Hey everyone. I just need a bit of advice...
long winded one I’m afraid.
my mother in law who I think for the most part is fab, is becoming more & more of a (hate to use the word) burden on my husband (her son)
My husband & I are in the middle of a home renovation, we both work all the hours god sends and we have two children under the age of 10.
Life like everyone’s is super hectic, but we manage for the most part.
My mother & father in law seem to have tunnel vision at times and I think are forgetting how manic life for younger families can be.
Recently they both moved into a new rented home, without selling their old one first. In their words they just “needed a new start”... problem is, the sale of that house has now fallen directly onto the shoulders of my husband. He’s been a champ & just dealt with it. The house was in a massive state, the garden was so over grown, and whilst they are only in their late 50s and with no real medical conditions, they said that “people with clean houses are dull people”, so have never really kept the house in a decent state.
My husband organised a estate agent, who said that if the place wasn’t cleared it would have a massive knock on in the sale price. So me & my husband spent weeks & weeks cutting back the garden, spent money on TWO skips, cleaned the house from top to bottom with zero help from the in laws. They didn’t even try and ask for help with childcare...
We asked if they could spare a day here or there to help with the cleaning and their reply was they just couldn’t manage it. Despite the fact they have built (themselves) in their new house, a huge shed, landscaped their new garden (like the old house is already looking like a jungle) & even put in a massive new pond in with all sorts of fish etc (they’ve managed that and loads more)
We finally managed to get it sold, and it’s been dragging due to some issues with the buyers buyers. My MIL is constantly on the phone to my husband, crying stressed that she has to pay two lots of council tax & rent along with mortgages (we have said they were daft to move before selling but as usual we get the company line “we need a change”)
Another thing now is, they own two other properties and the tenants of one has decided to leave. MIL & FIL asked my husband again to go down & sort any issues out (my husband has always had to take charge of these properties upkeep as they are just away with the fairies)
Now they want to sell this property, and has asked my husband to go down clear, clean, (it was left a state again) the place and pop it on the market for sale again.
My husband has an older brother, who has recently had a baby so hasn’t helped with anything. And a step brother who is as much use as a chocolate teaspoon.
In recent days I’ve found my husband to be more short tempted, withdrawn & basically running around like a headless chicken.
He works so many hours a week, we have our kitchen going in, and other works going on, two children who he doesn’t have time for presently (he’s an incredible father) and I am just worried.
She’s on the phone with him constantly & whilst I’d never ever begrudge helping them, I personally feel they are taking liberties now.
Even though I really get along with them, on reflection I’ve noticed that anytime there is an issue, crises or problem they instantly put forward my husband to help.
I’ve talked to him about this & whilst he is annoyed at them for constantly making work for him, he says that they are his parents so has too.
Should I A) respect what my husband is saying and watch his health decline or B) have a word with the in laws.
I really don’t want to rock the boat, but they just don’t seem to have any sense of what pressure they are putting on him.
Any advice would be great. Thank you.