Friends businesses pressure to buy

[HepLaurenceLB]

During lockdown 4 of my friends have separately published books. They are on a variety of topics none which interest me.

Another friend has set up an expensive bag shop, another a very expensive toddler coat shop. Another friend is creating personalised art.

The friends with online shops can see who has ordered what and know I haven’t bought anything. I have bought two of my friends books but not the other two.

If I bought one item from each friend and all 4 books it would cost a minimum of £400. I love all of these friends dearly but I do not have £400 to spend on items I neither want or need.
Some of these friends send me “reminders” that their shops/books are open/available. I feel embarrassed, when I speak to them, that I have not bought these things.

Am I being unreasonable to not buy anything else from friends?

YABU: support your friends and buy the items
YANBU: brazen it out and save your money.

Don't buy stuff you neither need or want. I wouldn't expect friends to come to my workplace to help me to do my job, why on earth would I put money into their pockets for things I don't want or will never use.

If they message just say "thanks for reminding me. I don't need a new coat for XXX/bag right now" or "glad to see you're doing well, how is life outside work?"

I have a small business making bracelets, bags, beeswax wraps and kids' crafting kits and things. I do post about them occasionally on my personal social media but would never keep reminding my friends.

Just ignore their constant requests. They're rude using their contacts just to try and get sales, rather than thinking about if people actually want to buy what they've created.

If it is email reminders ignore them. If they really push it tell them politely that you are not in a financial position to buy the items right now. I really question ' friends' like this. I once had a so- called friend who turned up at my home with flowers for me. I thought she had come to visit, until she started on about her boyfriend's business and produced a price list for items, that she would deliver and the items weren't cheap. I politely refused and I never saw her again.

They should be careful what they wish for...

A friend of mine (well, my husband's friend's wife really) self published a self-help book, you know, "believe in yourself" etc. She did the hard sell on Facebook to us all. (We don't like her much because we feel sorry for her dh about certain things) The book is so comically bad, I bought it to be nice, then some of our other friends got me to read bits out to them and laughed at it.

I'm just annoyed because I paid £17 to "preorder" it but then once it was released, no one bought it so she reduced it to £1 within months. I felt robbed lol

Jesus what have they written, war and piece trilogy? £100 per book!

Peace*

Any business which relies solely or heavily on purchases from friends is not long term viable. If their business needs your purchase in order to succeed then it's not really a business.

Share on social media, but I wouldn’t feel pressure to buy anything. No way could I’d spend £400 on books! That’s over a month’s livery!

@GameSetMatch
@Cherrysoup
The books don’t cost £100 each.
Piece of bespoke art £130+
Toddler coat £90+
Handbag £100+
4 books approx £20 each

No you shouldn't have to spend money on things you don't want and make yourself financially worse off to support them

In the last week I've had 3 friends start promoting craft type businesses on Facebook. I've 'liked' their pages, but the stuff they make isn't my kinda thing, I have no intention of buying. It's the sort of thing you'd make as a hobby imo, and perhaps gift to friends. None of it looks particularly good quality or long lasting, it's cheap/reasonably priced but I'd rather spend more for hardwearing metal jewellery, or actual ceramic instead of resin. Probably snobby but I am trying to move away from buying cheap tat.

OP just brazen it out and throw in plenty of ‘oh it’s so fab you’ve started your own business, well done you! How’s it going? Honestly everyone I know seems to have started a business in lockdown I’m starting to feel left out. I just wish I could afford to buy all the lovely stuff everyone is selling/making but I’d bankrupt myself. That’s the problem with having so many talented friends’

Kill with kindness but firmly make your point x

Just do the diplomatic fob off:

'Ooooo these look lovely. I'll let you know when I'm in the market for one. Meanwhile I'll like and share. All the best'

I don’t know why some businesses would refuse orders from friends / offer things they want for free. When I first started, any time a friend tried to order something I would feel awkward and offer a massive discount, but most would insist on paying full price. And I’ve had several friends who’ve commissioned multiple pieces for themselves and as gifts over the years.

You should never push anyone to buy from you, but I wouldn’t turn down business either - your time is valuable and I bet your friends don’t work for free!

I started a business during the pandemic. I appreciate engagement with my social media just as much as anyone buying anything. And as a bonus, it's free!

YANBU

I run a small business and I make certain never to put friends under pressure to buy. I really appreciate it if they follow the business on social media and like / comment though!

I never message them directly to try and sell something though, and if they do want to order then I give them a 25% discount.

Friends aren't sales leads.

(Actually I did message a friend once - but that was only because I had a very limited quantity of her favourite variety in stock and it was solely an FYI so she didn't miss out if she wanted one - turned out she didn't and that was absolutely fine, I just didn't want her to be disappointed!)

@CruCru

It’s always quite awkward when a friend writes a book. You feel that you have to buy it but then they want to hear how much you enjoyed it. Then they want you to write a review on Amazon and send links to all your friends.

Please don’t feel guilty about not buying all this stuff. Apart from the money, it would also mean filling your house with yet more stuff you don’t want.

The friends that were important to me have given me a book and the friends that I’ve known forever (since school) have posted on social media but that is it, no pressure. I actually felt more like buying the book from that friend as she hadn’t put any pressure on anyone and I did want to support her but I would never read the book.

You don't have to do anything. If my friend was selling something that I had no interest in and it didn't benefit me in some way, I wouldn't buy it. It would be a complete waste of money.

As others have asked, why do you even feel that you should buy items you don't need, so basically give your money to someone else? It just makes no sense.

@PRsecrets This kind of thing. www.childrensalon.com/ancar-girls-blue-wool-coat-140003.html?__currency=GBP&___fdc=GB&variant_code=140003-575669&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpcmTqMb77wIVhbWyCh0ifAaeEAQYBSABEgIz1PD_BwE

I run my own business and absolutely don't expect friends and family to buy things from me!

I really appreciate it when they do, or when they share my page, but there's absolutely no expectation there so please don't feel guilty!

In fact, I often feel guilty when someone buys from me as I can't afford to give them a discount so I feel bad that they have to pay full price!