Pornographic images of women shared amongst male friends. Are you cool with it?

[Arepeoplereallycoolaboutthis]

I was looking through DP's photo album for photos of our DC yesterday and I stumbled across a photo of a young woman practically naked with legs spread (professional airbrused photo - not one taken yourself iyswim!). I then saw that it was from the WhatsApp album and I asked DP about it. He told me that a friend of his had sent him it to him randomly and showed me said message. I'm aware he receives funny videos from friends but was surprised by this.

Anyway we had a talk about it and he told me about another two work friends who receive images/videos of women masturbating from their friends (from porn sites). He told me that when a work friend showed one to him he said "my Mrs wouldn't be happy about me having stuff like that on my phone" which is true. I wouldn't. I think it's grim and weird to share this stuff amongst friends. Keep it to yourself?! Anyway, this guy said that his wife is totally cool with it.

So it transpires that there seems to be quite a few people out there who are completely chilled about sexual images/videos of women amongst friends.

I know friends of mine who, like me, would not be cool with it.

These men age from 35-55 so not exactly "lads".

So I'm intrigued to know:

YABU - I'm cool with it.
YANBU - I am not cool with it.

Ah just read back and I didn't proof read before sending. Hope it makes sense?!

Really creepy and disrespectful
Would be a bit of a dealbreaker for me

I'd find it very disrespectful too... and yeah creepy AF

Wouldn't care, but my husband is gay so unlikely to find much there.

Not cool with it but they're all at it.

Also, the older you get the more you realise how imature people in their 30s are. I would count them as lads.

I think its really weird to share pornography with your friends!

Vile.

I feel sorry for the women who think they can do no better than these immature creeps.

@Creepygnochi

Wouldn't care, but my husband is gay so unlikely to find much there.

Wait, so you have a gay husband as well as a trans daughter, lesbian daughter and gay son?

That’s...statistically interesting, I suppose.

Yeah, we're a very queer family. Also have a bil whose gay, and at least one other dd who hasn't come out but I suspect is bisexual. Perhaps it's genetic.

I wouldn’t like it but I think a lot of men do it I know my ex use so 🤷‍♀️

In quite a few WhatsApp hobby and friendship groups and this isn't a feature in any of them, but none of them are exclusively male. None of my male friends from those groups share images like that with me.

It probably wouldn't be enough to end a friendship over if someone did but I'd tell them I'm not a fan

I’ve heard of it on MN but I find it so weird and gross and cringy. Like the men involved are stuck in some juvenile time loop where they never grow out of the thrill of looking at rude magazines with their mates.

I think decent, mature, well adjusted men wouldn’t do this and would find it creepy and awkward.

@Creepygnochi

Wouldn't care, but my husband is gay so unlikely to find much there.

You have a gay husband, not a gay ex husband?!

Wait, so you have a gay husband as well as a trans daughter, lesbian daughter and gay son?

That’s...statistically interesting, I suppose

Also a 53 year old new mum, with ten other children including two sets of twins. Most of them elite athletes too.

Remarkable really.

What are the odds?

@Creepygnochi

Yeah, we're a very queer family. Also have a bil whose gay, and at least one other dd who hasn't come out but I suspect is bisexual. Perhaps it's genetic.

In amongst the professional figure skating and 10 kids?

I wouldn't be happy OP, I detest that kind of thing, but it's about your personal boundaries and you relationship I suppose. Don't really see how you can stop him being sent them, but if you convey to him that you feel it's disrespectful, he might stop responding or encouraging it from his mates.

Yuck, horrid.

And if you're into porn, at least have the shame, decency and self-respect to keep it a secret!

ROFL

Yanbu
And I'd expect my partner to rebuff attempts at sending him this shit without making me sound like his mum.... " my Mrs wouldn't like it" type crap really pisses me off. I'd expect him to be man enough to tell someone he doesn't want to receive stuff without dragging me into it.

It's refreshing to see I'm not alone on this!

I felt like the "their friends wives aren't bothered by it apparently" attitude made me come across as weird for having a problem with it. Until I pointed out to him that indeed his work friends are the weird ones for wanting to share pornography with their friends in the first place!

I agree ladygindiva and have said this to him.

@eatsleepread

Yuck, horrid.

And if you're into porn, at least have the shame, decency and self-respect to keep it a secret!

This!

Also, I bet all the wives aren't cool about it at all.

''Really creepy and disrespectful
Would be a bit of a dealbreaker for me''

so you'd divorce your husband over a porn pic his mates sent him? FGS it's amazing the amount of LTB advice spewed out on mn over trivial crap. He was sent a porn pic,I have being sent dirty/inappropriate vids on whatsapp groups before; I simply roll my eyes and get over it. It's hardly cheating.

''I think it's grim and weird to share this stuff amongst friends.''

For women yes but men, especially whatsapp groups are much more lax about this and you say some of the men are in their 30s-that's still pretty laddish and young.

Nope, I am not cool with this at all and DH knows it. He used to regularly get sent videos from his colleagues with a weird man narrating where it’s a series of different mini clips. Some are people falling over and hurting themselves horribly but then there’ll be women’s tits randomly placed between or a woman with legs akimbo and the narrator will say something crass and misogynistic. Some men are gross.