To want a full day to myself

[Knackered1986]

I work “part time” officially 4 days a week / 32 hours. But since my son started school in August I’ve had something like 4 Fridays to myself due to school holidays / in service days / self isolation/ schools being closed / having to work as my work is understaffed. Even on those days to myself it’s only been til 2pm as I need to collect DS from school. DJ has been at home meaning I’ve had to do his lunch, and also had to run errands on those days.

DS5 is high maintenance and wants us to play with him all the time.

I’m just absolutely sick of everything today; the house is a riot. I can’t move for DS or DH standing there asking me questions or to do something. DS friend was over with his mum for a garden play date and DS was asking for stuff constantly. DH was playing golf.

DH came back at lunchtime and I asked him to take DS to the park so I could make a start on cleaning. He moaned as he has had him all week due to Easter holidays. But DH has had time to play golf a couple of times this week; I’ve had no time to myself. Even in the evenings I have to call my mum every 2nd night as she’s on her own and a bit lonely.

I’m just sick of not having any time to myself to either chill or just get the house sorted.

In normal times we have a cleaner, and would be out of the house a lot more: so the house was never this messy, and there was never as many dishes to constantly get washed. I feel like we spend all the time busy but still living in a bloody coup

When your DH goes back to work and your DS is back at school, book 2 days annual leave tacked on to your day off and enjoy it.

The lack of space physically and mentally must be one of the most draining things about lockdown.

I went out with a friend this afternoon...I said to her on the way home I think it's the first time I've just been 'me' in over a year.

@Knackered1986 I am in Scotland too.
Monday schools back so this coming Friday can be reclaimed for you. No chores, just you.

Meet a friend for a walk / take out coffee
Treat yourself to take away lunch, eat it on a park bench/shore wall etc. Read a book/magazine/listen to music/podcast.
Hairdressers are open, perhaps a pamper.
Certain shops are open. Byers rd was 90% open today, good for a wander.

Next Friday can be planned now. Book lunch or a nail appointment.

I sympathise. I need time alone in the house to recharge my mental health batteries. I've not had any at all for over a year and it's bloody hard.

Agree with PP that you need to retrain him. Make sure you are not in when he expects lunch. I work 4 days but my DH does not expect me to make his lunch on a Friday.

I think DH should reduce his golf for a while. DH and yourself need to tackle the DS high maintenance issue together as well.

Oh god I could have written this!

I have a 13 month old and am also heavily pregnant. Barely been out the house since DS was born due to lockdowns/illnesses/isolations it’s taken it’s toll.

DH never takes DS out alone for more than a walk around the village. The prospect of taking a lunch bag and whipping him off to the park/beach/local city is totally lost on him, despite my many suggestions.

DS is at the frustrated and whiny stage and his whinging is like nails down a chalk board.

We went to the shops the other day, first time in forever and I was so excited but it was awful. DH didn’t want to go, complained how tired he was. Immediately bought a large coffee that meant he couldn’t push DS’s massive pushchair, so I’m huffing and puffing, got leg cramp ended up hoping around in pain. DS decided he was bored 5 mins in and whinged the entire time until we left early.

I was so deflated I cried most of the way home whilst DH sat sheepishly in the passenger seat muttering things like ‘it’ll get easier once lockdown fully lifts’ to which I totally exploded and ranted about his lie in, days to himself whilst I took DS out, the fact that it will not ‘get easier’ when we have a newborn and 2 under 2 and that frankly I’m sick of never getting a break or a genuinely ‘good’ day!!!

I’m so with you; I’ve been tempted to take a day off and not even tell DH until the day before so that I don’t end up with errands to run on that day.

I felt like you 3 weeks ago OP. It's just another couple of weeks if you can hold on to that thought? Being able to get out of the house will make such a difference to you. Our cleaning time had drastically reduced this week as we've been out for a good chunk of each day. The sun and exercise has done us all good.

I agree with PP though, stop making his lunch!!

There's another thread about self-care which is worth a read.

AIBU to be annoyed when being told everyone needs to selfcare?😡 http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4221657-AIBU-to-be-annoyed-when-being-told-everyone-needs-to-selfcare

The golf is a fairly recent thing: I suggested it as I want him out of the house sometimes!! We defo need to tackle the high maintenance son. He will rarely sit and watch TV and he wants us to play with him all the time. The only time we get a break from it is if he has a wee friend to play with.

@skylarkdescending yeah, I need to keep hold of that thought: just 3 more weeks. We never really had those issues pre lockdown.
At that point we both worked 4 days per week outside the house and had the cleaner in each week. The house was nowhere near as untidy because we weren’t in it as much, and the cleaner took care of the actual cleaning. Even on days off we were out a lot. Both of us took DS out for half a day at the weekend so the other could chill: but these days there isn’t as much to do that you can be out as long