Is it strange for a male colleague to call you princess ?

[justaquestion2021]

Just that really. I'm not overly fussed personally. Colleague is perfectly respectful. Just wanted to throw it out there and see what people think !

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Would probably give him a nickname back

@speakout

I recently spoke to a customer services agent at Talk Talk, he kept calling me sweetheart.

Now THAT would really piss me off!

I wouldn’t like it at all, particularly in a work environment. It’s sexist and patronising IMO. I have a name, please call me that.

But then I’m used to speaking up about what I want to be called. I call myself by a shortened form of my name, which also happens to be the shortened form of another name. When I get called by that other name, I just say politely, ‘That isn’t my name.’

I would therefore just ask them to call me by my name. No biggie.

Frankly? if anyone called me Princess at work I'd take them to one side and make it clear that it was never to happen again.

And if it did, the next conversation about it would be in public

I know two people who are called princess in RL and it is to show that they have had a sheltered and charmed life, over indulged by parents, always could rely on the bank of Mum and Dad and it is true.

One has gone on to have a lovely husband who dotes on her so the friends who have known her for years still call her princess, literally from her father's house to her husband's house. Tthe other has a husband who had a very tough life and only he calls his wife princess but we know that the termed applied to her upbringing.

I see it as an insult and would want to know if he called anyone else princess and how he perceives you.

@UhtredRagnarson

Why don't you start calling him a nickname that is boyish and young rather than mannish and watch carefully how he reacts.

Yes. Call him “little man” like you would to a wee boy. Ignore any pulled faces and keep using it.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 love it

I'd find it irritating but probably not offended. It used to make me laugh when at drive through restaurants and the ladies would refer to my partner as darling or sweetheart etc

I would also be tempted to respond with an equally patronising nickname...

I would start calling him Prince

I’ve only had this once at work - was a younger male colleague trying to put me down so he could get his own way.

If it's a name he calls other people then it's fine. Wouldn't bother me at all. If he only calls you princess because he thinks your behaviour is princessy then it's not.

Does he refer to his male colleagues as "little buddy" or something? If yes, then I can agree with it being harmless. Otherwise he one of those sexists assholes that think telling a woman to smile is suppose to brighten up their day. Only scenario where this is ok is if he is your dad (and even then it is unprofessional) or you are a royal.

I’d find it a bit condescending and odd but I guess that’s because I’ve never in my life been called princess... I get not remembering names though and terms of endearment like “pet” etc. Don’t bother me. This one would throw me off a bit though.

I actually wouldn't mind at all, as long as it wasn't said in a leery way.

Is it a regional thing? Cockney or east londoner?

Some are regional- i wouldn’t have an issue with a geordie calling me Pet, or a derby dweller calling me Duck, Hen from a scotsman, or an army major calling me Ma’am.

I used to work in an office that dealt with regional branches and it was interesting the different terms from around the country.

So a Londoner using Princess Dirty Den style wouldn’t bother me too much if used in that sense.

Quite often men do this because they can't actually be bothered to learn women's names. It incredibly patronising unless you happen to be really good friends with this person and have your own 'in joke'. I bet he doesn't call male colleagues anything similar, probably just uses their actual names

That would be like water off a duck's back to me, unless it was meant to mean I was 'precious'. I'd probably say something daft back, like "yes, servant?" or "I'm glad you comprehend the hierarchy".

@Frownette ' I'm glad you understand the hierarchy ' is brilliant

How does it feel to you?
For some people it might be acceptable.
I downgraded career some years ago, and I have noticed that (some) men think it's OK to casually drape their arm around me, or call me princess/darling. It's not in a sexy way, I am 60 and not as hot as I was 30 years ago, it's just patronising. This never happened when I was a lawyer.
Mostly I call people out on it, a few times I have made formal complaints. Nothing gets done, but the record is there, should anyone else need back-up. ( See, I still think like a lawyer!)

I don’t see the problem with it Wouldn’t bother me at all.

People are too offended these days.

Just yuck. He sounds dreadful. The others have responded - women don't do this, it's disrespectful and just yuck.

My old boss took a phone call from his wife a couple of years ago - he had not long returned from paternity leave and his wife was phoning him to check something and after he hung up the phone he turned to me and said "sorry about that, darling" then he immediately panicked and profusely apologised that it was so inappropriate of him and just habit as he did ca his wife darling a few times on the call. I laughed it off as it really didn't bother me (he is about 9 years older than me), but the poor guy felt bad lol!

We have had banter back and forth in emails too when he's had typos and has meant to say "would that be ok then" but he forgot the t so it read "would that be ok hen" I just laughed and emailed back "aye no problem son" it took him a minute to realise his original typo but he does always overly apologise lol. I think it's cause he's in a really senior post and it isn't common for a guy of his age to be in such a senior post in our field, so I think he pressures himself to be strictly professional.

My old team manager used to call me Kitten. He had terms of endearment for everyone on the team, male and female, and us him. I quite liked Kitten tbh, because yeah most of the time I'm fluffy and nice but when those claws come out, I can be dangerous.

If its not creepy or infantilising and you're ok with it, then let it go. I have close relationships with those I work with, we work in close proximity 40+ hours a week, we are mostly genuine friends despite being brought together by circumstance.

It's a bit dirty den, isn't it?

I did a training course in a week which happened to include my 41st birthday. At the feedback session at the end I was asked if I had any comments. My reply was to thank them for their hard work and an excelllent course, but that perhaps in future they might consider not using 'good girl' for praise.

I think the point was taken!