I’ve lost myself since having a baby

[NUFAN]

Hello,

Is this common? My DC has just turned 6 months old and I have no idea who I am anymore. No time or energy for hobbies etc, my whole life is baby, housework and general wife/mum duties.

How long does it feel like this for? When do you get to relax or do exercise or the things you enjoy, or do I just need to accept that that’s all over for a few years? It’s so tough, I don’t know who I am outside of ‘mum’.

I felt like this for about 4 years ( 2 children fairly close together). Breastfeeding def makes a difference. It ties you to the child and limits your time away. That said I would still choose to breastfeed, just recognise it takes it's toll.

I felt my body felt fairly back to normal by 18m ( when I got pregnant again)

I think it got better when the youngest was 2 I would say. I could manage weekends away and nights out easier.

I would ask more of my DH if I could go back in time. 1 lie in each at the weekend. Time where he took the kids out the house- so they physically cannot come to me rather than him and he got used to looking after them.

I think COVID is your problem TBH. After I had DS (22 months) I just sort of went back to normal with a baby strapped to me? Went shopping, went to museums, went out to coffee A LOT. I BF, but I remember getting my nails done when he was 3 weeks, and going to a party for a few hours when he was 6/7 weeks old. I was back in the gym as soon as I was cleared to exercise.

However, you can't do any of that while you're in lockdown! I'm not surprised you're feeling lost :(. I think you just need to take the plunge and do it. Leave DH with the baby and go for a walk, just get out of the house and leave them to their own devices. I hated pumping, but I gritted my teeth and did it anyway so I could get some time to myself.

Also, make DH do the housework/life admin. Least he can do if he doesn't have boobs.