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AIBU?

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Original poster

To let my dog bark for an extra half hour even though the neighbour was already annoyed

484 replies

Candlestand · 17/04/2021 06:16

I have 2 dogs, DH usually takes them to work so Mon-Fri they're never here during the day. Due to a bit of excess faffing yesterday morning he forgot them. Normally he puts them in the dog box in the car and sorts out DD and they all head off to nursery then work but somehow yesterday he just forgot he hadn't already put them in the car and I got a text from DH to tell me the dogs were still in the garden. Fine. I'm up in my office, WFH, the back door is open as it was such a nice day, they can mooch in and out as they please and we'll just walk them tonight instead.
I work for the local authority and we've had a nasty incident occur with a safeguarding issue for a child and I was part of back to back meetings so I never even went down for a cup of tea. I'm then in a meeting that I have been volunteered as minute taker for and there are over 20 people in this meeting and that's when my neighbour starts banging on my door. Initially I ignore him thinking it's a delivery and I can't leave this meeting but he is now practically pounding my door down so I race to the other room to open the window to ask them to go away whatever it is and he starts swearing that the dogs are barking and its really annoying. I shout down that I'm sorry but I'm in a meeting and I will sort them out as soon as I'm out of it. I can see he's furious and he storms off still swearing but the meeting is still going on without me and I have to be in it. I'm now vaguely aware that my younger dog is barking because it's been brought to my attention but honestly I just hadn't noticed before because it had been such a busy morning so I don't know how long they had been barking for. I didn't want to disrupt the meeting by asking for a break because there was a lot going on in it and we were, I hoped, almost finished but it turned out we were still going half an hour later before the meeting actually finished and because I'm now aware of it I can hear the dog still barking on and off for that time.
The thing is, we have a big garden and they don't come in when called straight away because it becomes a game to them so although me being out in the garden with them stopped the barking it takes me over 5 minutes to get them to come into the house (which I knew it would and why I didn't want to stop in the middle of a very large meeting to chase around my garden for ages). I appreciate it must have been annoying and I could see my neighbours over our fence so when I could go get them I apologised properly and tried to explain that I couldn't leave the meeting to come and get them and they were furious with me and said I was ruining their day. They are retired and are always in their garden. My dog was actually barking at their dog who was sat with them and my little dog could smell him, the older one wasn't actually barking. I tried to explain that he was just excited by their dog and if they had taken their dog in, he would have stopped barking but this just made them angrier (I meant it to try and break the tension as a discussion rather than a criticism of them, though clearly I misjudged how to say that) as they said why shouldn't their dog be allowed outside when he's being well behaved. I apologised again and just got back to chasing the dogs into the house and went back to work.

I appreciate it was annoying but I'm not sure they needed to be quite so angry. It was the middle of the day, this never normally happens at all because the dogs are not here during the week and at the weekend we're both able to be much more atuned to them if one of them starts barking at another dog or a squirrel or something and it has never been an issue before. We live rurally so other than the house on the other side of our neighbours theres no one else to be upset by the barking.
WIBU to put work before my neighbours enjoyment of their garden for half an hour?

OP posts:
lifeinlimbo2020 · 17/04/2021 08:33

@eurochick

YABU. Barking for "an extra half hour" must have been driving them crazy. It's really not fair. If they are not usually banging on your door every time the dog whimpers you can bet they had tolerated it for ages before coming round when they were at their limit. You should have just excused yourself for a couple of minutes to get the dog in.
You can't 'excuse' yourself from a meeting with over twenty people that you are taking the minutes of!!
Nith · 17/04/2021 08:33

@maddening

And no you should not have left your meeting to appease 2 entitled people who have every single day to sit out in the garden, it was only for 30 more minutes, they could see you were busy, their dog popping in for 30 minutes would have helped, they have every other day to be out with their dog, a one off moment of cooperation would have sorted it
Who gets to sit out in their garden very single day in the UK? Why does disliking the noise of barking for hours on end make you entitled? "Only for 30 more minutes" was on top of a number of back to back meetings. If you'd had a couple of hours or more of seriously annoying and avoidable noise intrusion, @maddening, how happy would you have been if the neighbour refused to do anything about it for another 30 minutes?
Eyevorbig0ne · 17/04/2021 08:33

Ffs get a trainer.
I've got neighbours like you with yappy dogs.
I've started using a dog whistle app every time they yap constantly. Bloody things.
Do not underestimate the distress caused by noisy dogs which you are unable to escape from!

Livingonadream · 17/04/2021 08:33

Haven't RTFT but yes, YABU

sunflowersandbuttercups · 17/04/2021 08:34

@Jimjamjong

YANBU, you can't control dogs every minute of their entire life, they weren't distressed or unhappy. As for the neighbors reactions, it is just a bit of noise that tolerant neighbors should be able to handle. Neighbors do occasionally make noise, be it DIY or building work, children, pets, party, loud music,etc... and it's part and parcel of life.
Barking in the garden is often a sign of stress and boredom. This was a young dog who was left unattended all morning with no exercise or attention.

It was bored and making its own entertainment by shouting at the neighbours.

Mayorquimby2 · 17/04/2021 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Nith · 17/04/2021 08:35

You can't 'excuse' yourself from a meeting with over twenty people that you are taking the minutes of!!

You really can. In many ways the minute taker is the most dispensable person there. "I'm really sorry, everyone, something urgent has come up, could someone else take over the minutes for a bit?" will cover it.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 17/04/2021 08:35

You can't 'excuse' yourself from a meeting with over twenty people that you are taking the minutes of!!

