To despair of new neighbours' shrieking children?

[saraclara]

It's been a glorious afternoon, but I've had to spend it indoors, and even with my doors closed I can hear them. I don't know how they can shriek for this long without having really sore throats. It's not ordinary play shouting, it's just pointless daft shrieking as far as I can tell. They've been out there for at least four hours. There was a break for about 20 minutes, then it started up again. I'm guessing from the tone of the shrieks that they're about 7-9 years old?

There's nothing I can do about it, is there? This is it for the spring and summer.

I could weep.

YANBU! We also have 1 set of neighbours with kids who do this... as others have said I live in a built up village so fully expect to hear my neighbours from time to time.... kids playing, DIY, lawn mowing, occasional dog bark or garden gathering.... all fine. It’s constant, repetitive excessive noise I have issue with.... I think it’s rude and inconsiderate to have such intrusion into others lives. The family near me are well aware they are doing it... may well be stood in road watching with a cuppa, but make no attempt at all to bring down noise levels. Some people seem to live in a bubble and are oblivious to the others around them, some just don’t care and think their kids are just ‘being kids’ and the sound of them having fun is a joy to all, some may have SEN or personal issues that justifies any behaviour in their eyes.... honestly I don’t think there are any circumstances that make this okay.

OP YANBU. I totally understand where you are coming from. For all those posters saying, they are just children etc, let them make as much noise as they want to. What are we all supposed to do, sit it our houses with our doors and windows closed?

Yes, of course, children should play outside and have fun in their gardens. We have children around us and I absolutely do not mind hearing them play outside and, of course, there is going to be the odd bit of crying/arguing etc. However, all we are getting at the moment is hours and hours everyday of screaming, shrieking in my opinion this is not fair on other neighbours.

Surely, we are all allowed to enjoy our gardens. My children are all past that stage now but when they were small they used to play outside and enjoy their garden but I didn't let them scream for hours on end and if they were playing basketball or football I put a time limit on the time so there wasn't constant ball banging noise for hours.

This total unawareness of other neighbours and the entitled assumption that they can make as much noise as they want to for as long as they want to is totally unreasonable.

Oh OP I empathise hugely.
some families don't even attempt to moderate noise.
Trampolines are ''Screechathon'' devices, as are anything that involves water in summer.

There is a family locally whose DC are just so so loud. One of them has an especially annoying giggle. High pitched and manic.

A friend moved {He has two well behaved DC's} precisely because of screeching neighbours DC.

I dread the summer, too, because of the high pitched manic yelling.

It isn't ''Lovely to hear kids enjoying themselves''....Enjoying yourselves doesn't mean screaming til the throat bleeds.

There are two children next door who are the polar opposite of the Screechers..All you hear is the murmur of their voices..Not that manic shrill ragged sound.

I sympathise Op. Not all kids do pointless shrieking, regardless of what some posters seem to think. You’d think it’d drive the parents mad too.

What do you consider ordinary play shouting?

YABVU if someone complained that my DCs were making too much noise playing in their own garden I would respond telling them when they start paying my mortgage then they can dictate what happens in my home.

Children have also been impacted by covid, they have not been able to spend times at parks, swimming, sports clubs, after school clubs, not been able to go on holidays, days out, so for a lot their garden if they are lucky enough to have one is their only place they can let off steam and be children. I’m certainly not going to police that.

You have my sympathy OP. I used to live in a U-shaped block of flats with a play area outside so all the noise the kids made was amplified. Those kids only had one volume, and that volume was scream. Sometimes til 10pm in summer. I fucking hated it.

AliceMcK - exactly that attitude that annoys me... why should your kids enjoyment of their garden be to the detriment of the 20+ households living around them? We’ve all had a tough time in lockdown for various reasons, that doesn’t excuse wild inconsiderate behaviour that impacts on other people! Our outside space is equally precious.

YABVU if someone complained that my DCs were making too much noise playing in their own garden I would respond telling them when they start paying my mortgage then they can dictate what happens in my home.

Fab. I’ll start my DIY at 3am then. My house, my rules.

@AliceMcK

What do you consider ordinary play shouting?

YABVU if someone complained that my DCs were making too much noise playing in their own garden I would respond telling them when they start paying my mortgage then they can dictate what happens in my home.

Children have also been impacted by covid, they have not been able to spend times at parks, swimming, sports clubs, after school clubs, not been able to go on holidays, days out, so for a lot their garden if they are lucky enough to have one is their only place they can let off steam and be children. I’m certainly not going to police that.

Wow you sound like a considerate neighbour - not.

