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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Normal behaviour or something more?

30 replies

Mindgoneblanko · 15/04/2021 13:35

First child so not sure if I’m reading too much into it.
My toddler Dd is 2 years and 8 months.
She’s very energetic, can never occupy herself alone for long, very exquisite etc with very good vocabulary.
I’ve noticed that after playing with friends particularly, she’s ultra hyper, hard to calm down and often has some type of meltdown.
This morning, we had a younger baby friend here, who started to cry, my Dd got quite upset when she started to cry and put her hands over her ears and screamed, saying she didn’t like the noise. She does the same when our dog barks loudly.
She’s very outgoing and approaches everyone and talks lots, she’s just quite full on!
Is this standard behaviour at this age? I notice most of her friends are calmer

OP posts:
Notapheasantplucker · 15/04/2021 13:44

When you say she gets ultra hyper after playing with friends etc, that could be over stimulation. Kids can get crazy when they've had a lot going on like having a really busy day etc. I think it just gets too much for their little selves sometimes Easter Grin

bridgetreilly · 15/04/2021 13:47

Exquisite?

Sounds pretty normal to me, especially the response to noise

Original poster
Mindgoneblanko · 15/04/2021 13:49

@Notapheasantplucker She definitely acts/seems over stimulated, she’s not at nursery part time until September but has play dates again now a little. She gets very excited when playing with friends then towards the end all the craziness comes. I just wondered with that and the getting upset about the baby crying etc

OP posts:
Alonelonelyloner · 15/04/2021 13:49

Sounds normal to me. It is also perfectly reasonable to not like loud noise, dogs barking and baby's crying are both horrible sounds usually so she is probably just showing irritation in a way that older people can't get away with.

Original poster
Mindgoneblanko · 15/04/2021 13:51

@bridgetreilly *Inquisitive Oops, phone!

OP posts:
AmyLou100 · 15/04/2021 14:05

It could be sensory issues. Sounds very similar to my ds who has it.

Tal45 · 15/04/2021 14:16

Could be something ie not liking noise could be sensory issues which are often seen in children with asd along with advanced vocab and meltdowns, could be adhd if she is constantly hyper or it could just be perfectly normal 2 year old behaviour. I would make a note of anything you've noticed and then not worry about it, just enjoy her and see how she develops.

Original poster
Mindgoneblanko · 15/04/2021 14:25

@Tal45 Can you elaborate on asd at all? She’s very sociable and outgoing?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mindgoneblanko · 15/04/2021 14:26

@AmyLou100 Can you explain a bit more about sensory issues and the effects it has possibly?

OP posts:
Alonelonelyloner · 15/04/2021 15:41

I really think it is best not to leap to ASD and assume it is just normal 2-3 year old behaviour. For what it's worth I have multiple kids, one of whom has autism. She is also very outgoing and friendly, but at 2-3 she showed no sign of sensory issues with regards to noise.

In the absence of other evidence, the most obvious explanation is most likely right - which is your daughter hates loud, abrasive sounds.

bridgetreilly · 15/04/2021 17:52

Agreed with @Alonelonelyloner, in itself none of the behaviour you describe suggests that she is not neurotypical. Lots of toddlers don't like loud noise but will get used to/grow out of it. And getting a bit crazy after she's been playing with friends for a while is either over-stimulation or tiredness or both. I really don't think there's anything you need to be worrying about, OP.

Italiangreyhound · 15/04/2021 19:58

She could just be very sensitive to noise.

But it could also be linked to autism, which is a spectrum so could be very mild. I'd just keep an eye on things for now and see how it goes. It could be nothing.

Flowers
Original poster
Mindgoneblanko · 15/04/2021 22:54

@Italiangreyhound Reading up on the other signs, she doesn’t seem to have any apart from this and getting overtired/stimulated after playing with friends..sometimes having a big meltdown afterwards.

OP posts:
JackieTheFart · 15/04/2021 23:07

It seems like normal 2 year old behaviour to me.

I have three, my brother is a lot younger than me and I remember him behaving similarly at that age as did mine. Brother and my twins didn't like loud noises either. They've grown out of it by now though.

Bit of a leap from normal sensitivities to ASD I think

bridgetreilly · 15/04/2021 23:22

Having a big meltdown is COMPLETELY NORMAL 2/3 year old behaviour. That is just what they do.

Italiangreyhound · 16/04/2021 00:43

Indeed it may be totally normal behaviour. My dd is on the autistic spectrum and did not do this at 2. She is sensitive to sound. My BT son is very sensitive to light. Being sensitive to stuff is quite common.

Haviing meltdowns is pretty common for 2 year olds too.

I also expect as we have all been in lockdown you've not seen many other two year olds to compare her with.

Italiangreyhound · 16/04/2021 00:46

NT not BT!

ViciousJackdaw · 16/04/2021 01:02

This morning, we had a younger baby friend here, who started to cry, my Dd got quite upset when she started to cry and put her hands over her ears and screamed, saying she didn’t like the noise

Well, it is a hideous sound after all. Yes, it's a baby who cannot help it but it is still earsplitting. I'm not all that bothered about barking dogs but there are plenty of people who cannot abide them.

As for the meltdowns, that's textbook for DC of that age isn't it?

She seems completely normal to me, perhaps she will be one of those people who likes peace and quiet, maybe she will love beautiful music as fiercely as she detests grating sounds or she might simply be misophonic.

One last thing - wrt the baby, would you be equally concerned if your DD was a DS? I only say this as all the usual dollies and prams were thrust upon me as a young girl and I hated them. No interest whatsoever, in either dolls or real babies and DM found it quite disconcerting. 'How could a little girl not be love babies?', she'd say. It is obvious I am projecting here but just thought it was worth a mention and is meant with kindness, not malice.

Mollymalone123 · 16/04/2021 01:23

Completely normal OP - nothing to worry about here- children’s hearing is far more sensitive than adults-please don’t leap to asd or sensory issues-and being hyper after playdates is v normal - children especially at your Dd’s age do get over stimulated and excited then cannot just ‘switch’ back to an even mood with the best will in the world- that comes when they are much older 😂

Mollymalone123 · 16/04/2021 01:25

Btw I work with children and have my own plus grandchildren 😃

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 16/04/2021 01:29

when she's hyper and having a meltdown, put your hands over your ears send tell her you don't like the noise. she understands the concept.

Original poster
Mindgoneblanko · 16/04/2021 08:45

@ViciousJackdaw No, she has a range of different toys, mainly loves colouring, books and catching. I was looking after a friends baby so was busy caring for her and she was upset as mum had left for a short while, I guess Dd just isn’t used to the sound so close to her/in the house.
The dog barking is ours when she goes to the window and sees someone outside, tbf they are both annoying noises!

OP posts:
JungleIsMassive · 16/04/2021 08:50

I often find my children's behaviour is worse after a play date. They just need reigning back in a bit and some down time. It's quite full on interacting with other children, lots of rules they have to follow to be able to play nicely.

It's been a year of not socialising much and I feel drained after a visit with friends now!

Bumberlee · 16/04/2021 08:52

She sounds normal. Go for walks and playgrounds daily and low sugar diet that means fruit ok but no haribos, chocolate, junk etc.

Bumberlee · 16/04/2021 08:53

She's an only, she's used to a quiet predictable environment. Extra noise and people of course will overstimulate and startle her. I wouldn't read too much into it.