Of course you can. No meeting is that important Hmm

lifeinlimbo2020 · 17/04/2021 08:35

@Moondust001 wow 😯

GreyGoose1980 · 17/04/2021 08:36

Op
Be honest if you were note taking could you not have instant messaged a colleague and apologised and said someone was urgently at the door and could they take notes for 5/10 mins. Failing that could you don’t have told a white lie and said you had connectivity issues? I think your neighbour was being a bit irate if it was the first time however you are being a bit precious about the importance of your time and job verses theirs.

MyDogCalledMax · 17/04/2021 08:36

I have a dog and it pisses me off when other people leave their dogs outside to bark. My neighbours used to do this and I had words with them about it. It’s very unfair on the people around you and also the dogs. Don’t have dogs if you’re not going to train them.

TableFlowerss · 17/04/2021 08:37

@romdowa

Dogs barking in the middle of the day is hardly a cardinal offence. Some people just have no tolerance.
What about when people work shifts? Can you imagine how infuriating it is?!

Hearing a dog yap yap yapping is infuriating. If you’ve got a dog that can’t stop barking, get it trained, take it out for a walk/play, keep it inside.

A barking dog is loud and a complete pest of a noise. Even if folk aren’t working, they might just want peace and quiet and a barking dog doesn’t equate to that!

It might not be a cardinal offence but if it happens often enough to cause distress then it can be an offend and the council will get involved.

Lockdownlumpy · 17/04/2021 08:39

YABU
2 of our neighbours have new dogs since lockdown.
One lets their dog out to bark every single bloody day at the same time while we are having dinner. They let it bark for ages before taking it in. I'm tempted by one of those sonic device things. Anyone know if they work?

JaneyJimplin · 17/04/2021 08:39

As someone who lives next door to a barky dog and seemingly bark-deaf neighbours, YABU. It is like Chinese water torture to be have the constant noise of bark bark bark at any time of the day. Yes, dogs bark, but it is antisocial as an owner to allow your dog to continuously bark for a period of time.

BRB2021 · 17/04/2021 08:39

You left your back door open so your dogs were roaming in and out unattended all day

Talk about OTT- no, they weren't unattended ALL DAY some people are hard of reading

You make them sound like a pack of feral wild dogs

GeorgiaMcGraw · 17/04/2021 08:39

I think it sounds like a good idea to patch things up with your neighbour, as you said upthread. It sounds like you and the neighbour were both stressed at the time and it probably turned into a bigger deal than it needed to. You know that you don't want to leave your dog barking as it's unfair on other people, and maybe in future you would just have to excuse yourself from the meeting to round the dogs up for a minute. Don't feel too guilty about pausing a meeting, you are working from home and these things happen. Hopefully DH will remember the dogs in future and you won't have to worry anyway. Hope you and your neighbour can get along now, good luck 👍

lifeinlimbo2020 · 17/04/2021 08:40

@supermoonrising

You are unreasonable. Other people on your street were probably working too. Or trying to relax. And had to put up with half an hour of dog barking which is incredibly annoying.
She doesn't live on a street. It's 3 houses in the middle of the countryside by the sounds of it.
itsywitsy · 17/04/2021 08:41

Is this a wind up. ?? Of course. you are totally unreasonable, nothing worse than dogs barking - we have one next door - it's torture

NotJustAnyOldDog · 17/04/2021 08:41

People who let their dogs bark in the garden are selfish bastards of the highest order. I say that as the owner of the most ridiculously barky dog in history. One or two woofs, fine. But then sort the problem. Awful.

AliceMcK · 17/04/2021 08:42

I don’t even like dogs but someone’s dog barking in their garden wouldn’t bother me at all. If it was happening at night then I’d have an issue.

I don’t think you did anything wrong letting your dogs run around your own garden. I’d rather that than running around the streets shitting everywhere.

People treat their dogs like spoiled children, they are dogs not children, it’s fine to let them run around the garden unsupervised.

I think your dogs are lucky to have such a big garden.

Tell the neighbours to pull their heads in.

Lockdownlumpy · 17/04/2021 08:42

@eyevorbig0ne does the whistle work?

Debating trying this, only problem is I don't want to make bad relationships with the neighbours - hence why I've not actually spoken to them.
I assume you can hear the whistle and they'd known it was me?

sunflowersandbuttercups · 17/04/2021 08:43

it’s fine to let them run around the garden unsupervised.

Not if they make a nuisance of themselves, it's not. Mine loves to lie out sunbathing but the moment he barks he comes back inside.

Leaving dogs out to bark and guard the boundaries all day is lazy dog ownership.

lifeinlimbo2020 · 17/04/2021 08:44

@Lockdownlumpy you can get a dog whistle app on your phone. I used to use it at my old house and do it when the dog started barking and it worked for a while but then didn't have any effect. The owner wouldn't here it.

JeanClaudeVanDammit · 17/04/2021 08:45

It was a beautiful day yesterday and I had a very rare afternoon off. If I’d been unable to sit in my garden because next door’s dog was going mental completely unattended you bet I’d be pissed off. Definitely unreasonable.

Roszie · 17/04/2021 08:45

Doesn't matter what your job is.

You can't leave dogs barking in the garden for that long.

I wouldn't want a bottle of wine from you. Especially after you blamed them for having their dog in their own garden.