AIBU- deliveroo and DH

[Suburbandreams]

Hi all,

So I think I already know the answer but the way I’ve been feeling lately has me questioning everything!

Today my DH came home from work and scrolled through his emails in the kitchen. I went in to make a cup of tea to find him with a scowl looking very serious. He then asked me why deliveroo had emailed him...I responded with “oh yes, I signed up for a free trial of deliveroo plus when we got a takeaway on Friday, must be that!” And continued making my tea. He then reiterated his question- WHY ARE THEY EMAILING MEEEEE though. I laughed and said because I had already used my email I just signed up using our joint one! Well his response was to take a deep breath and tell me he was trying to “stay calm” while working out what would possess me to use HIS email for such a thing.

1. This is not a personal email- it’s the one we use for bloody eBay
2. I had no idea he would be so precious- he certainly has never paid for a deliveroo subscription
3. It was a free trial which I cancelled before MY card was charged
4. The deliveroo account was in my name
5. We share everything- I’ve often sent emails using this account without problem.

This escalated into the most mind-numbing argument. He expected me to apologise and promise “never to do it again”. I asserted that I was indeed sorry- I never expected this reaction which is frankly absurd considering we have children, a mortgage, joint banks etc. He did not appreciate my response and is now sulking, balking at my audacity. But this need for “MINE”, MY EMAIL and a general lack of trust has alarmed me.

It seems this goes deeper than me just finding an email to get a free trial during a financially tricky period where a takeaway is a real treat. It seems like he’s worried “this is where it starts”- what starts?! I’m hardly likely to jump from a bloody free trial to wracking up debts in his name, am I?

So AIBU to have not seen the big deal? Or have I crossed an invisible line of trust and deserve to grovel?

How odd, i don't even understand his issue? It sounds like he's arguing about something else but doesn't want to say what? Or can't say what for some reason hhhmmmm very strange indeed

Is it possible that he bought some shares in Deliveroo - customers got an option to buy up to £1000 worth before they were put on the market at the end of March. Unfortunately, they slumped almost immediately. Sadly a lot of small investors lost money. If that were the case, he may be a bit stressed about Deliveroo in general and may not want to tell you.

More likely its as PPs suggest.

I would be cross with my DH for adding my e mail address to something he signed up for. I get enough crap e mails as it is. I am with your DH on this one.

Bloody weirdo

Heh, he doesn't even understand what his shitty actions have set in motion.

YANBU he sounds like a controlling CF

@UCOinanOCG

I would be cross with my DH for adding my e mail address to something he signed up for. I get enough crap e mails as it is. I am with your DH on this one.

It's not his email address though. He's just decided it is.

Maybe you should get madder back op, tell him it's YOUR email and how dare he be checking it on his phone.

He sounds batshit and there's obviously something else going on, I'd be keeping an eye out.

Can I clarify something - does he have another "personal" email address or is this "joint" one the only one he has?

I can kind of see his point - my partner has access to my email address but I wouldn't be happy if they signed me up for things with it.

I would sign “his” email up for a million time-wasting tiny-penis-cure newsletters until he broke, but I am petty

Even if it was an email address that only he uses, the whole ridiculous "trying to stay calm" thing over something so inconsequential is a bit alarming.

Yanbu. Getting territorial over a previously agreed joint email account is weird. Does he play power trips with other things or is this new behaviour?

Is this over reaction a one-off? Sometimes we all can get a bit terse and short over seemingly innocuous things but if part of a wider pattern I'd be more concerned.

I wouldn't engage with him after your first explanation. “I've already told you why I used that email address” and walk away.

I sometimes add “it's funny, you don't look stupid” just to make the point.

The petty side of me certainly wants to sign up to surveys now and let the spamming commence!

Or perhaps those bingo sites where they need your mobile number!

He’s acting like nothing happened now and seems oddly pleased with himself, which is irritating me even more.

On the plus side, Friday I’ll be tucking into DC’s choice of takeaway as I have done some overtime so I’ll enjoy the look on his face.

It was so unlike him to answer a PP, that’s why I was so shocked. This has never been an issue before and the email address was never designated as “his”, more so out of laziness that he uses it because he never remembers the password to his personal....

WTAF. He sounds like a psycho.

Do you really think not ordering him takeaway is the right choice to make? It's just a guaranteed argument waiting to spoil your Friday night. Yes he overreacted but I really don't think this needs to turn into a retaliation battle.

@VegCheeseandCrackers

WTAF. He sounds like a psycho.

WTF? Guy gets annoyed about email spam and you jump to him having a presumably previously unnoticed serious mental disorder.

Way to overreact

@MsChatterbox

Do you really think not ordering him takeaway is the right choice to make? It's just a guaranteed argument waiting to spoil your Friday night. Yes he overreacted but I really don't think this needs to turn into a retaliation battle.

Letting this crazy behaviour slide is a pathway to misery though. He thinks it’s ok to react like that- when it’s totally absolutely not. If he wants to shout batshit nasty opinions like that, the least she can do is separate everything. He absorbs the concept that actions have consequences including in his marriage, a pretty important one for someone who is going nuts about perfectly reasonable behaviour.

Hes completely over reacted, and how in earth can it be his email address if its joint!

I'd wind him up by changing the password and concocting some wild story about deliveroo hackers stealing souls and email passwords so you have had to change ALL THE THINGS except his personal email so he'd better sort that out himself.

what a wanker.

Ridiculously OTT overreaction. Very odd!

You say this is a tricky financial period. If you’re struggling with debt, could it be that? That he thinks you’re wasting money on take aways or that he’d be liable to pay for it?

I wouldn’t think twice about using DH’s personal email address to get a delivery code or discount, let alone using a joint account. I often do it when online stores offer a discount to new customers. I don’t know anyone who would be bothered by this, except your DH...