AIBU to want to quit my job due to verbal abuse?

[crazymicrowave123]

I have recently come back from maternity leave from my job into a new role (with the same company.) They offered me the new position making it seem much better than what I was in before. Without giving too much outing info, I work for a large banking organisation in the UK dealing with customer queries and issues with their accounts and run into complaints almost every day.

The last customer I dealt with was incredibly rude, swore at me multiple times at me and called me a slapper. He then said I should be embarrassed with my job and was very aggressive (all due to issues out of my control) and I ended up ending the call and reporting him to our verbal abuse team.

I have been getting awful calls like this almost every day where people just have no manners and are aggressive or seem to think my job is menial so they can talk down to me. It honestly makes me so anxious and I don't look forward to coming into work anymore. My sister called me a snowflake in that I am getting upset over strangers and that I should be glad to have a job during a pandemic, but I really just want to quit and live off my savings (have a couple thousand to tide me over) until I find something else.

I have been looking for another job since last year but never seem to have the qualifications or the experience that the company is looking for in order to improve my income so my worry is that I will be left without a job if I quit or a job earning much less than I am on at the moment. I also have a child as a single mother so that also makes things harder. I might sound a bit dramatic but the words customers have used towards me and they way they have spoken have actually led me to tears in the past and I can't take it any more.

Opinions?

AIBU- Suck it up, they are strangers and be glad to have a job in the pandemic.

YANBU- Leave and live off your savings until you can find something else as it's not worth being treated like this.

Firstly I'd be having a chat with line manager and seeing how they can support you.

Yanbu to try to find something else but you might regret leaving before you have something else to go to. I would try to stick it out until you have found another job.

Line managers don't care, they just ask you to report calls to our verbal abuse team, and expect you to keep going. Can't even ask for my old role back as it has been filled by someone else when I stupidly agreed to this new role during maternity.

I’ve worked in a call centre- it is tough and the abuse some people think it acceptable to dole out is ridiculous.

I was lucky- my workplace was very supportive in that if you felt you could warn that if the customer persisted you would terminate the call and it was very satisfying to bash the “end call” button when someone was being a total dickhead.

I work in a similar field. It’s not personal and I can ignore their comments and anger and swearing.

It says more about them than you.

A sickly smile and I understand or thank you throws them off coarse.

But if this isn’t the jib for you ask to switch roles.

I'd be very interested in what your employer does to support abuse of staff? Surely it would result in loss of trained staff and work hours if they don't have something in place?

I used to (15+ years ago) work customer-facing in a bank. One time I was verbally abused the manager came over and closed the account down immediately.

There should be a policy for dealing with abusive customers. Ask to see it. See where you stand with ending a call under those circumstances. It is NOT OK to be abused at work. Speak to your line manager for support.

if you work in customer services dealing with complaints you will need to have somewhat of a thick skin. This does not excuse abuse you are describing though.

I work in the NHS and have done for 40 years. I literally couldn't care less if people shout at me any more. I am immune. I find if you play the small helpless female they generally pack it in.

Try working in A&E, you will hear the worst of people but I never let it get too me and just let it wash over me.

I agree with the poster who suggested following up the verbal abuse policy. You shouldn't have to leave without steps being taken to ensure more robust support.

@SakuraEdenSwan1

Try working in A&E, you will hear the worst of people but I never let it get too me and just let it wash over me.

Hardly helpful to the OP.

@B33Fr33 Managers tell you to log the call with verbal abuse team, then to take take a few mins (by that I mean 2 measly minutes) then get cracking again. Has a customer scream down the phone and call me a stupid f*cking slapper and after I hung up on him they apologised to me for having to go through that and then I just had to continue. They are even more awful at avoiding taking over calls when a member requests to speak to a manager. Do people not have home training any more? People have no manners these days it appears.

Yabu and yanbu.

Yabu to be in a job which affects you because "you are lucky to have a job".
Yanbu to wnat to change but yabu to not find new job first.

It grinds. The abuse. I wish comlanies did more to support their staff like refuse to provide any furture services for fhe customer. I banned people for abusing staff in a past and would happily do it again.

It also doesn't make you weak or anything to be affected by these. Everyone reacts to things differently. In one job I was laughing after being told to "Go home" (no, they didn't mean home home). In another similar stuff got to me🤷🏻

If I were you I look for a different job. Freshen up cv and go for it. It may take time, but there is no point staying here

That sounds rough. Just because other people deal with worse, doesn't make it okay.

Are you in a union?

