AIBU- deliveroo and DH

[Suburbandreams]

Hi all,

So I think I already know the answer but the way I’ve been feeling lately has me questioning everything!

Today my DH came home from work and scrolled through his emails in the kitchen. I went in to make a cup of tea to find him with a scowl looking very serious. He then asked me why deliveroo had emailed him...I responded with “oh yes, I signed up for a free trial of deliveroo plus when we got a takeaway on Friday, must be that!” And continued making my tea. He then reiterated his question- WHY ARE THEY EMAILING MEEEEE though. I laughed and said because I had already used my email I just signed up using our joint one! Well his response was to take a deep breath and tell me he was trying to “stay calm” while working out what would possess me to use HIS email for such a thing.

1. This is not a personal email- it’s the one we use for bloody eBay
2. I had no idea he would be so precious- he certainly has never paid for a deliveroo subscription
3. It was a free trial which I cancelled before MY card was charged
4. The deliveroo account was in my name
5. We share everything- I’ve often sent emails using this account without problem.

This escalated into the most mind-numbing argument. He expected me to apologise and promise “never to do it again”. I asserted that I was indeed sorry- I never expected this reaction which is frankly absurd considering we have children, a mortgage, joint banks etc. He did not appreciate my response and is now sulking, balking at my audacity. But this need for “MINE”, MY EMAIL and a general lack of trust has alarmed me.

It seems this goes deeper than me just finding an email to get a free trial during a financially tricky period where a takeaway is a real treat. It seems like he’s worried “this is where it starts”- what starts?! I’m hardly likely to jump from a bloody free trial to wracking up debts in his name, am I?

So AIBU to have not seen the big deal? Or have I crossed an invisible line of trust and deserve to grovel?

@flyingburrito I actually meant the fact he 'had to take a deep breath' because he was trying to get angry or whatnot. Sorry if I want clear there. However yes I think that's all kind of unreasonable and wouldn't be putting up with that. You may think it's an over-reaction and that's fair enough.

I think he doesn't want to risk you asking to see his emails.

Is it possible there’s stuff in the third email account- his actual personal one- that he doesn’t want you to see, and for a minute he got muddled and panicked, then went on the defensive?

So basically you are already registered but wanted the free trial 😂

I use dh email address for free trials etc but I don't go into his emails. I tell him that I'm going to and send me the code etc that he'll get sent. He does the same with mine. Doesn't bother us.

How incredibly patronising of him to give you a telling off for using a jointly controlled email address. Especially the whole pretence of the I'm trying to remain calm charade.

He obviously extracted some pleasure from belittling you if he was smiling about it later.

Hey I have to say it hes the bastard in the row and I would make it a thing for the apologie

I'd be concerned what this is really about to he honest.

@FireflyRainbow

I'd be concerned what this is really about to he honest.

Yes, this. He sounds like a nasty piece of work, and I'm glad you're thinking about things like the joint credit card debt that he's happy for you to have in your name.

Have there been any other out of character behaviours from him?

This is so weird. If he knows you also use that email account surely he wouldn't be stupid enough to use it for something that was a big secret. His reaction though is completely insane. No idea what the hell's going on but YANBU.

How have things gone after this op? Friday nights dinner ok?

It wasn't a big deal his reaction was disgraceful aggressive and unnecessary.
What is his problem? What is he hiding.

It's either about money and he's pleased with himself for 'tackling' it; or it's about the content of email accounts and he's pleased with himself for getting away with it.

He’s used that email for something else and doesn’t want you constantly in it.

^ I'm not sure if this is right but certainly it was a defensive over reaction on his part, so my alarm bell would be going off quietly and alerting me just in case something (not good) is going on here.