To want a full day to myself

[Knackered1986]

I work “part time” officially 4 days a week / 32 hours. But since my son started school in August I’ve had something like 4 Fridays to myself due to school holidays / in service days / self isolation/ schools being closed / having to work as my work is understaffed. Even on those days to myself it’s only been til 2pm as I need to collect DS from school. DJ has been at home meaning I’ve had to do his lunch, and also had to run errands on those days.

DS5 is high maintenance and wants us to play with him all the time.

I’m just absolutely sick of everything today; the house is a riot. I can’t move for DS or DH standing there asking me questions or to do something. DS friend was over with his mum for a garden play date and DS was asking for stuff constantly. DH was playing golf.

DH came back at lunchtime and I asked him to take DS to the park so I could make a start on cleaning. He moaned as he has had him all week due to Easter holidays. But DH has had time to play golf a couple of times this week; I’ve had no time to myself. Even in the evenings I have to call my mum every 2nd night as she’s on her own and a bit lonely.

I’m just sick of not having any time to myself to either chill or just get the house sorted.

In normal times we have a cleaner, and would be out of the house a lot more: so the house was never this messy, and there was never as many dishes to constantly get washed. I feel like we spend all the time busy but still living in a bloody coup

I’m with you.

From 28th May 3 teens will be finished from school/6th form - DH working from home - so not a car in hells chance til late September!

YANBU to want time to yourself but on a Friday when you’ve dropped your son off there’s no reason you need to make your DH lunch etc. You could just go straight into town and have a nice coffee/cake somewhere and browse the shops etc.

@Bobbots I’ve only actually had maybe 3 fridays where that was possible: and all the shops and cafes have been closed here since early December and won’t open until end of this month

Why do you have to make your husband’s lunch? Is he disabled? You’re making a rod for your own bank there.

YANBU. Declare this Friday self care day. Even if DH working from home surely you can have the school day to yourself?

@BritWifeinUSA just because I’m not working on a Friday and he is. I find it a pain in the arse to be honest because he wants his lunch at 12 whereas in the normal world he would just have lunch at work. Even on days I’m working I end up making lunch nearly every day while he pops to his computer to catch up on emails. I’m just sick of having other people about me all th time and want left alone for a day

It would be self care day, but my son has been off school last 3 fridays. Before that I think I had two Fridays “to myself” but had loads of chores Needing done . before that the schools were off so I had to look after DS

@Dressinggownchic

YANBU. Declare this Friday self care day. Even if DH working from home surely you can have the school day to yourself?

This.

Tell your darling husband that he'll be taking the ropes for the same amount of time he gets to play golf, so you can do something for yourself and if he moans. Ask him why you're not allowed time to yourself.

I think the first thing to do is stop making him lunch. He's capable of sorting himself out.

And will he starve if you don't make his lunch? You sound like a docile wife from the 1950s.

What??? Your husband WANTS HIS LUNCH???

Fuck that.

Hotels are open from May 17th. Book yourself a night away and turn your phone off.

Stop doing his lunch.
Has he lost the use of his arms.

You do not work part time.

32 hours is not part time.

20 hours is part time.

Stop using that term.

You work a 4 day week.

Practice saying it.!😁

Practice saying it!

I find it strange how grown adults can’t manage to say the word “no” when other perfectly capable adults want them to do something for them that they should be doing for themselves.

Get the cleaner back in ASAP
Tell husband to fuck off with his lunch requests
I get where you're coming from, but don't be a martyr.

I do hear you but I do think with some careful boundaries you can keep 9-2pm on Fridays for yourself.
Our cleaner has been coming again since last year it does make such a difference. Get your cleaner back.
Your DH should make his own lunch, you are not responsible for feeding him! If he says he’s too busy to make his lunch he can make himself toast or open himself a tin of soup. Don’t let his lunch become your problem.

I can’t go for lunches out and I can’t get the cleaner back in until the end of April: I’m in Scotland: so we’re not open for business like it is in England yet.

DH is back to work in a fortnight: I don’t actually think DH is to blame for how I’m feeling. It’s the culmination of the past year of having to manage a busy job with childcare/ homeschooling and us both WFH: we can’t really “escape” each other

STOP MAKING HIS LUNCH.

Is that clear enough?

My DH is a SAHD to 3 school age children, I work from home 5 days a week due to Covid and amazingly manage to make my own lunch every day.. I'm sure your DH can manage to make himself a sandwich..

just because I’m not working on a Friday and he is. I find it a pain in the arse to be honest because he wants his lunch at 12 whereas in the normal world he would just have lunch at work. Even on days I’m working I end up making lunch nearly every day while he pops to his computer to catch up on emails. I’m just sick of having other people about me all th time and want left alone for a day.

Jesus wept no. Just because you’re not working doesn’t mean you’re moonlighting in your other job as his skivvy.

Especially as he doesn’t have the decency to make anything for you on other days.

I’d start nipping out for a walk/to the shops/ WHEREVER at 11.45 every Friday just to break him of this ludicrous habit.

Equal time for his golf and your 'me time ' would be a start for me. So what if he had them in the Easter Holidays ? You weren't exactly at the Spa were you 🙄

(I do get how you feel more widely - we both wfh FT At the moment and I just want the place to MYSELF for a day. DH doesn’t get this at all.)

I work 4 days a week (fridays off) My DH works from home and my five year old son is at school half day on Friday. Am also in Scotland so virtually identical situations.

Except, my DH makes lunches. And does his fair share of cleaning etc .
Also on Fridays after I drop DS of, my DH makes me a coffee and breakfast and encourages me to chill out for the few hours I have.

See the difference?

Also if my DH was off playing old, the next day he would automatically ask me what I was doing with my free time that day to balance out his free time the day before.

Don't be a martyr and put up with this

*golf