Friends businesses pressure to buy

[HepLaurenceLB]

During lockdown 4 of my friends have separately published books. They are on a variety of topics none which interest me.

Another friend has set up an expensive bag shop, another a very expensive toddler coat shop. Another friend is creating personalised art.

The friends with online shops can see who has ordered what and know I haven’t bought anything. I have bought two of my friends books but not the other two.

If I bought one item from each friend and all 4 books it would cost a minimum of £400. I love all of these friends dearly but I do not have £400 to spend on items I neither want or need.
Some of these friends send me “reminders” that their shops/books are open/available. I feel embarrassed, when I speak to them, that I have not bought these things.

Am I being unreasonable to not buy anything else from friends?

YABU: support your friends and buy the items
YANBU: brazen it out and save your money.

I re-started my craft crap business duringlockdown. I also banned friends and family from buying any of it.

I'm graduating to art crap shortly. I'll be keeping the ban (unless someone can really persuade me they need what I do really, really badly - not likely!)

But they all share the living daylights out of my posts, which is all I could wish for!

I never "support" friends business for the sake of it.

If it's a good business they won't need me to. If it's something I wanted to buy anyway, I will buy it from them out of goodwill, even if it's a tiny bit pricier. If its miles more expensive.... no.

A friend set up a business selling products you could buy elsewhere at the same prices. They were expensive and I didnt like them so I didnt buy any.

Businesses that rely on friends buying out of kindness or pity don't last and I kind of think it's a bit mean to lead them into thinking it's going better than it is - they could be investing time & money they need elsewhere

If you don't actually want the item don't buy it otherwise you are giving them a false impression of their potential market.

I would never buy something from a friend’s business just to help them out unless it was under a fiver and not an MLM.

When they send those messages about their business just be breezy and either ignore or reply ‘oh yeah I saw you’d gone live, good luck! Hope it’s going well!’ and move on.

I promise you the vast majority of their circle won’t have the money or inclination to be buying stuff they don’t need from them.

Some of these friends send me “reminders” that their shops/books are open/available.

at most I would share the name and link on my social media. I wouldn't be any more supportive than that!

If they expect more, they are bonkers and CF.

I'm quite the people pleaser generally but have no problem in not buying products i don't want from friends who have recently decided to try and start up. I merely hide their business pages from my fb feed. If they were to question me to my face I'd merely say they aren't selling anything I want. Most of the stuff is massively overpriced and whilst I like to support friends I'm not a charity

I have a small business and I actually feel really embarrassed when friends order. I’d hate for them to feel like they had to.

Don’t feel pressured into buying. There’s other ways to support them like engaging with their social media posts or writing them a nice review if you’ve seen their products

@FlyingBurrito

I suppose I meant more in the 'style' of MLM, where unfortunate suckers are pressured to try and sell to their friends.

Suggest they buy each other’s products.

On social media there is an algorithm you can help them with. Every time they post an update, click 'like' or 'love' and then comment below. Can be a single word.

Doing this promotes their products to others as you increase their visibility.

Just clicking like or love doesn't count towards promoting visibility.

Tell them that although you can't afford to financial support then you will do your best to promote them.

@DarkishBlue

My sil has a shop selling her own craft work. I am forbidden to buy anything from it. If there is anything I want, she says, she will give it to me as a gift.

Me too! I make and sell, and I will gift to family and friends. I'd never take payment.

No friend would make you feel guilty for nothing buying their stuff just bare that in mind before you start feeling guilty

I think it's unprofessional to target friends in this way, it would make me question the friendship tbh.
We have a business as do most of our friends and colleagues and wouldn't dream of it.
Obviously we consider friends if they sell exactly what we need at the right price, but they wouldn't target us.
Maybe your friends have businesses in name only, and few actual customers.

Just vaguely say something like: I sent a link to my friend in Manchester /some other vastly populated place as I thought she'd like it, hope she bought one.

Hopefully someone in Manchester did buy one...

Yeah I just got a link for someone's new business too. It's annoying.

I am flattered when instructed by friends or family but find third parties I don’t know the ones who recommend most widely! Often the clients I find quite grumpy and I feel we haven’t clicked with then recommend me far and wide! You can never tell.

“Gloria, I’m so proud of you and was actually feeling really guilty for not buying anything until I worked out that buying the cheapest item from all my newly self employed friends would cost me over £400! I definitely can’t do that, so I’ll support you proudly by sharing your posts when I can on SM”

It's cheeky and you shouldn't be expected to buy things.
I am writing a book (historical fiction). My family and friends know about it but I would never push them into reading / buying / reviewing it.
I've had two or three friends say they'd like to read it when it's finished but unless they ask again when it's finished, I won't ask anyone outright. I find it extremely awkward and I write for me, not to make money. And if someone genuinely wants to read it then great, otherwise, I don't mention it

I am usually happy to help my friends promote any business or art by liking it on FB but not beyond that unless I actually want the item. I have bought a few books over the years as I'm interested in the subject and interested to see what they wrote, but only of the cheaper paperback variety.

When I was younger, people I knew had these parties flogging books, linen items, Tupperware, cleaning products , old fashioned photos of their children etc . people would eat and drink , have a catch up , then either buy the cheapest item they sold or just slip off quietly.
I learnt to avoid them if I could.
This is just an extension of these kind of selling schemes! Hard if they are very good friends of yours. If it was a book that might interest me and not much money to download I would do this , but then I like reading!

In answer to a couple of questions. I do have a toddlers but they have a perfectly good coats handed down from an older sibling.

Some of my friends are quite affluent and would spend £££ on baby clothes. I see no point in spending a lot on clothes that will be destroyed or outgrown in a few months.

Buy if and when you want to. They shouldn’t expect you to buy stuff you don’t need/want.

I never feel pressured to buy something because I don’t do hints and when asked, I’m not afraid to say I’m not interested. And if they try to pile on the pressure, I won’t even share a link or like their page. I won’t be bullied and never feel embarressed and neither should you.

They aren’t friends OP.