother, does occasional drugs, is in debt and is into watching and sharing porn.

Legal or otherwise, she's still a minor and therefore a "child".

OP your last two sentences are enough, even if he was 17. Some men deserve to be without a girlfriend, DP, or however you describe a relationship.

I wouldn't be happy if a son of mine was dating a 17 year old girl at his age, nor about him being an unemployed, porn watching layabout (does his mum know about the latter?).

Op, stop being friends with his mum. It is not helping.

Unfortunately there isn't much you can do about it. Try to make sure she uses contraception and hope it all blows over. Make her home as nice and comfy as possible and be nurturing. You probably already are.

My husband and I have been together 13 years. I was 17 and he was 27 when we first started dating. Although, I was a mature 17 year old (living on my own etc) and he was a young mummys boy at 27 so it worked for us.

We are now happily married and have a fantastic happy relationship.

The guy in your OP seems like a bad apple though. Anyone who takes drugs and shares porn is a loser!

For those asking, I know about the porn and drug use because my DSS has mutual friends with this man and their paths often cross socially. The porn use and sharing is from DSS being on a group chat with the friend group and he was sharing alot of porn videos and images to it. DSS left the group actually because of this because it wasn't just the odd risque image, it was stuff he had no interest in popping up on his phone and found it pretty grim.

As DSS knows I am friends with his mother he shared this info with me once I asked him about the very young girlfriend and essentially asked DSS what this man was like in general.
His mother thinks he does no wrong, So I can't bring it up fully. I have expressed surprise to her about the girls age and she says they are just in love and age shouldn't be a problem.

Unfortunately I don't know the girls parents, if I did I would share the info I know about the porn and drugs though, aside from the fact of his age and lazy arse lifestyle.

Should I try and find out who they are and anonymously let them know? Or is that going too far?

It just really creeps me out.
DSS also said some of the pron shared was pretty grim which is why he left the group. Think videos where you couldn't really tell the womans age or even if she was or was not consenting.

I think you need to tell the chap's parents about the porn and share your misgivings regarding his relationship with your daughter. If he still lives with them, and I imagine he does if he is jobless, they may put some pressure on him.

I was 18 when I met my DH who was 40

Have you never questioned why a 40yr old man was interested in an 18yr old?

It's not on, especially as he is unemployed and is into porn. Your daughter is vulnerable.

Just realised this thread is from April and I responded before.
I would like to know what happened next but that's up to the op.