I think I would:

• Press work further for more help and support.
• Look to see how I could upskill to avoid people escalating too badly. There are some ways of communicating that hot headed people will bash up against more, and some ways that should, in theory, help calm them down. Off the top of my head phrases like "Can you help me to understand?" and showing them some basic empathy can be helpful (apologies if this is old news to you). Most people want to feel heard, they want to feel powerful, and they want you to fix it.
• Develop a policy - if you have warned/told/asked the customer to stop swearing at you and they continue, terminate and report, even if that's 10, 20 or 100 calls a day. Or put them through to your boss to deal with. I think I'd tell the boss that that was exactly what I would be doing going forwards, too.
• and yes, I would be looking for a new position too.

Best of luck

Put the phone down quicker.

I think you need a line like "I will not tolerate this level of abuse and if it continues I will end the conversation." before they have chance to say anything that will bring you to tears. Just remember what they're saying isn't personal, they're complete cunts and whilst it must be a bit irritating to deal with it shouldn't get you down this much.

My understanding is it’s an offensive to be verbally abusive to telephone staff. You also have a right to not be spoken to like that at work, regardless if it’s a customer or a college.

I don’t know how much control you have in ending a call but I’d be giving the customer a warning if they swear or shout once, and if they do it again I’d end the call. Your employer has a duty of care here and if you need more than 2 mins to gather yourself then they have to support you.

Dealing with complaints (for a bank) is very very wearing... been there and done it. I found myself a new role when I literally couldn’t put up with being moaned at, harassed, sworn at and verbally abused a moment more. I’ve literally had people spitting with rage at me.
Is there any chance of a sideways move to a different department?

Are the “verbal abuse team” people actually doing anything with the info? Or is it pretty meaningless, a box ticking exercise along the lines of “workplace wellness” and such like? Talk to your team leader.

Pressed yanbu, but not because you should just quit - but because I don't believe your yabu is acceptable.

Surely if you solved the callers' problems or at least helped them they wouldn't be so abusive.

I do find the bland reading from a script, couldn't care less attitude one is meeting more and more on the phone annoying.

@Daphnise

Surely if you solved the callers' problems or at least helped them they wouldn't be so abusive.

I do find the bland reading from a script, couldn't care less attitude one is meeting more and more on the phone annoying.

That's really not how it works. And just because someone cannot sort some issue, they don't deserve an abuse!

I'm in a customer facing role and people can be horrible. I find they are having a go at the company uniform/brand more than me. When they start getting personal I know they are starting to lose their argument. For example, extra charges. Once I explain the extra charges are because they didn't do XYZ according to the contract the person has with us, then they get personal. So I say, well, if you can't defend your end of the contract and you're calling me an effing bitch, then who's right in this scenario?

Another one is when they know they are wrong but tell me that it's all wrong and this is how it SHOULD be. Well, it isn't, so suck it up.

We have a workplace violence policy, and a WPV advocate in case we need to take a person to court. We are also very unionised.

We have training on how to speak to customers without resorting to a bunfight, and training on avoiding verbal abuse in the first place. Quite often if strategies don't work we say to the customer, "You are being verbally abusive and I'm ending this conversation now" before finding a place of safety to hide.

If it turns physical, we notify the police and write an incident report for our Health and Safety department. For more minor incidents we describe them on an app and our WPV colleagues use the data for staffing, police cover, CCTV etc.

If we are verbally abused and we feel we cannot complete a shift, we ring a manager for cover either for an hour or longer to recover, or the rest of that shift if appropriate.

Yoyr company should make it clearer that verbal abuse is not tolerated and they will penalise customers if they hehave badly. I don't agree that the OP should grow a thicker skin or be told she's not able to "take it". Anyone dealing with the public should not expect to be verbally abused. The company should have a watertight policy including steps on how they support you.

Surely if you solved the callers' problems or at least helped them they wouldn't be so abusive.

Sorry, but that's simply not true, as anyone who's worked in any kind of customer-facing role will know. It's also not possible to solve every problem - sometimes people want something that's physically impossible, or completely unreasonable. Some people are abusive from the outset, before the customer service person has even opened their mouth.

" I have been looking for another job since last year but never seem to have the qualifications or the experience that the company is looking for in order to improve my income so my worry is that I will be left without a job if I quit or a job earning much less than I am on at the moment."

I think that you are right to worry about finding another job in the current climate, and need to stick it out if you are to ever improve your levels of experience.

But could you identify the next job you're interested in, either within the company or elsewhere, and set about making plans to gain the relevant qualifications and experience?

Is there a 'next step' if you succeed at this job that you might enjoy or do you want out altogether?