To feel sad my family don't care about academic acheivement

[hgbczd]

At work today we were discussing university and the topic of graduation came up. I have always felt quite sad when I look back on my graduations as I feel like they weren't what I expected. Obviously I've moved on but I don't know if IABU, spoilt and self-centred to feel like this.

I have a bachelor's degree and master's so had two graduation ceremonies within the space of a year or so. For both I didn't receive any kind of 'congratulations' card from any family members. It didn't really bother me but I did feel a little sad about it as I always felt like graduation is a big life milestone. None of my sisters or extended family wanted to go to my graduation ceremonies so just my parents went, which I thought was the norm until I saw university friends surrounded by lots of family members. My parents were reluctant to go and made a point to tell me how much they didn't want to go and how much of a hassle it was to miss work. Rather than book the day off of work my parents just booked a few hours off so after the ceremony I had half an hour to take photographs and quickly say good bye to everyone and then had to head home so my parents could go into work. My parents then said we would go for a meal that evening but nobody wanted to go. This happened with both graduations.

This was obviously all pre-COVID, now with COVID I'm grateful to have even been able to have an in-person ceremony. I have moved on and it's not something I mull over all the time, it's just when it came up in conversation it got me thinking.

I'm not the kind of person who would send cards for things, but it's a shame they couldn't be pleased for you whether they understood it or not.

I went to uni as a mature student, graduated at 8 months pregnant and my DH was there incredibly proud as he had helped me through it. I stupidly invited my parents and we car shared to the ceremony when my dad left 5 minutes before the end to pick up my golden child big brother (32) from the train station and angrily waited for us to come out. So I got no photos in my gown. I honestly wish I had just has DH and our DS.

I dont think it is the norm for siblings and extended family to attend graduations? Perhaps for something exceptional like a PhD. Everyone in my family has got an undergrad degree and a post grad qualification and definitely only parents went to ceremonies.

Different families value different things.

Some throw huge weddings and baby showers as those are the life events that are important to them.

Some make a big deal of graduation ceremonies.

Some thing sporting achievement is the thing to celebrate.

The thing is, if you are the child in a family that doesn’t celebrate the thing you’ve achieved, it feels like a let down. I was a very successful athlete but all my mum was bothered about was that I wasn’t spending all my time studying. She was so happy when I eventually gave in and stopped to go to uni.

I have a male friend who has won many award in his work field. Yet his family see his sisters marriage and family as the bigger achievement to celebrate.