Have you even bothered to read the thread? We are NOT talking about ordinary play shouting. I am pretty sure the vast majority of people would expect that from children playing.

We are talking the screeching and shrieking that some children do more or less non stop for hours. The girl next door to me, aged 7 and definitely not SN shrieks and screeches literally all day when it is nice enough for her and her siblings to be in the garden.

The first few times I heard her I honestly thought something must have happened such as her falling and breaking her leg but no she is always fine.

Yes children have been impacted by covid but so have just about everyone else. They have been able to play in their gardens the whole time so that is a really pathetic excuse

@AliceMcK

You sound charming . Do you not have any consideration for other people who are also paying mortgages/rent. Are they not allowed to enjoy their gardens?

There is normal noise from children playing, diy, lawn cutting etc. I don't think anyone minds that at all. What people are finding unacceptable is parents that let their children scream in high pitched voices for hours on end and have absolutely no awareness that other neighbours are also allowed to use and enjoy their gardens too.

Yes, children have been impacted by Covid but so have a lot of adults and they need to be able to enjoy their outside space too. My A Level studying DCs are also entitled to have a break from revision and to be able to read/relax in the garden.

@Thiscantreallybehappening

OP YANBU. I totally understand where you are coming from. For all those posters saying, they are just children etc, let them make as much noise as they want to. What are we all supposed to do, sit it our houses with our doors and windows closed?

Yes, of course, children should play outside and have fun in their gardens. We have children around us and I absolutely do not mind hearing them play outside and, of course, there is going to be the odd bit of crying/arguing etc. However, all we are getting at the moment is hours and hours everyday of screaming, shrieking in my opinion this is not fair on other neighbours.

Surely, we are all allowed to enjoy our gardens. My children are all past that stage now but when they were small they used to play outside and enjoy their garden but I didn't let them scream for hours on end and if they were playing basketball or football I put a time limit on the time so there wasn't constant ball banging noise for hours.

This total unawareness of other neighbours and the entitled assumption that they can make as much noise as they want to for as long as they want to is totally unreasonable.

Last summer I did sit in my house with the doors and windows closed and I could still hear Little Miss Screech. I tried turning the radio or tv on but she could be heard above them even with them almost at full volume.

My living room is at the front of the house and she is in the back garden plus our houses are semis so not that close together. Just shows how loud she is.

I suffer from migraines and the only thing I can do if I get one is try to sleep it off. Fat chance with madam next door.

No point trying to talk to the neighbours as they are as ignorant as shit. They also have 2 barking dogs and have had numerous complaints but take no notice.

We don't talk to them now as their previous dog got into our garden and attacked one of our dogs leaving him needing 20 stitches in his face and lucky not to have lost his sight

@AliceMcK

What do you consider ordinary play shouting?

YABVU if someone complained that my DCs were making too much noise playing in their own garden I would respond telling them when they start paying my mortgage then they can dictate what happens in my home.

Children have also been impacted by covid, they have not been able to spend times at parks, swimming, sports clubs, after school clubs, not been able to go on holidays, days out, so for a lot their garden if they are lucky enough to have one is their only place they can let off steam and be children. I’m certainly not going to police that.

What happens in your home affects no-one else (I hope you're detached). Noise in your garden does not remain within its borders. It can affect people half a dozen houses away in every direction.

YABVU if someone complained that my DCs were making too much noise playing in their own garden I would respond telling them when they start paying my mortgage then they can dictate what happens in my home.
How utterly charmless you sound. Nightmare neighbour personified.

YANBU

We have neighbours like this. It is slightly less frequent now lockdown has more or less ended but we've had a year now of listening to very very loud screaming from 8 in the morning until 11 pm some days. It's not normal playing noise. It's very, very loud screaming and it's really selfish. It means we cannot relax in our garden.

I've posted on here about them and was told by quite a lot of people I was being very unreasonable and that everyone should just enjoy hearing children playing.

I teach online and my students could hear the screaming over Zoom with the double glazed windows closed and me wearing a headset with microphone which minimises background noise. The other day we were treated to an hour of one of the boys screaming the words "penis" and "butthole" over and over while he bounced on the trampoline.

I've asked them to be quiet and they told me to fuck off. This is in a "nice" area and the parents are very well to do and think they are better than everyone else.

You are not being unreasonable but there's probably not much you can do about it. The parents know it is happening and obviously don't care.

The thing to bear in mind though is that children do grow up and change the way they play. It won't be an issue forever.

