Work one AIBU

[Covidbegone]

So I was asked to help out with a project months ago, but in the final stages, the editing down and smartening up stages. The people I’m helping have a reputation for being late to hand work in. The original lady who was liaising with them left her post before they got it to her. When she left she apologised to me and explained how long she’d been waiting and they were notorious for this.

Anyway new liaison lady comes on board. She gives them a deadline to work to. I go to her and explain that the deadline she has provided is in the middle of the Easter hols and I’ll be off as I have young kids. I ask if I can have the work a few days before as they will literally need the work on my return from A/L not leaving me any time to actually help out. This still leaves them a good few weeks to do the work. Anyway they complain they have not enough time. I advise them I can still help if they give me a day or 2 prior to leave.

A/L time arrives. I go on leave, no sign of the work. I return to work this week only to discover in the interim that the liaison lady has taken the job to my colleague who also has young children and is on A/L. My colleague however has done the work. I understand that that is her choice, however I feel completely undermined. It makes me look bad that I’m not willing to give up A/L for work, which tbf I’m not in this instance (they were given months and months to get something to me). I imagine that my colleague perhaps does not know the full story of repeated requests for work to be handed in by the original lady or myself. With all that in mind, would I be unreasonable to raise this with her? I just feel so undermined

I genuinely dont see how you've been undermined - and I'm a project manager so I do understand some of the issues around timelines and resource restraints.

As I understand it yes they were late if they wanted you to do the work. You highlighted it to them, they seemed to feel that they wouldn't have time to get it to you before your AL, and so they honoured your leave, didn't ask you to cancel and found someone else happy to do the work. So your AL was lovely, and they got the work done.

Perhaps the other person was happy to do some work to finish off what sounds like a late running project, and offered, or they asked and she said yes ok I'll take my AL later in the year. I'm not sure how or why you're bothered about why they did it - were you hoping that they would refuse, the project would grind to a halt and you could blame/shame them for the delays because they got it to you so late?

If my director asked me to pick up project work for another PM - which frequently happens - they might say "a third party is really late sending stuff in, and Suzi's on AL so could you help out and get us over the line" and I would if I was able to. I would never refuse on the basis that Suzy was kept waiting so therefore I'm not going to do the work because she isn't here. The project world would grind to a halt!

So I'm confused at why you feel anyone has undermined you...….

were you hoping that they would refuse, the project would grind to a halt and you could blame/shame them for the delays because they got it to you so late?

I think this is exactly it. Op is annoyed that the colleague didn’t support her stance, hence she feels undermined.

@Therewereroses “it sort of is a priority” - it may be a priority - but not as I said an absolute emergency.

OP alerted the person coordinating the project she needed the work sooner - they weren’t able to facilitate this. That is the coordinator or managers job to resolve - which they seemingly did through getting someone else to work their a/l.

This whole scenario Could have been avoided by better planning and monitoring of the project. Neither OP nor her colleague are at fault - the issue should be escalated to their manager and learning taken, avoiding similar situations arising in future.

A/l is crucial to maintain perspective and to support good mental health - as others have commented it is not a race to the bottom.

@Covidbegone

It just feels like a slippery slope. You have a colleague who gives up things like A/L so easily and then people send work to her instead of you because they know she’ll give up her holidays. That makes someone like me feel that in future I’m going to have to give up my holidays or will become known as the rigid one who’s not a team player. I am normally the biggest team player, but acts like this make me look as though I don’t care about helping which isn’t fair.

There's no indication your colleague would do the same again though. As per PP, you're over thinking this.

@GreenWillow

were you hoping that they would refuse, the project would grind to a halt and you could blame/shame them for the delays because they got it to you so late?

I think this is exactly it. Op is annoyed that the colleague didn’t support her stance, hence she feels undermined.

I’m not sure I agree, I think she wanted to do the work and get the credit snd now someone else has done it instead of her, and looks great for doing it during her hols, where in comparison the op looks like she wasn’t willing to support it as she was on hols.

I think it’s exactly what she said it was. I kind of understand her feelings, she wanted to be the one to do this, it was clearly important to her, and now her nose is out of joint because she didn’t get to, ans it’s doubly bad that the person who did do it came off their hols specially. So it was taken off her and given to someone else.,

Meaning this other employee may be perceived as preferred to the op. It makes the op look a bit shit in her eyes.

Do you think a French person would tolerate this?! (No, no they would not)
How do you think a Chinese person would react?
neither are of any relevance to this thread.

You DO have a right to undisturbed annual leave. It’s very concerning that others are so happy to give it up for free to their employer at the whim of the employer.

You might want to read the thread, because no one denied the right to have and keep their annual leave, but carry on with your little French movie.

Back in the real world, employees WANT a place of work where they can take annual leave and someone else pick up the work.
What people don't want is somewhere where the work is waiting for them, meaning they have to double their workload before and after. Makes people dread taking leave in these environments.

