to tell my grandma she’s being irresponsible with lockdown rules?

[nina3638]

sorry if this is the wrong topic

my grandma is 80 - she stuck to lockdown religiously the first couple of times but this time has not at all. she lives on her own and says anyone she likes can come over as if they get caught she’ll just say they’re her support bubble. i’ve kind of ignored the whole thing as i was under the impression everyone going to visit her (inside her house) knew the others were doing it. i haven’t visited her as have been pregnant/just had a baby.

a few days ago i was on the phone to her and she had some family friends over. one is terminally ill with prostate cancer and is going through treatment so pretty vulnerable. when i called back i said i was surprised he wanted to risk being at her house when she’s been having multiple visitors over all the time and has been taking risks. she said she lied to them and said they were the only people she’d seen in months.

i haven’t talked to her much since (this was last week) as i feel really uncomfortable knowing she’s risking someone who is very vulnerable by lying to them. it’s one thing if she was honest and he still chose to visit but he was under the impression that she hadn’t left the house or seen anyone in months and is therefore safe.

aibu to feel like i should say something to her?

@likeafishneedsabike

I assume a massive drip feed is on its way? Like the grandma has been toxic or cruel to you for all of your life? Because any granddaughter with a loving relationship with her grandma would not adopt this horribly judgemental attitude. Have a stern word with yourself, give your head a wobble and pop over to see her. She’s a lonely 80 year old who needs you.

She's not lonely, and she's lying to her vulnerable friend. But sure, blame the OP!

@chocolateorangeinhaler

So it seems that granny needs to be hung out to dry. What a nasty old murdering bitch. So why is nobody having a pop at the man? He will be the one with reams of relevant information on how to be safe during covid, yet still chooses to see friends. For all you lot know granny is one of many he pops round to see. Maybe he isn't being truthful with her too. Do people have a problem with the word terminal ? Whatever he does he is going to die from his cancer. If I were him I'd be doing and going where I wanted when I wanted, covid or no covid, before the cancer incapacitated me.

You can have "terminal" cancer for years. Especially of the prostate.

But apparently if an 80 year old tells lies that endanger people's health, that's fine!

Am just wondering, at what age does it become OK to be selfish, lie to others and break Covid rules?

I'm 54, when do I start getting a free pass?

My DH has prostate cancer, not curable but he lives with it at present. If ANYONE decides they get to choose who sees them for their own ends - shame on them.

I know if an elderly person puts on the sad face, says they are lonely and begs/asks them to visit he would. At no point would he think he is part of a cast of thousands being fed the same line!

I would be 100% saying something to my Gran. I suspect she doesnt give a toss. Her needs are far more important than anyone elses!

Sorry, but this sort of lying and selfish behaviour makes me feel sick.

@nina3638 do you know the friend’s full name? If so, I’d look him up on Facebook or Instagram and send him a message there. What your grandmother did was terrible, seriously.