@saraclara semi. None of my neighbours have issues with children being children, they have all had their own children and most have grandchildren. My children are inside from 5.30-6 every night for dinner then bed unlike the neighbours who stay in their gardens having smoky bbqs and drinks. I don’t complain about the noise they make, including dogs barking, as they are enjoying their homes and they don’t complain about the noise my children make. We all live together perfectly happy.

I have no issue with the sound of children playing, I don't mind them being loud. But the screaming. I swear- and I realise I sound ancient- that we didn't used to do it as children. You screamed if you were hurt or if you were scared.

Five hours of shrieking does sound very unusual. I wonder if there was something special happening - party, hired a bouncy castle, paddling pool?

If it keeps up, you won't be the only one getting annoyed and hopefully closer neighbours will have the gumption to do something about it.

If not, could you put a note through the letterbox?

A similar situation in my street flared up until someone set their trampoline on fire overnight, at least you're not at that stage yet!

they don’t complain about the noise my children make
If your initial post is representative of how you come across in real life, they probably don't bother because they know the reception they'll get.

@cathybates

If it bothers you so much, get your house on the market and move away to a remote location where you won’t have to hear anyone!

What is wrong with someone actually wanting to enjoy peace and quiet in their own garden? People should have a bit of respect for other people and tell their kids to pipe down, everybody understands that people make a certain amount of noise, but constantly shrieking is not acceptable nor should it have to be tolerated wherever you live. You make yourself sound very selfish if you think otherwise.

@GreyhoundG1rl

YABVU if someone complained that my DCs were making too much noise playing in their own garden I would respond telling them when they start paying my mortgage then they can dictate what happens in my home. How utterly charmless you sound. Nightmare neighbour personified.

Exactly @GreyhoundG1rl By the train of thought shown by Alice, I’m perfectly entitled to plug my electric guitar into my amp and practice, rev up my motorbike and get my leaf blower out to clear my garden at 3am, my house my rules eh? No, wait I don’t do any of that because I’m not an inconsiderate tw*t. Consideration of others - that’s all.

@GreyhoundG1rl

YABVU if someone complained that my DCs were making too much noise playing in their own garden I would respond telling them when they start paying my mortgage then they can dictate what happens in my home. How utterly charmless you sound. Nightmare neighbour personified.

Better than being entitled and expecting others to accommodate my lifestyle choices.

As for nightmare neighbour, I take in oversized and delicate deliveries everyday for my next door neighbour who is self employed and can’t risk missing deliveries or having them damaged. I help my other elderly neighbour take in her bins, I also check on her regularly especially during lockdown as she was on her own after her husband died and her family weren’t local, I delivered food and puzzle books for her. This lady was actually born in my house over 80 years ago, she has never lived anywhere but this street, she absolutely loves hearing my kids playing as it reminds her of growing up in my house and her and her friends playing in the garden. I also regularly stop a very entitled neighbour who seems to think it’s ok to park where ever she wants from getting parking tickets, I don’t like her parking but I like her and her husband, plus she’s my neighbour so I will help her if I can. So all in all I think I’m a pretty nice neighbour. Probably not to someone who feels they have a right to tell me what I can and can’t do though as I would tell them to fuck right off.

Also my screaming children regularly get gifts from my neighbours and they tell me stories about their own children. Every one of them have told me that they love hearing my kids play as the street had gone very quiet since their kids had all grown up. We were the first young family to move into the street in years.

This would drive me mad. We had neighbours last year who used to shriek and the dad would roar and they would all scream and shriek again. Then he set up bbq right by the wall near our window and cooked meat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then they bought a trampoline and bounced, shrieked and stared at us all day. Then dad wheeled out his sound system and played his club classics while they all roared and shrieked. Then they bought a dog and it was left to run in circles barking all day while they went out to shriek somewhere else.
Finally he got dropped by his football team and got signed up by another club in Argentina and they were packed up and gone within a week.
You have my sympathy.

I’m a good neighbour and would tell my kids to be quiet but if someone shouted at them without talking to me first I'd give them carte Blanche to carry on and be louder if they wished
Says it all really 😒 There are still a few people who think that adults should be able to tell children off and I agree with them. You are certainly not a good neighbour.

YANBU. I am childfree and have a number of neighbours with small children. Most are delightful and sometimes I forget they are there. Then there is the son of my problem neighbour. Mum is awful and told me they are a ‘loud family’ when they moved in. Usually loud families don’t admit so if they say this about themselves the you know they’re loud! I’m pretty sure the little boy is indulged and is barely ever told ‘no’.

There are loads of families with small children in my area and most of them play nicely with reasonable noise! There is one family that let their kids scream and shout all fucking day and it is so bloody frustrating! We can't even have the windows open some days. I really feel for you OP