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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School want DD to go to a childminder

99 replies

RosieLemonade · 12/04/2021 12:36

My DD is 4 and goes to a school nursery 830 till 12 every day. I only work part time so I can pick her up Monday and Tuesday. My mum has her Friday. DH had been working from home and had her Wednesday and Thursday. Not ideal but similar to lots of WFH parents. However he is now back working in the field so to speak.
DD's great grandparents have offered to have her on those two days. Previous to covid they had her on those days anyway. They are both fully vaccinated plus 3 weeks.
However school has said that as my mum is my childcare bubble then they cannot allow DD to go with them. It needs to be a professional. I am unlikely to find a CM who can go pick her up at lunch time. Also it is something else to pay out for which I wasn't expecting. AIBU to feel a bit annoyed?

OP posts:
skeggycaggy · 12/04/2021 13:03

Good point MintyMabel, two households/6 people can meet up freely outside now anyway Confused

BigRedBoat · 12/04/2021 13:08

Tell nursery you have employed great grandparents as nannies and therefore they are now professional childcarers.

EvilEdna1 · 12/04/2021 13:09

The nursery can ask and advise but don't have any power. I work in a school and we ask people not to get parents outside their bubble to collect but other than asking there is absolutely nothing we can do. We are not the police.

RedMarauder · 12/04/2021 13:13

@SakuraEdenSwan1 the guidance about childcare bubbles is part of the Coronvirus regulations so is law.

Crunchymum · 12/04/2021 13:17

Tell them your mum lives with "her parents" (your grandparents who will be providing childcare) even if she doesn't / they aren't her parents.

Original poster
RosieLemonade · 12/04/2021 13:18

The nursery has am groups and pm groups. She can't go to both and they have no lunch provisions. DH can be working all over the county.

OP posts:
Bellaphant · 12/04/2021 13:23

Our nursery also made us sign to say we had no other childcare support or a bubble, to keep their contacts low - I had assumed this was standard at the moment.

RedMarauder · 12/04/2021 13:24

Tell nursery you have employed great grandparents as nannies and therefore they are now professional childcarers.

And as nannies don't have to be OFSTED registered they can't argue with you.

NameChangedForThisFeb21 · 12/04/2021 13:26

Options;

Say your Mum or GGPS live with you.

Say your Mum/GGP is paid childcare

Say you are support bubble for Mum and childcare bubble with GGPs.

I’m usually a stickler for the rules but this particular set up is safer than a potentially unvaccinated childminder caring for multiple households’ and schools’ children. The risk is more not less with what they suggest.

katy1213 · 12/04/2021 13:26

Tell them that your great-grandparents and mother have moved in with you - one big happy household.

LDom · 12/04/2021 13:28

This reply has been deleted

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Embroideredstars · 12/04/2021 13:30

Tell school you have changed the childcare to your GPs (they dont need to know whether you do or not) I think you are allowed a support bubble.and childcare bubble from different people though as pp said.

AntiSocialDistancer · 12/04/2021 13:32

@RedMarauder

Tell nursery you have employed great grandparents as nannies and therefore they are now professional childcarers.

And as nannies don't have to be OFSTED registered they can't argue with you.

this exactly. Provide proof of payment if required, I'm sure one receipt for £30 should be enough.
emmathedilemma · 12/04/2021 13:37

www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-childcare-bubble-with-another-household
If you mum is a single adult household then she can be your support bubble and the GGP your childcare bubble because you can have both.
This is just further proof that the people who make the rules / guidance don't live in the practicalities of the real world!!

Beeme29 · 12/04/2021 13:42

So they won’t release to your grandparents but they would a childminder. Makes no sense. I don’t think the nursery can dictate who picks her up. If it was a few months ago I’d understand more but now lockdown is easing and you can meet with 6 people anyway. They don’t know whether they will be spending the time with them in or out. So the nursery should
Keep their beaks out imo.

At my children’s school (primary) often children get picked up by grandparents (either set), friends, other mums etc. The school don’t give a damn if it’s pre arranged.

YANBU.

Abraxan · 12/04/2021 13:43

Tell them grandma is a childminder.

Ohnomoreno · 12/04/2021 13:44

This bollocks needs to stop .

Love51 · 12/04/2021 13:45

I work with schools, and they can't refuse to release a child to the person the parent says (if there are safeguarding concerns it is more complicated than that, but that is irrelevant to this situation). They are relying on you not wanting to put elderly relatives in a situation which is socially awkward. I don't have grandparents but if I did, it would depend on the personality of the grandparents if I would just say "no" to the school.
My kids go to the childminders, where they mix with preschool children and children from another school (Mr childminder and Mrs childminder pick up from different places). It is not safer than family care! (Covid wise. In other ways of course it depends on the family member!)

Love51 · 12/04/2021 13:48

My mum sometimes walks my kids home for me if I'm in a meeting at home. She doesn't come in my house and they don't go in hers. If you are working from home, then the childcare is all outside, it's fine, isn't it? They don't know if you are WFH. Your child will inevitably grass you up, but if it is true, tell them that.

yomommasmomma · 12/04/2021 13:48

Sorry but my view would be pay for childcare for your child. Grandparents doing regular child care is too much, but great grandparents is ridiculous!!! How old are they?

DaydreamsAndWishes · 12/04/2021 13:50

[quote RedMarauder]@SakuraEdenSwan1 the guidance about childcare bubbles is part of the Coronvirus regulations so is law.[/quote]
I'd be really interested to see this - can you point me to where it is law? What someone has posted is guidance only, not law.

I work in a school and as far as I'm aware we have no power to stop a child going with a nominated adult.

user1493413286 · 12/04/2021 13:55

Can your DH pick her up using his lunch break and take her to great grandparents just for a month or so? Seems ridiculous to me really as a childminder would be even more mixing.

GoToSleepBabyPlease · 12/04/2021 14:01

Tell them you and your great grandparents are in a support bubble.

Heiferr · 12/04/2021 14:02

@yomommasmomma

Sorry but my view would be pay for childcare for your child. Grandparents doing regular child care is too much, but great grandparents is ridiculous!!! How old are they?
That really isn’t the point of the thread though, is it? It’s annoying when people get all judgy about grandparents and childcare, it’s literally none of your business. Some family dynamics are just like this and that’s perfectly ok
IHateWinter88 · 12/04/2021 14:05

Change nursery, they sound pretty shit