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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH annoyed me tonight

45 replies

Sjdmcfeet · 14/04/2021 23:32

Can somebody advise if I'm being unreasonable here as Dh is pissing me off
He ordered a new bed for us around 3 weeks ago , bed cost 826 quid and he agreed to pay which is nice of him and I was grateful for this and the fact he ordered the bed
Tonight I went on the website to have another look at said bed because we are gonna be changing our bedroom colour scheme to accommodate this so just wanted to put eyes on it again

I have then noticed that said bed is 526 pounds, exact same super king size bed we have ordered , this is a very well known company and apparently they are having a flash sale
I told DH and suggested he called the company tomorrow, he said 'it doesn't matter don't worry about it thats the price we agreed to pay ' am I right to be absoloutley pissed off that he won't contact the company and is just happy to write off 300 pounds , he won't even try to see I'm there is anything we can do ?? The only reason he won't ring is because he doesn't want to spend his lunch break at work tomorrow on the phone
His attitude towards money at times infuriates me , I have the customer order number but it wasn't ordered in my name , surely its worth a call to ask them to price match or we could cancel and re order? We got a call last week saying that the company will be making the bed at the end of the month so it isn't even made yet

OP posts:

ThatOtherPoster · 14/04/2021 23:34

I’m on your side. £300 would buy a lot of swanky new bedding. Is he usually this scared of confrontation? I’m sure it’d be ok if you rang.

Cocomarine · 14/04/2021 23:42

It’s his money though.
I’d be a bit annoyed if I was paying and you were telling me what to do.
Not that I don’t fully agree with you that he’s crackers and £300 is a hell of a lot of money to just waste!

Can’t get my head around your husband being “nice” and paying though, and you being “grateful”. I’m actually happier with separate finances in a marriage, personally - but a bed is a fairly “household” type item, not a special treat.

Original poster

Sjdmcfeet · 14/04/2021 23:44

This is what I said @ThatOtherPoster the 300 saved would pay for new bedding and we want a new blind also for the room
Apparently it's too much effort for him to ring up I despair I really do

OP posts:

Guavafish · 14/04/2021 23:45

Why don’t you make the call? Ask him to give you the details of the bed order... then see if you can keep the £300!

BerniesMittens · 14/04/2021 23:47

Go on social media to ask if they'll honour the price reduction.

Original poster

Sjdmcfeet · 14/04/2021 23:47

@Cocomarine the financial situation isn't an issue we both earn same amount roughly 38k each and all bills / nursery are split , we have joint account in which we each but 600 a month in , that money doesn't get touched because we are saving to move house

He wanted a new bed and said I will take care of it thats all and yeah I did think it was a nice thing for him to do

OP posts:

Cocomarine · 14/04/2021 23:47

@Guavafish she already has the details.
I’d just email them, or use live chat to impersonate him and ask for price reduction.
I’d also look up the T&C on website about cancellation.

But the annoyance here I think isn’t that she can’t do that - but that he’s willing to “pay” £300 for an uninterrupted lunch break.

Lou98 · 14/04/2021 23:49

You could phone up with the order number to find out if that is something they would do, they won't be able to give out personal details and may not be able to process a refund of the extra £300 to you as you didn't make the order but if you have the order number when you phone they should be able to tell you whether they could do that or not, then at least you would know and if it is something they would do then go back to your husband and say that.

AdaColeman · 14/04/2021 23:50

Why do you need to be grateful that your DH is buying an essential household item?

Though I agree that it's foolish not to bargain for the best deal you can get.

Original poster

Sjdmcfeet · 14/04/2021 23:51

@BerniesMittens thanks iv just messaged them on social media now
Iv got the order number I'm going to ring tomorrow and see what they say heaven forbid DH lunch break is interrupted the absoloute princess

OP posts:

Original poster

Sjdmcfeet · 14/04/2021 23:54

@AdaColeman just read comment above I replied to somebody else asking similar question
He is the most generous sole , but very wasteful with money , everything is 50 /50 in thr marriage I spend whatever I want after bills/ nursery as does he , I just meant I was grateful he paid for it because ordinarily an expense like that would come from joint savings but we trying not to touch that money at moment as we want to move before DD starts school

OP posts:

Cocomarine · 14/04/2021 23:58

So it’s possibly the same trait that has both made you grateful and annoyed!

