Is it strange for a male colleague to call you princess ?

[justaquestion2021]

Just that really. I'm not overly fussed personally. Colleague is perfectly respectful. Just wanted to throw it out there and see what people think !

Do you work for an east end crime syndicate?

@OolieMacdoolie

As a one off slip up it wouldn’t bother me, but otherwise it’s patronising and inappropriate.

This

If that's what he calls all women from there 20's to 60s, admin to CEO it wouldn't bother me

I'd think that was actually worse, if he's patronising all women and I can't imagine any CEO standing for it

Yep, I worked with a lot of older men/women who called me ‘hen’ my husband was a hospital consultant and the older male/female patients called him ‘son’ (Right y’are son! I’ll do that’) I’ve been called lots of things over the years, doll, kid ‘darlin’ I honestly don’t care....🤷🏼‍♀️

Yeah unless it was obviously a joke and we were friends I wouldn’t like this.

And yes I would reply with ‘little man’ or similar in exactly the same tone he uses until he got the hint.

I am reminded of examples where it has been part of an insult to suggest a woman is somehow difficult to work with. Princess Tippy Toes as used for Anthea Turner, and Princess Nut Nuts to describe Carrie Symonds.

So not good in my view.

It’s just another way the patriarchy like to speak to & about women. Any response from you that you don’t like it will see you accused of being “overly sensitive”, unable to take a joke etc.

It’s the systemic undermining of women in the workplace & wider community that happens every day.

If it continues & you get the sense that it is being used as a put down, ask them what they mean by it. Let them explain why they choose to label you as such. I doubt they will have a reasonable response.

I've thought about every job I've ever had, to consider whether there has been a single female colleague I'd have been comfortable calling them Princess. I've cringed and winced every time.

I'd hate anyone calling me princesses. Very patronising.

I’m with PPs who suggest turning it round and using it back.
DD, (who I raised as a badass feminist) was addressed as “Sweetheart” by a very senior colleague visiting the department. She didn’t miss a beat, and responded “Okay, darling”.
He was livid, and started frothing about respect. DD stood her ground and said respect goes both ways, and would he like to discuss it with HR. He ended up apologising!
V proud mum.

Male contractors at work try to call me these types of names and I make sure they don't do it again.

I wear a name badge. Call me by my name!

I would think they were taking the piss.

20 years ago I had a junior colleague whose surname was Kaur, which means princess. Very occasionally I'd call her princess.

I would not dream of calling her that now.

Is it a regional thing by any chance? There are regional terms which are used to address everyone, without distinction. I think (could be wrong) princess is used in Liverpool.

I still wouldn’t like it.

No I would not like that, at all.
From anyone!

In my head I see a cockney Den Watts / Phil Mitchell type saying this?

I don't think I would like princess unless it was clearly regional and a bit of a slip that wasn't repeated.

In 2 separate meetings this week I was called "mate" by older men in meetings. I'm 40yr old woman, they are both probably late 50s. One of them was also calling his male colleagues mate too. It was done in a friendly tone in meetings that were going well.

I don't quite know what to make of it. I kind of liked it, not sure why.

My dad and uncle have always called females Princess. They absolutely don’t mean any offence by it, they do it with everyone, wife’s, daughters, nieces, sisters, friends, colleagues.... it’s just a term they use where they were brought up.

If they wanted to insult or patronise you they wouldn’t call you princess.

I think it's sexist and infantilising.

This, and I'd add patronising and even demeaning in a workplace context. I wouldn't call a child princess, let alone a grown woman at work.

There are regional terms which are used to address everyone, without distinction.

Everyone? So men in Liverpool get called princess?

@AliceMcK

My dad and uncle have always called females Princess. They absolutely don’t mean any offence by it, they do it with everyone, wife’s, daughters, nieces, sisters, friends, colleagues.... it’s just a term they use where they were brought up.

If they wanted to insult or patronise you they wouldn’t call you princess.

The fact they only use it for female is insulting and patronising.

@AliceMcK

My dad and uncle have always called females Princess. They absolutely don’t mean any offence by it, they do it with everyone, wife’s, daughters, nieces, sisters, friends, colleagues.... it’s just a term they use where they were brought up.

If they wanted to insult or patronise you they wouldn’t call you princess.

This the problem though, a certain kind of man may have convinced themselves and those around it that they mean no harm bu it but they are patronising. Would they do it to someone whose position they really respected? Maybe a judge or a surgeon?

I call everyone princess Male or female, so it really wouldn't bother me.

I’d find it sexist and patronising.

But I have one caveat - have you worked together for a long time? If it’s a new working relationship, is there any possibility he’s forgotten your name? I had a colleague who was awful with names and resorted to similar to hide it. Not an excuse, of course, but could be a reason.

I am sure I'd accidentally call a colleague "sweetheart" as that's what I call the DCs.
I did exactly this last week after a week of looking after my GS. It was to my very straight laced and proper male manager!
I don't know who blushed more