AIBU to want to quit my job due to verbal abuse?

[crazymicrowave123]

I have recently come back from maternity leave from my job into a new role (with the same company.) They offered me the new position making it seem much better than what I was in before. Without giving too much outing info, I work for a large banking organisation in the UK dealing with customer queries and issues with their accounts and run into complaints almost every day.

The last customer I dealt with was incredibly rude, swore at me multiple times at me and called me a slapper. He then said I should be embarrassed with my job and was very aggressive (all due to issues out of my control) and I ended up ending the call and reporting him to our verbal abuse team.

I have been getting awful calls like this almost every day where people just have no manners and are aggressive or seem to think my job is menial so they can talk down to me. It honestly makes me so anxious and I don't look forward to coming into work anymore. My sister called me a snowflake in that I am getting upset over strangers and that I should be glad to have a job during a pandemic, but I really just want to quit and live off my savings (have a couple thousand to tide me over) until I find something else.

I have been looking for another job since last year but never seem to have the qualifications or the experience that the company is looking for in order to improve my income so my worry is that I will be left without a job if I quit or a job earning much less than I am on at the moment. I also have a child as a single mother so that also makes things harder. I might sound a bit dramatic but the words customers have used towards me and they way they have spoken have actually led me to tears in the past and I can't take it any more.

Opinions?

AIBU- Suck it up, they are strangers and be glad to have a job in the pandemic.

YANBU- Leave and live off your savings until you can find something else as it's not worth being treated like this.

Can't even ask for my old role back as it has been filled by someone else when I stupidly agreed to this new role during maternity.

@crazymicrowave123 Have you tried looking for other roles internally? If you feel you don't have the right experience to move roles there should (if it's a large company) be development and training available to support your career progression and this is something your line manager should support you with.

It might also be worth a chat with your union (if you're in one) around what happened while you were on ML and the new role being 'missold' to you. Obviously I don't know the full background but you might have grounds for a grievance - you would lose nothing by having an informal chat with a rep.

So people getting abuse in A&E have it worse, therefore stop complaining??

'My dog died, I'm so sad'
'Just be glad you ever had a dog! I haven't been allowed a dog because my carers know I'm an abusive twat.'

Geez. It is not misery olympics.
You would BU to leave before you have something else to go to, but YANBU for wanting to leave. S

Geez. It is not misery olympics

It's MN, it's always Misery Olympics and But Olympics.😂

I think you need to keep looking for another job but you also need to think about why this is making you upset.

The people ringing aren't angry at you personally. They are angry at you as a representative of a company and a process. You will never see them in person and almost certainly never speak to them again. It certainly wouldn't put me in a great mood to be dealing with angry people every day but having been sworn at regularly as part of a job I wouldn't let it upset me either unless I knew I had mishandled a situation and made it worse.

How long will a couple of thousand support you? How is the job market where you are?

You aren't unreasonable to want to quit this job but can you support yourself if it takes months to find something else?

Oh I am so sorry, this is terrible. Your sister is not very kind at all either. I would ignore her for starters.

Agree with SpongeCakeAddict (Great name!)

"Pressed yanbu, but not because you should just quit - but because I don't believe your yabu is acceptable."

Don't live off your savings but work with your employer (and colleagues, who must also experience this) so the employer can sort this problem out for you and all your colleagues.

Many professions have a kind of rule 'no abuse of us as we are doing our job' sort of thing. Surely the bank could make it a rule that abusive customers are first put on hold for a minute to cool off, and then if they really cannot speak politely to you they are transferred to a different team?

Can you forward abusive people immediately.

You do need to toughen up. People will be bloody rude to a stranger on the phone. It's not you they hate, it's the bank. Put the phone down as soon as someone starts swearing. Easy. Next call. Repeat.

Your sister is an idiot for calling you a 'snowflake' alone. Not right to imply you should be grateful to be working, either. You're hardly in a position of privilege when you feel stuck in a job as a single parent (no offence I'm a SP too), on the receiving end of verbal abuse and are deeply unhappy because of it.
I'd quit just because I don't accept being spoken to like shit. You can get another job on the same level you're currently working at or better. People will say you shouldn't take it for granted but there's no reason you can't.

@Daphnise

Surely if you solved the callers' problems or at least helped them they wouldn't be so abusive.

I do find the bland reading from a script, couldn't care less attitude one is meeting more and more on the phone annoying.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, entitles you to verbally abuse people. If you do this then YOU are in the wrong.

I'd go straight to HR, say job not what you thought and you'd like your old job back. Emphasise you are entitled to it post maternity and you are rejecting this job as its not similar enough to your old one...see where you get....

I used to do this and you have to learn to not take it personally. Repeat ‘I’m sorry you feel that way’. I also used to move the earphones and not listen if they a in a rant.

The worst were the ones who wanted to increase their overdraft at 10pm on Christmas Eve. Clearly plastered. When declined ‘I personally ruined their children’s Christmas as now they couldn’t by presents’. I just used to offer them a savings account so they could prepare better for next year and a chat with branch for help with financial management. Been called a CUNT more that once.

The only thing that got to me was the threats of suicide, especially when they seemed genuinely over their head.

For the vast majority of people it’s not a job you can do long term. There were a few old timers but mostly the turnover in contact centres is high. There were often jobs within the company though in other departments.
If you can’t find anything you are qualified for then do a course in a local college or adult learning centre.

I feel for you. I had a cold call from a lady a couple of days ago, and I was so touched when she thanked me for listening to her (even though I didn't need the service she was offering) and I could hear that she was close to tears as she told me "You are the first person who has not been unpleasant to me this morning"

People can be utter twats can't they op- I worked in a call centre for 5 years used to ride my bike home in tears I'm a man so it's hard to be honest that it was upsetting me so much.

Just two days ago someone swore at my wife on the phone (a colleague) and left her in tears .

Line managers see you as cattle in that type of job and give no support - honestly though what can they really do ?

Look around for something else - even a pay cut is better than eating into savings right ?