I’m guessing that it’s the same flippancy about money that drives both the generous behaviour in picking up your “share” of the bed cost, and being able to piss away £300 🙈

Possibly worth considering whilst you feel annoyed, that it’s the rough with the smooth.

Though of course you must undo his ridiculous rough by requesting the price reduction!

deardia · 15/04/2021 00:14

You call them. Doesn't matter that it's in his name, you have the order number and the delivery address is same so it's fine. I ring about orders all the time that are sometimes in dh name. It's never been an issue as long as you have the the order number and same delivery address it's all fine

Bluebird15 · 15/04/2021 00:32

A little bit different here but I’m not sure they would honour it?
If the bed was ordered before the deal was advertised then it wasn’t in a deal at the time of purchase.
I can’t imagine expecting a refund because something I had ordered previously was now in a sale!

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 15/04/2021 00:35

Are you sure he paid 826? Could be have fibbed for some weird reason?

Feelingconfused2020 · 15/04/2021 00:39

On balance I'd just let it go. You keep separate accounts which is your choice but it means that this is his money. Why do you have the right to intefere with his money in this way? You've made him aware and he chooses not to do anything.

If you think you.should have a say over his spending then you presumably are happy for him to have a say over your spending and thus for a.joint system to be set up? If not then leave him alone to spend his money how he chooses.

Regularsizedrudy · 15/04/2021 00:42

Probably in the minority but I’m with your dh. Life’s too short. If I was happy to pay the full price I’m not going to go back and haggle. If it bothers you that much you can contact them.

TheChosenTwo · 15/04/2021 00:51

Oh my god I’d be mortified to call up and ask for the discount to be applied to an order that I decided was a fair price in the first place!
I’m not saying they won’t honour the reduction, just that It’s not something I’d even consider.
I wouldn’t be spending my lunch break doing it either. He’s paying, he’s happy with the price he was given at the time, job done.

user77hjjy · 15/04/2021 01:07

I don't understand.

You paid the price for the bed at the time.

Whatever happens to the price after then is nothing to do with your order.

BeaLola · 15/04/2021 01:09

It's a big difference and if they've not made it yet ......

What are the terms on the order - can you cancel within x period for a refund especially as not made yet ?

I think it doesnt hurt to ask as long as you're honest about it - not saying you wouldn't be OP

£300 goes a long way to new sheets etc

Bigballer · 15/04/2021 02:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

ImTheWolfToday · 15/04/2021 07:32

It wouldn’t even cross my mind to try to get the discount if I’d already ordered at the higher price, I’d just see it as my bad luck so I can see where your husband is coming from. Don’t think I could bring myself to ask the question to be honest, I’d be majorly cringing. Not to say it’s wrong, just not something that would sit well with me.

Shoxfordian · 15/04/2021 07:47

You’re probably not going to get a discount anyway because you ordered at the higher price. I would actually be annoyed with you if I were your dh and kind enough to have bought it in the first place

Original poster

Sjdmcfeet · 15/04/2021 11:49

Hello again everybody thanks for all your comments
Spoke to a loveley customer service lady this morning they was happy to deal with me directly with the order number , said bed has been reduced now by the full 300 quid , very happy with this took a 15 mins phone call to arrange
Thanks for all your comments

OP posts:

AryaStarkWolf · 15/04/2021 11:52

@Sjdmcfeet

Hello again everybody thanks for all your comments Spoke to a loveley customer service lady this morning they was happy to deal with me directly with the order number , said bed has been reduced now by the full 300 quid , very happy with this took a 15 mins phone call to arrange Thanks for all your comments

Great result, what did your DH say?

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