Therewereroses, I think we’ll have to agree to disagree! Although I’ll grant you in this situation I wouldn’t be complaining about my colleague who picked up the work at her own expense but I do sort of understand why OP feels muffed about it like Bluntness100 said. I also think OP sounds stressed and overworked and perhaps slightly low in mood as a result and therefore is second guessing herself and overthinking a non issue as far as her boss is concerned.

Also 😂 at 5.30 or me ever even attempting to go anywhere on a worknight!! And it’s not the same situation at all. It’s more like the manager asked me to see a patient who can’t cone in now but will definitely need seeing around the time I’m on leave. And I’ve said can’t do that week as I’m not here (unless you want to book them with someone else that week now). But can just about squeeze them in as an extra at the end of the week before I go on annual leave if it gets booked in now. And then nobody bothered to book the appt and the patient turned up at reception on my week off and someone else saw them. More like that.

Furthermore, there exists a very direct correlation between employee rights and unemployment levels in any given country - I’d be very careful what you wish for re: making comparisons with France!

people banging on about France should also research the full rules and employment regulations too.

People are always quick to find the bits they think are better, but blissfully ignoring the less attractive... Most mothers go back to work after a 3 months maternity leave for a start, and try to take time off in your first year in a company... the list goes on.

Let it go OP.

The work got done.
You got to keep your leave which you are completely entitled to do.
A colleague agreed to do the work - which she is completely entitled to do.

You are overthinking this. Let it go. Move on.

You were not unreasonable at all not to work on your annual leave. I don’t know that I’d have given the reason as “having young children”. It would have been sufficient to say that you have pre-booked leave that you require to take.

You are unreasonable though to chafe against the natural consequence of your reasonable decision - that someone else got to do the work that would otherwise have been allocated to you.

You would be very unreasonable indeed if you were to raise this with your colleague. I can’t even imagine how that would go.

To be honest OP I think you sound insecure. Do you see your colleague as a threat or is this a bit of guilt coming in?
You of course have the right to not work during your leave. You do not have a right to gripe about someone else doing it

And to all the people demeaning the colleague about no boundaries and how much of a mug she is, perhaps that's the area she works in?
I work with people with dementia and mental health issues who live independently. The pandemic has been a fucking nightmare to some and they've been slipping through the nets all over. I chose to cancel my annual leave through the various lockdown and had some extremely vulnerable and at risk people I was able to help because of that. I made that decision, same as I'm sure a lot of people in the nhs and support services have done. Many people have made decisions to try and help others out, so don't just dismiss them as having 'weak boundaries'

This could not be a better example of a non issue. You wanted work early, didn't arrive. You didn't want to work on A/L, no-one asked you to. Work completed and they needed help from someone willing, colleague stepped in to help because it suited her (which is none of your business). Its not a personal attack for them to find someone to complete the work, its business. It sounds like you're irritated that another colleague has stepped in your limelight somewhat and you're no longer seen as the 'shining light'. Seriously, find something more important to stress over.

Reminds me of someone whining because she was the only one keen to leave at 6pm on the dot while the rest of the team was more than happy to stay longer, for very various reasons, and no one was asking or expecting her to stay.

The moaning harmed her a lot more than leaving on the dot would have!

@Therewereroses tbh I think you have great fun stirring. You already said earlier in the thread you currently don’t work, so maybe this is fun for you?

I’m not a Dr, this is not a Dr patient situation, nor anything close to that. No lives are in danger if I don’t do my job, and no lives were in danger by the other team not completing their work either.

This is not a tender bid. I do not wish to disclose my role as it could out me. Yes I will certainly ask my colleague why she took on the job during her leave. I am curious myself.

I did raise the issue of lateness with them countless times. Liaison lady 1 told me several times about the problems she had with the team in question. They never met a deadline and she was sick of nagging them as it fell on deaf ears.

My point is that I tried to help. I gave them clear guidelines of my availability (which again fell on deaf ears). They still chose to send it to me when they knew I was on leave (I have that email). My colleague chose to be flexible, yes her call, but yes it makes me look shit. Oh miss flexible is more amenable to taking last minute crap than miss rigid. So yeah I am a bit pissed that I’m labelled hard work because of that. But I will assume for the moment it’s because she didn’t know the history behind work request.

Do not ask your colleague. It's none of your business. It's over and done. You need to move on and stop obsessing.

Covidbegone

you are being labelled hard work because of your reaction, not because of your annual leave.
Why do you refuse to accept that?

Yes I will certainly ask my colleague why she took on the job during her leave. I am curious myself.
you are borderline turning into a bully, I would be very careful if I was you...

Why on earth do you have any right to ask your colleague why she decided to help another team out when you were unavailable? Seriously, where do you get off questioning her because you feel insecure about your own boundaries you put in place? If I were your colleague I'd be telling you to turn around and walk away, you're going to make yourself look ridiculous and petty.

@thebillyotea I guess it takes one to know one

You're quite the little madam aren't you?

[quote Covidbegone]@thebillyotea I guess it takes one to know one[/quote]
wow

Do you behave that way at work too?

@Therewereroses I think you need to reflect on a few of your posts to see who’s been nasty here